Hip-Hop’s Top Brand Name-drops of 2005

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mercedeshiphop.jpgWith Jay-Z issuing a gag order on Cristal, rap music’s beloved baubles of big pimpin’ are becoming increasingly difficult to determine. Luckily, Agenda Inc. did us the favor of sorting through all the death threats, drug references, financial bragging and sexul suggestion of last year’s top Billboard tracks to prepare the following report on the top ten most name-checked brands in music:

TOP TEN MOST-MENTIONED BRANDS OF 2005

10. AK-47, 33 mentions
9. (tie) Cristal, 35 mentions
9. (tie) Louis Vuitton, 35 mentions
7. Chevrolet (really?), 40 mentions
6. Hennessy, 44 mentions
5. Rolls Royce, 46 mentions
4. Bentley, 51 mentions
3. Cadillac, 62 mentions
2. Nike, 63 mentions
1. Mercedes-Benz, 100 mentions

Unsurprisingly, athletic shoes, expensive booze, automatic weaponry and luxury cars have proven themselves to be the most sought-after fortunes of rap fame. We did some research of our own, and have produced a list of the 10 LEAST mentioned brand names after the jump!

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ICYMI: Spade’s All Showbiz, Very Little Show

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This was bound to happen. Once David Spade started showing up in tabloids dating Heather Locklear you knew his patented celebrity snarkness was in danger. How could he dig on the tabloids and make fun of celebrities when he, himself, was being considered a celebrity? The whole foundation of The Showbiz Show was in danger… and judging by this clip from the season finale, it looks like it came a-crumbling-down. Here’s David participating in an American Idol bit with Anthony Kiedis and Kellie Pickler. It’s so lame it makes you wonder what David Spade would say about it if, you know, he wasn’t all Hollywood now. *Sigh*

ICYMI: Woody Goes Wild

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woody.jpgThe video’s been up since Friday, but In Case You Missed It we wanted to direct you to this footage obtained by TMZ of Woody Harrelson choking a photographer. It’s angriest a former cast member of Cheers has been since the time George Wendt was told his favorite all you can eat buffet was closing early. That wasn’t pretty.

Now, while I think the photographer deserved his smack down, I also think somebody’s gotta get Woody some new weed. Isn’t marijuana supposed to calm you down? I guess he’s the paranoid type.

Watch the video here.

Lindsay Does Her Best X-tina Impression

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Bending over in a black bikini bottom is the new Nip-Slip. You heard it here first people. I wonder who’s going to get on board next: Ashlee? Jessica? Britney? Well, whoever it is, this is one trend that I’ll gladly get behind. Ha. Ha. Get behind? Get it? Ahhhh.

For a ton of great Lindsay pics, head over to WWTDD today. Seriously. You won’t regret it.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: The Devil Doesn’t Wear Tights

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superman.returns.063006.jpg1. The box office powers of Superman Returns seemed practically invincible, but like an unforseen Lex Luthor scheme, a little movie about fashion magazines was the kryptonite that kept the man of steel from really flying – $52.2 million

2. Watch out comic book moviesAnne Hathaway’s breasts could end up becoming the most feared box office supervillians of them all – $27 million

3. Despite all Adam Sandler’s crazy voices and farting and falling down gags, this one really just didn’t click – $19.4 million

4. Unlike my Honda, this movie just…won’t…die$14 million

5. I did a lot of stuff over the 4-day weekend, but for whatever reason, seeing a movie about Jack Black’s ill-fitting tights and generic Mexican accent just didn’t up being one of them – $6.2 million

It’s July 5th; What’s up?

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tommy lee.jpgApparently if you’re a washed-up rock star you can’t just form a band with other washed-up rock stars anymore. Nowadays you have to make a reality show about forming a band with other washed-up rock stars, which explains why Tommy Lee, the old bass player from Metallica, and one of the old guitarists from Guns ‘N Roses (not Buckethead, sadly) signed on for Rock Star: Supernova. Fifteen singers will compete to be the next Vince Neil/ James Hetfield/ Axl Rose– a thought that’s scary in and of itself. The series should be fun to watch, though, as I’d imagine these guys will end up pulling much hotter groupies than the INXS dudes from last season. You know I’ll be watching.

Also on tonight- America’s Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, Blue Collar TV, and a bunch more. What are YOU watching? Vote now!

While You Were Watching the Firecrotchworks

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  • Lil’ Kim, fresh out of her lil’ stint in prison, reportedly gained a lil’ weight while she was in the can. In Kim’s defense, the food probably is pretty good there – and who really has the time to exercise?
  • Terrance Howard, whose next role is a swimming coach for a team of troubled teens, is clearly a student of the Cuba Gooding Jr./Samuel L. Jackson School of Post-Oscars Career Destruction Through Boring, Feel-Good Film Choices.
  • Mariah Carey says she will only eat things that are purple. Look, just because you were drunk at a party and tried to make a brazen pass at Prince and his purple package, doesn’t mean you need to lie about your entire diet.
  • According to Page Six (8th item), Kathy Hilton, probably deep into her 6th vodka-xanax martini during her party in the Hamptons this past weekend, mistook Bryant Gumbel for Star Jones’ husband Al Reynolds while greeting the recently-departed host of The View. Gumbel was a little offended, but kept reassuring himself by saying, “at least she wasn’t talking about Al Roker“.
  • Enron’s Ken Lay, who was facing life in prison for his part in one of the biggest corporate frauds in US history, died this past weekend from a heart attack. I know all dogs go to heaven, but what about all rich corporate crooks who made their fortunes by robbing hard-working Americans? Where do they go?

Best of the Best Week Ever: Star Wars

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  • Star Jones’ utterly unsurprising exit from The View was the first shot fired in a bloody gansta-style publicity shootout that included Barbara Walters bashing Star on the next morning’s show, and Star returning fire by whining about it to whoever would listen. By the end of it, nobody died and nobody cared.
  • Tori Spelling pays fond tribute to her late father’s legacy by exploiting him just one last time.
  • Speaking of, weren’t you wondering whatever happened to the rest the West Beverly High gang? Then drop in on our 90210 Ten-Year Class Reunion!
  • Nude pregnant meltdown Britney Spears or nude smoking hot Christina Aguilera? You make the call!
  • Rush Limbaugh publicly smooching Chloe from 24 has sent us into a hellish introspective nightmare of such reality-crushing proportions that we’re either going to spend the rest of our lives in intensive psychotherapy, or do a bunch of acid and convert to Scientology. We still haven’t decided.
  • Joe Rogan ain’t got sh*t on Fear Factor, Maury Povich-style.
  • Save yourself a whole lot of time, money and hacky plot lines by appreciating the wide range of comedic genius Adam Sandler has shown himself to be capable of.
  • Have a Happy 4th – and don’t forget to stumble your way through the holiday weekend after playing our Shuffling iPods Drinking Game.

Shuffling Towards the Weekend Drinking Game!

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shuffledrinking.JPGIn our endless quest to discover new and exciting ways to make your life more fun, we’ve come up with a saucy new spin on our beloved Shuffling Towards the Weekend feature. See, there’s only one thing we love more than shuffling our iPods and sharing the resulting 5 five songs, and that thing is booze. So in a moment of inspired drunken genius, we’ve developed a fun way to combine our two great loves into one awesome drinking game. Best part is you can play with friends or (if you’re like us and tend to do most of your drinking alone while surfing the Internet) all by yourselves! See how the game works after the jump, then knock yourselves out with it (maybe literally). But don’t forget to post your first five resulting songs in the comments section so people without iPods can play along too!

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ICYMI: Star Jones Is Sympathetic

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How could anybody not love Star Jones? She’s so beautiful and sweet and she’s such a victim. The poor woman has been through so much… how could you not feel bad for her? Especially with the way she’s been treated by the people over at the View. I mean, the nerve. Watch this clip from the Today show and feel bad for her, people. Feel very, very bad for her.

Poor woman. Poor, poor woman.