ICYMI: Tyra Banks and Nicole Richie At The $1 Store

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If the title sounds too good to be true, it isn’t. During yesterday’s mind-blowingly numbing episode of The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra shows Nicole Richie how non-biracial people roll: At the 99 Cent Store. It’s Nicole Richie’s Room 101 (as evidenced by her horrified expression), and makes for cringeworthy viewing. From Tyra pretending to use .99 moisturizer (uch, she reeks of Creme de la Mer, puh-lease), to the elderly racist white woman, to the “Humane Society” expression on the poor cashier’s face, it’s like Upton Sinclair‘s The Jungle meets Phat Girlz. i.e. Enjoy.

Not All Kazakh Men Are Like Borat, Just The Funny Ones

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SachaBaronCohenPA_228x395.jpgWith Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan on its way, Sacha Baron Cohen has once again upset the glorious nation of Kazakhstan. So much so, in fact, that the President of Kazakhstan will fly to the US to talk to President Bush about how Borat makes his country look stupid. Flying across the world to talk about a fictional movie character, however, doesn’t make them look stupid at all. Not at all.

The White House visit may be justified, though. According to a Central Asian Affairs Fellow, Borat is the biggest thing to come out of Kazakhstan since… ever.

“I have found that more Americans are aware of Kazakhstan than four years ago when I last lived in the United States. The increased knowledge of Kazakhstan, however, is not due to the country’s economic successes or its role as a U.S. ally in the war on terror. Instead, most Americans who have heard of Kazakhstan have heard of it through a satire of a Kazakh journalist named Borat.”

Congratulations Borat. We ignorant Americans can’t wait to learn more about your glorious nation come November.

The Office Meets Your Phone: Listen to Dwight’s Voicemail!

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Dwight.JPGYesterday, the marketing geniuses at NBC released two separate DVD packages of The Office: Season 2 (worth every cent), and a special edition The Office: Severance Package, which includes both Seasons 1 and 2, as well as some Dunder Mifflin promotional desk items (like… post-it notes). It always bothers us when media congloms try to milk the American public out of all their money with these “special edition” packages, like re-releasing movies with “extra” bonus footage. We already owned Season 1 — and while we would love to sign away our souls with a shiny new Dunder Mifflin pen, we couldn’t bring ourselves to purchase it.

Especially when the best part of the “Severance Package” set is something that can be shared with people for free! When your boss isn’t looking, pick-up your phone and call Dwight Schrute at 1-(800)-984-DMPC (or 3672 for the tarded). We promise: It’s worth it.

And if you don’t plan on shelling out the cash for any of the DVD’s? (Big mistake)? You can catch the blooper reel online – Part I and Part II. Still want more?! Dwight’s blog here. 8 more days til season 3!

CAPTION THIS: 700 Club to Mars

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Fashion Week pairs up a lot of random celebs, but this shot of Jesus Freak Baldwin and Sad Little Leto is particularly baffling. Leave your thoughts and captions in the comments.

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ICYMI: LonelyGirl Knew About 9/11

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Last week, YouTube users learned that their beloved LonelyGirl15 was actually an actress from New Zealand (and if you have no clue what I’m talking about, read about it here.) Fans who thought they really “knew” LonelyGirl were shocked that they could be deceived by such an innocent, trusting woman. Well, as it turns out LonelyGirl was more than just part of a “new art form”… much, much more.

Wow. I just didn’t see this one coming, did you?

While You Were Smoking Cigars With K-Fed

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  • Britney Spears did, in fact, give birth to a baby boy early Tuesday morning. Britney is ecstatic about the new addition to the family, and looks forward to trying to maim him in the near future.
  • Russell Crowe is holding a tribute concert for fellow Aussie and friend Steve Irwin. Paul Hogan, Nicole Kidman and Yahoo Serious are expected to attend, for obvious reasons.
  • Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay was arrested for fighting with paparazzi outside a nightclub. Reports have yet to indicate whether there were any real celebrities inside.
  • Axl Rose has been delaying the release of Chinese Democracy for years because he doesn’t want to release a bad album. He prefered to release a bad album with a lot of hype instead.
  • Joe Francis, creator of Girls Gone Wild, has been fined $2.1 million for failing to document the ages of the women in his videos. He couldn’t believe that the court doesn’t consider “If there’s grass on the field, Play Ball!” a valid system.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, September 12th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, September 12th! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Big Brother, Dancing With the Stars, and Nip/Tuck!

…OF THE DAY

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  • GEEK NEWS: Now you can stop downloading movies illegally from torrent sites, and pay 14 bucks for them on iTunes. Yay! (Apple)
  • DARTH KIEFER: Celebrated character actor James Cromwell joins the cast of 24 as Jack Bauer’s father. Jack’s daddy issues should make the show even more fast-paced. (TV Squad)
  • PUNK’D DRUNK: Richard Branson, once again showing us all exactly why he’s the “rebel billionaire”, pulled a pretty hilarious prank on Paris Hilton at his son’s recent birthday party. (MSNBC)
  • PREVIEW TO YOUR REVULSION: Now you can see an exclusive sneak-peak clip of Zach Braff’s latest navel-gazing pretentiousness in The Last Kiss. I recommed watching it with Jared Leto’s whiny music playing along in the background! (ComingSoon)
  • PERV PARTROL: Some dude put up a fake ad pretending to be a woman soliciting sex on Craigslist, then posted all 150+ responses – including real pictures, names and contact info – on his blog, which has now been seen by hundreds of thousands of people. Ouch. (BoingBoing)