Now that Sumner Redstone has given him his walking papers, Tom Cruise has to find himself a new job – and fast! Luckily, DoubleViking has pointed to this Worth 1000 Photoshop Contest that features a few pretty good career-path suggestions for Tom now that he’s no longer capable of acting in any roles that don’t involve crazy-eyed ranting about the dangers of medicine.
Hilary Duff is the latest celebrity to turn her inexplicable fame into a brand of fashion and beauty products aimed at teen girls still foolish enough to think she’s worth emulating. Your friends here at BWE have already tracked down the first ad for her new fragrance (click thumbnail to see it), so what do you think? A splash behind the ears before a hot date, or a spray in the face for date rapists?
Personally, there’s only one Duff I want to smell like:
You know the term “Some men get better with age”? We’re pretty sure Hugh Laurie, Evvy AwardÂ© Winner for “Emmy’s Sexiest Man”, is one of those guys. Check out this 1986 Polaroid commercial, where a less scruffy, almost Saget-esque Laurie tries his best to instantly capture the soul-baring pain of a struggling actor.
(Video via Popwatch)
In honor of the VMA’s tonight, Cracked put together a list of the 5 Most Absurd Moments in VMA history. I’m not sure why narrowed it down to five– the list could be much, much longer– but they pretty much hit the nail on the head. Especially with their inclusion of R. Kelly’s epic, unforgettable performance of “Trapped In The Closet” (below). If you’ve never seen it, be warned: you’ll never, ever, ever be the same again.
So what was your favorite VMA moment?
Jessica (thankfully) still doesn’t have a voice, which means this photoshop contest (thankfully) still isn’t over. Call it a win-win.
Since we’ve gotten so many great submissions, we’re going to give away a prize to our favorite one at the end of the day. So email your photoshops now to firstname.lastname@example.org; the winner gets an original F*ck Stereogum T-shirt.
So click below to get the picture to work with and check out some of the best ones we’ve gotten so far. Good luck!
Look, I really don’t see what the big deal is here. So John Travolta is boarding his private jet while planting a strong, powerful man-kiss onto the mouth of some dude with a desperate passion known only to wives whose husbands have been away at war for six or seven years. Form your own conclusions, but this is the 90′s, you know – things are different now. Also, he’s a Scientologist.
One question, though – in the highly unlikely circumstance that John Travolta were to be gay, would he be considered a bear?
(pic via ONTD)
- 50 Cent is looking to duet with Elton John. In a related story, 2 Live Crew is still sitting by the phone, waiting for Celine Dion to call back.
- While you may never actually lay eyes on Suri Cruise, one artist is finally giving America a sculpture of what it really wants to see: Suri’s Bronzed Baby Poop. We poop you not.
- Waaaaaay before Jennifer Aniston weddorced Brad Pitt, way before she was earning the GDP of Pakistan for each episode of Friends, way before her hairstyle was a point of national and international intrigue, Jennifer Aniston wore Mom Jeans.
- Posh Spice claims she is just the girl next door. Assuming you live in a Prostitute Cul-de-Sac.
- Today’s Award for Worst Pun Headline goes to The Sun, who reports that the lovely Ms. Paltrow has gone Gwyn-dow Shopping.
It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, August 30th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including Bones, Rockstar, and Project Runway!
- FUN FACT: Over the course of their lifetime, British women spend 2 1/2 years on their hair. And 45 minutes on their teeth. (Daily Mail)
- WELCOME TO THE PROS: Your pro-athlete career really begins when you start fathering kids out of wedlock. Shawn Kemp, watch your back– Paris’ ex-bf Matt Leinart has gotten off to a fast start. (Deadspin)
- BABY MAMMA DRAMA: Nicole Kidman’s rep accused photo agencies of manipulating photos to make the actress look pregnant… yet somehow still uninteresting. (MSNBC)
- POLITICAL STRATEGY: Simply put: Before he ran for govenor in 1980, Jerry Springer had sex with a prostitute. And he paid her with a check. And people found out about it. So he made a commercial. And not only did he admit to it, he tried to spin it. And here it is. And… wow. (Gorillamask)
- NEW REASON TO HATE ENTOURAGE: Worse than firing Ari and worse than Kevin Connolly’s acting– K-Fed is joining the cast for 3 episodes. Lloyd!!!! (IDLYITW)
Everybody’s giving CNN’s Kyra Phillips a hard time for leaving her mic on during Bush’s speech yesterday. But lest we forget, this has happened once before.
That was straight from the files of Police Squad, naturally. Naturally.