While You Were Celebrating Hump Day on Hump Island

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Best Night Ever: Tuesday, June 20th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, June 20th! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Fear Factor, Last Comic Standing, and Anderson Cooper 360!

…Of The Day

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  • MUSIC VIDEO: Christina Aguilera’s new video is all over YouTube. And for the record, I would not mind being all over Christina. (D-Listed)
  • APPROPRIATE CASTING DECISION: Brittany Murphy as Tinker Bell. I don’t know why, but that makes perfect sense. (Defamer)
  • SUCK IT, GORE: 25 Benefits of Global Warming (Maximonline)
  • SPEAKING OF MAXIM…: Here are the Jessica Simpson Maxim photos you’ve been waiting for. Talk about blue balls. (Egotastic)
  • DOUBLE STANDARD: Madonna cleaned up her act at a recent concert because her father was in attendance. You can’t blame her though; the man has been known to preach. (thank you, I’ll be here all week.) (MSNBC)

SIZZLER: Ryan Seacrest’s Island of Pleasure

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seacrest250.jpgLet me be clear: I’m not nearly as interested in Ryan Seacrest’s sexual orientation as Jay Leno, but I can’t overlook this comment he made in a recent interview he conducted with Vince Vaughn. According to the National Enquirer, Seacrest gushed to Vaughn: “Dude, I’m totally into girls… but you’re at the top of my hump island when it comes to guys!”

But before you jump to conclusions, we did a little research and found that Hump Island is actually a plot of land in Canada’s Northwest Territories. It’s a hotspot for kayakers and features stunning views of the Columbia River. We’re sure Ryan just wants to take Vaughn on a hiking trip to the island’s highest peak, Mounthim Mountain.

Britney’s Rebellion Against Good Music

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britneysad.jpgIf you go over to BritneySpears.com and click on the little bubble that says “Love B”, the troubled singer has posted a repeating stream of her latest pop masterwork, which she is calling “Rebellion”. It sounds sort of like a sped up version of Three 6 Mafia’s, “Hard For a Pimp”, except sung by a depressed housewife who is about 47 hours into a serious crystal meth/crying binge. In a word: “awesome”. Just like her marriage.

How Not To Alienate That Guy From TV

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david cross.jpgIf you’re frequenting this site (and you didn’t get here by randomly googling “firecrotch”, pervert), you’re probably a big fan of celebrities. You may have even, at one point or another, fantasized about what you would say if you ever ran into a celebrity. Or you may have actually approached a celebrity and completely embarrassed yourself because you said the wrong thing. Don’t worry- it happens. Quite often, it seems, according to David Cross’ recent article in New York magazine: Where Do I Know You From? How not to alienate That Guy from TV.

“my first and foremost guideline to dealing with celebrities: If you don’t know who he is, ask your friend. Or a stranger. Don’t ask him. And certainly don’t ask him to keep listing his résumé until you realize he’s the guy from Blade of Innocence 2 who lost his shoe and got killed by the vampire with outer-space AIDS.”

Hey, it happens to the best of us. Even our good friend Lindsay, who actually created a law after approaching David Cross on a booze-fueled night. If only more Americans embraced David’s Law, maybe Mr. Cross and other celebrities would be safe. Maybe. Just maybe…

PROPPED: Paris Parodied

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parisscreencap.JPGAs if Paris Hilton’s video for “Stars Are Blind” wasn’t emotionally scarring enough, reader geoffryg dropped this horrific parody video in which the part of Paris is played by a man with too much hair and not nearly enough clothing. I can’t decide whether it’s more funny or disturbing, but it’s probably worth a look either way. Also, if you missed it the first time, check out our own “pop-slut” parody from a few weeks ago – and keep dropping us this great stuff!

ICMYI: Kate Beckinsdale Is A Super Soaker

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Last weekend on Jay Leno, Kate Beckinsdale inexplicably chose to share a charming anecdote about her abilities to breast feed – sometimes at shockingly great distances. See for yourselves, but maybe not while you’re eating.

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Happy Birthday, Information Leafblower. Head over there now, wish them a happy b-day, and download Cracker’s “Happy Birthday to Me.”
  • The bassist of the Arctic Monkeys quit on the band (a mere 2 months after America did.) Check out Metro Distortion to find out “Who The F*** Are The Arctic Monkeys.”
  • Everything about the Out Hud track BadmintonStamps posted today is huge. The length of the song (11:35) and the title: “Dear Mr. Bush, There Are Over 100 Words For S**t And Only 1 For Music. F**k You, Out Hud.”
  • On Cyprus Ave posted a bunch of tracks today, including songs by The Pipettes, Muse and Regina Spektor.
  • The quality isn’t great, but it’s still worth a listen: The Rocksuckers features The Strokes covering “Take A Walk On The Wild Side.” And the colored girls go do doo do doo do…

Nicotine Water Saves Smokers From Quitting

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nicwater.jpgIt breaks my heart to see smokers quitting because they can’t smoke in public places. Sure the nic fits are twitchy and uncomfortable, but if you really love something you shouldn’t abandon it just because it gets hard. But luckily smoking just got a little easier. A California company just developed NicLite, a brand of bottled water infused with the nicotine of two cigarettes, so you never have to give up what you truly love. Now sold in select airports, these little water bottles are perfect for long flights, restaurants or overnight stays with the parents. And hey, how bad can it be for you? It’s water. (unless it’s unfiltered water, who knows what’s in that?)