Now that he no longer has a smoking hot wife or successful music career to worry about, Nick Lachey is doing his part to make sure that date rapists smell good by starring in this ridiculous commercial for Axe Body Spray, which has built it’s entire brand around the mistaken belief that smelling like glorified air fresheners called “Mojo” will make women want to sleep with you:
1. As usual, Pixar picks our pockets – $31.1 million
2. It’s Jack Black. And he’s in tights. And he has a moustache and a funny Mexican accent. But dude, Napoleon Dynamite was sort of awesome before everyone ran the jokes into the ground. No? I mentioned the tights, right? Fine, we’ll just rent something then – $27.5 million
3. If only these tricked out rice rockets had been given a decent plot, hilarious celebrity voices and CGI animation instead of neon rims, turbo spoilers and Lil Bow Wow – $24.1 million
4. Last time Keanu and Sandra hooked up onscreen, it involved a maniacal plot to send a bus hurtling towards disaster. This was sort of like that, except less literally – $13.6 million
5. This just isn’t working out. It’s not you, it’s me. You know what, it actually is you – $9.5 million
Desperate single women, an angry d-head chef, and a couple of shows about cars– it must be Monday night.
If you missed How To Get The Guy last week, I recommend you set aside an hour tonight to get on board with the show. It’s… a trainwreck. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. The show features four single thirty-something women, each one undateable for a variety of reasons, and each one looking to find a decent man in San Francisco by any means necessary. Watching these women learn how to flirt, awkwardly approach men in bookstores, and attend speed-dating seminars leaves you uncomfortable and intrigued all at the same time. It’s truly bizarre. Watch it, and let me know what you think.
Besides HTGTG, I’ll be watching Hell’s Kitchen, The Real World / Road Rules Challenge, and Fast Inc. tonight (it’s a great show, and I don’t even like cars!) What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!
I would like formally apologize to all celebrity publicists : I had no idea how much you do. Generally speaking, I always thought being a celebrity publicist was a job a chimp could handle: stick by the celebrity’s side, bang on things and make a lot of noise whenver the star is talking. But now that it’s been revealed that Britney Spears was publicist-less during her Dateline Interview with Matt Lauer, I realize I grossly underestimated publicists’ enormous contributions to society. The interview was a shocking example of what we could be exposed to on a regular basis, if publicists were nevermore. Read more…
- DJ AM moves on from Nicole Richie, with an new girlfriend. Hopefully, she shares his passion for getting engaged.
- Mischa Barton’s new boyfriend, Cisco Adler, is broke… by Brandon Davis standards. By our standards, he’s loaded.
- Cameron Diaz may get a nose job in order to get more work. Few opportunities in Hollywood for gorgeous blonds.
- Grey’s Anatomy’s Katherine Heigel is engaged to a musician. It’s a slow news day.
- Anderson Cooper’s interview with Angelina Jolie was part of package deal with People Magazine. Also for a limited time, available in Happy Meals.
- Britney birthing-in-Namibia rumor is false. Britney birthing in a bucket rumor maybe true.
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, June 18th! Robin Hopkins is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Treasure Hunters, Deadwood, and Entourage!
First of all, the theme of this week’s BWE Drinking Game is “genitalia”. On tonight’s new episode at 11pm, every time you see private parts – as a reference, as an actual thing, on people or meerkats – take a drink and prepare yourself for a difficult next morning.
- Don’t forget to send dad one of our touching Celebrity Father’s Day Cards!
- Relive the agony of Matt Lauer’s crying game with Britney Spears.
- “Rape a baby?”
- Tom to Brangelina: Seriously, “Just look at how much Scientology has done for me!”
- AIDS is so 5 minutes ago.
- George Bush hates blind people.
- Our Celebrity Translator finally figures out what the hell Paris Hilton is babbling about.
- Henry Rollins writes a love song to Ann Coulter.
- Larry the hacky, fraudulent comedian Guy.
In last night’s candid interview with Britney Spears, Matt Lauer pulled out all the stops and did his darndest to MAKE BRITNEY CRY. (audience applause). At first it seemed like no matter what tear-jerking question he asked, she wouldn’t turn on the water-works. But after a few rounds with the Lau-ster, she was puddy in his hands. Ladies and Gents, witness the undefeated tearful-breakdown champion in action. It’s Matt Lauer Makes Them Cry: Britney Edition!
When celebrities sacrifice themselves at the altar of Exclusive Primetime Interviews, it usually means they’ve been taking a bad enough beating in the press that they have no choice but to go on national television and try to convince America that they’re not the freaks we’ve come to think they are. Britney’s tearful carnival of absurdity last night on Matt Lauer is a great example. Sometimes these celebs manage to provide us with enough insight to empathize with their struggles (UPGRADE), while other interviews only confirm their craziness and leave us wondering whether their publicist might need to be put on a suicide-watch (DOWNGRADE). Take a look at these memorable interview pairings, then let us know who comes out clean and who’s dirtier that Sean Preston’s diapers.
Here’s the entire BWE Celebrity Father’s Day Card collection. We have all different types for all different fathers, so find the one that suits your dad the best and send it his way. Our apologies in advance if the Kevin Federline card reminds you of your dad. It must’ve been rough. Anyway, here they are. Happy Father’s Day!