Stay Classy, Tori Spelling

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spellingusmagazine.jpgEven though her father Aaron Spelling’s corpse has yet to cool, Tori Spelling wasted no time in exploiting his death to land her first magazine cover since the August 1992 issue of Teen People. Fanning whatever flames of tabloid relevance her father’s passing has given her by granting a pseudo-confessional interview to Us Weekly (what could be more tasteful?), Tori seems to be going out of her way to publicly sensationalize the family dysfunction surrounding her father’s death, which was less than a week ago. I’m sure that, upon receiving the “bad news” text message on her BlackBerry, Tori immediately got her publicist on the phone and started brainstorming ways in which they might be able to get some press out of this. In a strange way it’s sort of fitting that, even in death, Tori is still using her father to get famous.

5 Good Reasons For Chloe To Date Rush

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chloe rush.jpgAs a huge fan of 24, the pictures that surfaced yesterday of Mary-Lynn Rajskub, a.k.a. Chloe locking lips with Rush Limbaugh upset me. I mean, over the past few seasons I’ve seen this woman go through a lot: I’ve seen her suffer through her best friend’s death, I’ve seen her kill a man, I’ve seen her thwart countless terrorist attacks, and I’ve seen her get reamed out by Jack Bauer on more than one occasion. So by this point in life I figured I’d be able to handle whatever Mary-Lynn threw at me. Well, I was wrong.

The Rush photos have upset me deeply. How could Chloe lower herself like this? This is worse than if I were to find out she was in kahootz with Habib Marwan during Season 4. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, though, so I decided to make a list of 5 good reasons Chloe would date Rush Limbaugh. Here we go.

1. Um
2. Hmm. Well… uh
3. You know, some girls… no, nevermind.
4. Because… wait, what was the question?
5. Pass.

Okay, that didn’t go the way I was hoping it would. Sorry Chloe, I don’t even think Jack Bauer, Bill Buchanan or Sean Astin (before he bit the dust) could help you with this one. I’m just going to cross my fingers and hope the clock is ticking.

It’s June 29th; What’s up?

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devito.jpgLeslie Nielsen. Tim Meadows. Kathy Najimy. No, it’s not the lineup for the next Surreal Life (unfortunately), those are some of the contestants playing The Feud on tonight’s season finale of Gameshow Marathon. I’ll be tuning in for two reasons: (1) Nielsen’s a god, and (2) I’m pretty sure watching this show counts as charity work, so count me in!

If you’re in the mood for a less traditional gameshow tonight, head on over to CBS for Master of Champions. If you’re in the mood for a less traditional gameshow that prominently features Sean “Diddy” Combs, then you should watch Making The Band 3. Or if you’re in the mood for Danny DeVito’s return to TV (and be honest: who isn’t in the mood for that???), check out It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia on FX. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

While You Were Oh So Close To A Long Weekend

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  • Tommy Lee & Josh Duhamel got into a scuffle at Bella nightclub in LA. This is so out of character for Tommy; I’m not used to him hitting men.
  • Britney Spears is so worried about her parenting skills she’s moving back in with her mother. Yeah, because her mom did such a wonderful job.
  • The jury has been selected for Michael Jackson’s latest trial. This is significant, as the number of jurors he’s dealt with in his lifetime has now officially passed the number of fans.
  • Luke & Laura will reunite on General Hospital. Your mom is totally psyched.
  • Hootie & The Blowfish will launch a 10-city concert series to help collect school supplies for children. Concert attendees are urged to bring some supplies for the children and some sandwiches for the band. They’re hungry.
  • The curtains are closing early on Toronto’s Lord of the Rings musical. No matter. Mom was waiting outside in the station wagon anyway.

Best Night Ever: Thursday, June 28th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, June 28th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night TV, including Blue Collar TV, So You Think You Can Dance?, and America’s Got Talent!

…Of The Day

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  • BIRTHDAY: Lindsay Lohan turned 45 today. I think. (Blog NYC)
  • BIGGEST MOVIE COMING OUT THIS WEEK: Gay Superman Returns. (Daily Ramblings via Defamer)
  • SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Britney & Ursula from The Little Mermaid. The similarities are shocking. (Cityrag)
  • AGREEABLE SONG TITLE: “F**k Jamie Kennedy” (Celebutaint)
  • RAPPING ROCK STAR: Mike Skinner, a.k.a. The Streets. Not only does he sport some mean bling, the man loves to get his audience drunk. That’s a rock star. (The Modern Age)

The Beverly Hills 90210 Ten Year Class Reunion

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fullcast.jpgWith the passing of Aaron Spelling and his prolific TV legacy, we thought it would be appropriate to remember a show Spelling both co-created and used to introduce the world to the acting talents of daughter Tori: Beverly Hills, 90210. This seminal high school soap opera took an unflinching look at social issues from gun violence to AIDS to apartheid, all set within the priviliged-but-melodramatic turmoil of America’s most exclusive zip code. Since most of the original cast left the show between 1994 and 1998, we decided to split the difference and celebrate the would-be 10-year class reunion of West Beverly High School with the following “then and now” look at some it’s most notable alumni.

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Name: Dylan McKay/Luke Perry

Then: The personification of early-90′s cool, Dylan McKay might have been West Beverly’s most complicated, tortured individual. Equal parts unwilling object of affection and self-destructive loner, Dylan’s myriad struggles included domestic dilemmas, romantic turmoil, substance abuse struggles and countless other personality conflicts that somehow just made him all the more mysteriously desiriable.

Read more…

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • I got a bunch of Nelly Furtado lined up for you today. Get ready. First up, head over to iPop and download “All Good Things Come To An End” featuring Coldplay’s Chris Martin.
  • Next up we have The Late Greats presenting their Guilty Pleasures. “Promiscuous” is there along with two more Nelly tracks.
  • Moving along. Shoes Are For Work has posted Nelly’s cover of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” They ALSO posted Gnarls’ cover of “Gone Daddy Gone”, as well as the Violent Femmes original. Follow? Good. Let’s move on.
  • Now that that’s over, visit The Perm & The Skullet to download Lou Reed’s “Coney Island Baby” before the reissue comes out in August.
  • And finally, as a lifelong baseball fan I want to wish Peter Gammons and his family the best as he recovers from a brain anyeurism. The 61-year-old sporswriter is a huge music fan who even has his own CD coming out next week. Today Metro Distortion posted some mp3s from a list Gammons made of the Top 20 Songs on his iPod during Spring Training. The guy loves Tom Petty, Pearl Jam, Editors and Pete Yorn. Now how cool is that? Get well soon Peter.

It’s June 28th; What’s up?

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blade.jpgOkay, I’ll be honest: I missed the whole Blade thing. Something about Wesley Snipes and Stephen Dorff fighting vampires or being vampires or being vampires while fighting vampires– sorry, just didn’t do it for me. I laughed at the posters when the first movie came out and I remember being shocked that they made a sequel (or two? I have no idea.) So you can imagine my surprise that the Blade series is now being spun off into a TV show on Spike. Should be interesting. I may give it a try– hey, if they could make Buffy The Vampire Slayer a great show I guess anything is possible.

Also on tonight: Jacques Cousteau’s son is messing with sharks on CBS, people are attempting to dance on Fox, and Criss Angel is freaking some more minds on A&E. So what are you watching tonight? Vote now!

PROPPED: Press Release For Anne Hathaway’s Breasts

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annehathaway4.jpgIt used to be that performers were the only people in Hollywood who truly required the services of an agent. But in today’s celebrity-obsessed marketplace, the business interests of everything from famous newborns to celebrity body parts have to be looked after by a professional team of agents, publicists, stylists and managers. For example, reader TheJay dropped this recent press release, sent out on behalf actress Anne Hathaway’s breasts, and the latest developments in their promising career. I don’t know about you, but I’ve recently found myself wondering what the “Hathaway Twins” have been up to and when I’m going to get to see them again. Please, in the interest of public breast awareness, keep dropping off the awesome links!