ICYMI: Rocky Balboa Looks Totally Fly

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Rocky Balboa, the highly anticipated sixth sequel in the Rocky franchise, will be poorly enunciating its way to theaters this Christmas. But for those of you too pumped on roids to wait another six months for Sly Stallone‘s stair-climbing goodness, worry not. In Living Color had the comedic intuition to make their own Rocky 6 way back in 1990. You might need to drink some water while watching: Seeing Jim Carrey actually be funny is cause for an aneurysm. Also, we’re not sure what the deal is with those foreign-looking subtitles, but we pray that the real Rocky Balboa will follow suit. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to slap some bracelets on my wrists and practice my Fly Girl routine.

PROPPED: Mario In MySpace

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GeoffreyG dropped a new Mario In MySpace cartoon. This time, Mario and Luigi debate the pros and cons of expanding your Top 8. This is, without a doubt, the funniest MySpace parody involving characters from 1980′s Nintendo games EVER. Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

Got something of your own you want to share? Drop It now!

It’s July 20th; What’s up?

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devito.jpgEverybody’s been telling me to check out It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia on F/X. I’ve been hesitant. I’d like to keep my life long streak of never tuning in to F/X intact (except for that one time I accidentally turned it on and caught the second half of Encino Man ). Well, after watching this clip from last week’s episode, I think I’m going to have to break the streak. The show looks hilarious.

What else is on tonight? You have Big Brother on CBS, So You Think You Can Dance? on Fox, and America’s Got Talent on NBC. What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

25 Biggest Wusses… Ever!

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Lachey1.bmpBlender Magazine compiled a pretty accurrate list of the 25 Biggest Wusses Ever. Although number 2 on their list doesn’t make any sense: Nick Lachey. Wuss? No way. This is the same guy who was man enough to pick-up Jessica Simpson‘s laundry off of the ground. And he was totally making his trademarked “angry face” when he was doing it. And he can totally kick your ass… in a falsetto singing competition. So there.

Who do you think is the biggest wuss ever?

ICYMI: Fergie Goes Solo

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So here’s the video for “London Bridge”, Fergie’s first solo effort without the aid of her favorite Black Eyed Peas. Her lovely lady lumps are in full effect so I don’t have any complaints regarding the video… but the song. Oh, the song. What do you think? Watch it now.

Celebrity Trend: Dangerous Accidents

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Baldwin.JPGSome might call it coincidence, other might call it a trend. Yesterday, Daniel Baldwin (the Baldwin you have trouble picturing right now) crashed a rented Thunderbird into two parked cars (including a Hummer) while travelling at 80 mph. Reports now say that Baldwin was driving under the influence, although they haven’t specified whether it was the influence of alcohol or his leading man good looks.

And last night, doe-eyed angel Haley Joel Osment lost control of his pimped 1995 Saturn and slammed into a brick pillar. While there is no word as to his condition, here’s hoping all that robot talk in A.I. wasn’t a joke, and that Osment will be back to his creepily friendly self in no time.

We hate to be superstitious, but you know the old saying: B-List Tragedy Happens in Threes. Which is why we have this little word of advice to send out into the universe: Jonathan Lipnicki, whatever you do, do not set foot in a car. Walk, rollerblade, hang glide if you have to… but don’t drive! You’re the only way my dream of Jerry Maguire 2 will ever be realized.
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ICYMI: Paris’ Ears Are Burning

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pariscry2.JPGWhilst walking through the jungle as they always do, a TMZ camera crew accidentally stumbled upon a species known as the Paris Hilton. After a mutual moment of fear and confusion, the Paris Hilton agreed to engage the paparazzi in an “impromptu” Q & A session, specifically addressing the recent outbreak of “mean comments” people have been leaving about the Paris Hilton on the Internet. Apparently, the Paris Hilton doesn’t like it when people say “mean and sadistic” things about her, and sometimes it makes her very sad. Even when you have millions of undeserved dollars and life of luxurious comfort that most of the world’s population will never know, it hurts when anonymous people say bad things about you in the comments section of Internet sites. It particularly hurts the Paris Hilton that the viscious blog readers who leave these comments haven’t even bothered to take the time to get to know her in person so that they might see what kind of beautiful, compassionate being she actually is. You people should be ashamed of yourselves – the Paris Hilton has feelings, too.

While You Were Suing YouTube

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  • Nicole Richie reportedly fainted during a shopping trip last week. It’s unclear what made her faint; a lack of food, or the store’s shocking! low low prices.
  • Kelsey Grammer won another Emmy on Wednesday, upping his impressive Emmy vs. Fans total to 5-1.
  • A woman accused of stalking John Cusack for 18 months denies the claim. By following him around and standing outside his window uninvited, she was merely doing her best impression of the actor, not stalking him.
  • Matthew McConaughey’s car is up for auction on eBay. Marijuana in glove compartment sold separately.
  • Haley Joel Osment was hospitalized after crashing his 1995 Saturn into a brick wall at 1 a.m. today. Bloggers urged to forego making “I see dead people” jokes and instead focus on the fact the Oscar nominee drives an 11-year-old Saturn.
  • Maddox Jolie-Pitt has been voted the cutest celebrity child. Man, this is not Haley Joel’s day, is it?

…Of The Day

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  • 100% NOT GAY: Oprah & Gayle. Don’t believe them? Then just watch this clip of Gayle on The View. (ifilm)
  • EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT: The Paris Hilton sex doll. I thought this came out already… it’s called Paris Hilton. (Popbytes)
  • WORSE IDEA THAN ROCKY 6: HIV Positive boxer Tommy “Gun” Morrison from Rocky V wants to fight “Iron” Mike Tyson from Mike Tyson’s Punchout. There will be no winners. (Deadspin)
  • MANNY: Britney’s got a new one. The woman goes through Mannys like cans of Red Bull. (Blog NYC)
  • SUMMER SHOW: If you’re in NY, check out the UCB’s Theatre In The Park tonight, starring Paul Scheer, Rob Huebel and a whole slew of others. Wackiness will most certainly ensue. (Paul Scheer)