I give you the single most genius idea in the History of Cinema…
Natalie Portman: Actress. Sex Symbol. Rapper. World Patrol Kid.
Most people have embarrassing videos from their childhood– luckily, we don’t all have them available for download on the internet. Natalie Portman does.
Before bursting onto the scene in The Professional, Miss Portman was a part of another… er… professional organization: The World Patrol Kids. This group consisted of a few kids whose primary goal was to convince the children of the world that they can make a difference and save our environment. And how did they spread that message? Through singing, dancing, rapping, and through absolutely hilarious music videos. Last Stop: This Town found a bunch of them. You have to download all of them now– and keep your eyes open for a rapping Natalie at 2:12 in during the second one. Her rap totally motivated me to go save some endangered species.
In celebration of
St. Patty’s Day binge drinking yourself into an unholy oblivion with dyed beer, our friends over at CRACKED Magazine have created some handy greeting cards to share with friends, loved ones, and random people you plan on alienating later tonight with your neanderthal-esque behavior.
Call me crazy, but I think I’d enjoy Lost a whole lot more if Drunk Jakey G was running around the island. Wouldn’t you?
This is just one of the many amazing photoshops we’ve already received. Where’s yours? Click here to get the Drunk Jakey G’s to work with, and then email them to:
I’ve included a couple more great submissions below. Remember, the best one gets a prize. So get going.
- According to a poll taken by Diva magazine, Angelina Jolie is the woman most lesbians want to go to bed with. She was also the woman most babies wanted to have as their mommy in Starving Refugee magazine.
- The Beastie Boys say that though they have nothing against Three 6 Mafia, Dolly Parton was robbed at the Oscars. And with that statement, they are now officially old men.
- Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are in negotiations to revive the Speed franchise. This time they will be on a Segway with a bomb and a disabled gyroscope.
- Shaquille O’Neal is expecting a baby girl, and his wife Shaunie Nelson is expecting a really painful delivery. You know, because Shaq is so big.
- Yoko Ono has approved of a Pay-Per-View seance that will attempt to contact John Lennon. This will be a good test as to whether instant kharma really will get you.
ALEX HAD THE BEST NIGHT EVER WATCHING AMERICAN INVENTOR,THE O.C. and THE OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FURTHER PROOF THAT WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF SUBJECTS FOR DOCUMENTARIES: How William Shatner Changed the World on The History Channel. (CNN)
THE ‘I REALLY CAN’T BELIEVE SHE’S ACTUALLY A VIRGIN’ PHOTO GALLERY: Adriana Lima’s April 2006 photo shoot for GQ (Gorillamask)
REAL REALITY TV SHOW MOMENT: Grill catches fire during a cooking show. This moment beats everything Top Chef. (Humping Frog)
BAD NEWS FOR BUSH / GOOD NEWS FOR BUSH: Jessica Simpson blew him off… but apparently "loves the heck out of him." (abc)
LOVE ON THE ROCKS (WITH NO ICE): Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra may be having marriage problems. Is this the next couple that the gossip rags plan on breaking up? Developing… (National Ledger)
MP3: For the second day in a row: The Sopranos Megamix: Do The Malanga! (Download it here)
The Smoking Gun has revealed that Playboy Playmate Nicole Narain–the woman who bedded Colin Farrell by camcorder light–may score $3 Million from an internet porn outfit for her part in the X-rated home movie. The payday hinges on whether she’ll win the case against Farrell and be granted distribution rights.
The way we see it, if Farrell could pocket $8 million for f*cking up bad guys in S.W.A.T, Narain is entitled to at least $3 million for f*cking up Farrell’s career.
Via Boing Boing, I have found the single greatest alarm clock in the history of recorded time.
Oh, how many times I’ve wanted to shoot my alarm clock…
Who is Chico you say? Well, he’s a former goat herder and male stripper and it just so happens he "has sold twice as many records as Madonna in recent weeks to become the first Arab to top the British pop singles chart since records began 44 years ago." From goat herder and male stripper to having the number one single in Britain? Yeah, I think Chico qualifies as a candidate for Best Week Ever.