Dr. Laura Like You’ve Never Wanted To See Her Before

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drlaura.JPGIf there’s one thing we hate, it’s hypocrisy. So when Dr. Laura Schlessinger, better known as the radio’s “Dr. Laura”, goes ahead and calls the typical American woman a slut… well, we stop playing “7 Minutes in Heaven” long enough to be offended. According to Page Six, Dr. Laura’s new book accuses women of selling themselves short, demanding that we at least be given a proper meal before going down on a stranger:

Now it is difficult to find the male who values virginity, purity and innocence when females dress like babes and perform oral sex and intercourse without even having to be fed dinner . . . Who cares about vows – after all, why buy the cow when the milk is free.

Yes. Indeed. Why buy the cow, when the milk is so slutty and free. In fact, if any gentlemen out there were interested in purchasing Dr. Laura, think again. Because that bitch’s milk is not only free, it’s plastered all over the internet. Get the children out of the room, lock your doors, and get ready to be scarred for life: Nude photos taken of Dr. Laura back in the 1970′s are only a Google search away. We could’ve linked you directly, but seriously, the pics are the definition of Noontown, U.S.A. And unless your celebrity vagina looks like corned beef in a paper shredder, we’re not interested.

Guess the Breasts!

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This is some pretty hot cleavage. Anyone care to guess the owner of these kickin’ curves? The answer, along with the greatest nip slip of all time, can be found after the jump.

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Project Runway: Suck My Cocktail Dress

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PRLaura1.JPGMany reality shows like the throw clever brooms in the plotline cogs, twists and turns that could somehow manipulate the outcome of the winner. Producers usually invent smart enough reasons for such plot devices. Which is why last night on Project Runway, when Heidi Klum reintroduced Vincent and Angela back into the competition, we were expecting a reasonable explanation. They could have blamed the shuffling on Keith‘s preemptive ousting, or perhaps the Parisian time difference. Instead, Heidi explained that the judges wanted to make sure they were choosing the most deserving designers into the final four slots. That also meant that three designers would be eliminated. But let’s be honest, eh? There is no way Vincent and Angela would be in the top four. The real reason for the shuffling was that there was little to no conflict between the remaining designers, i.e. no salt no pepper. Angela and Vincent were not brought back as designers, rather drama inducers. That being said, let’s take a look at the challenge. (/rant)(/html humor)

Last night’s challenge was to design a black and white dress. (a-SNOOZE) Seriously, another dress? Is this some sort of Heidi-Uli-German conspiracy? Don’t get me wrong, I love Uli, but if I have to see another rope halter, I hope it’s the one I hang myself with.

A recap of the episode’s winners and losers after the jump!

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ICYMI: Rosie Is An E.L. Fudge Packer

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A lot of people questioned Rosie O’Donnell’s motives when she took Meredith’s position on The View. Why was she returning to daytime TV? What did she have to prove? Was she doing it for the money? The fame? The notoriety? No. Apparently she was doing it for the cookies. Cookies so great that they inspire her to sing and dance. We’re not kidding.

Oh, The View. As amazing as ever.

Lord of the Suburbs

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theshire.jpgPop Candy points us to a housing development in Bend, Oregon called The Shire, whose name and concept were taken from the famous Hobbit dwelling-place in Lord of the Rings. Who needs stucco and vinyl siding when you can live in a “Swordsman” townhome next door to Merry Brandybuck and Gandalf the Wizard? Just be careful about getting too close to the home of conspicuously same-sex roommates Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee – ever since they got home from their “big adventure”, there have been several reports of strange late-night sounds coming from their hobbit-hole. Apparently their “fellowship” is still very strong.

It’s Official: Men Are Smarter Than Women (Deal With It)

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ron burgandy.jpgI’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.

When Ron Burgundy shouted out those lines in Anchorman, you probably laughed, didn’t you? Well, according to a new study conducted by a British researcher, Ron… was right.

A controversial new study has claimed that men really are more intelligent than women. The study – carried out by a man – concluded that men’s IQs are almost four points higher than women’s.

What do you think about this; could it be true? Are men really smarter than women? Could K-Fed, Steve-O and Jason from Laguna Beach really be smarter than Paris, Jessica and Heidi from The Hills? Apparently the answer is yes. And we couldn’t be more terrified.

While You Were Contemplating Retirement

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  • Britney Spears and K-Fed are rumored to have named their new baby Sutton Pierce Federline. They’re really holding on tight to those SPF initials, aren’t they?
  • Jay-Z is coming out of retirement to release a new CD. The CD will be titled “I’m Retiring Again… Now!”, and will be topical and timely until his inevitable return in 2009.
  • Jennifer Aniston has topped People magazine’s annual Best Dressed list. However, just to knock her down a few pegs, they named Angelina Jolie “Best Undressed”.
  • Paris Hilton is all set to hit up Oktoberfest in Germany. She’s looking forward to the opportunity to drink a lot and act stupid for a change… in Germany.
  • Lifelong Yankees fan Jack Nicholson refused to wear a Red Sox cap in his new film. No joke here; we just included this to remind you that Jack Nicholson is the f**king man.

…Of The Day

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  • MAKING HER POINT: Paris Hilton proved stars really are blind (and not very picky) by making out with Travis Barker. (Egotastic)
  • MURDERER: CNN’s Nancy Grace straight up killed a bitch. Well, okay, maybe not “straight up”… but kinda/sorta. (Breitbart)
  • HITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD: Here’s a list of five comedians who have lost it. And yes, don’t worry, Eddie Murphy is included. (Cracked)
  • SAVE THE DATE: If you’re a freshman in college, you need this list of the important dates to remember. Make sure you commit these to memory… especially November 10th. (Collegehumor)
  • CELEBRITY TRANSLATOR: The Daily Show teaches us how Bush’s speeches would be so much more enjoyable if Little Richard was there. We couldn’t agree more. (YouTube)