As you may have heard, Paramount pictures dumped Tom Cruise yesterday. Thankfully, the folks who write newspaper headlines were armed and ready with some corny movie-title puns to walk us through what happened.
I’m disappointed. Cruise made more than four movies, people. Utilize them. Like:
Paramount Days Far & Away
Fired (After) The Fourth Of July
Cruise Cock-Tails It Out Of Paramount
All The Wrong Moves
Tom Loses It For Losin’ It
Tom ‘Taps’ Out
Majority Reports: Get Tom Outta Here!
Tom Gets The Firm Goodbye
A Few Good Men Tell Tom To Go The F**k Away
Show some creativity, headline writers. Please. Now it’s your turn. Leave your Tom gets axed headlines in the comments.
As the wave of frenzy surrounding Snakes on a Plane has finally crested and now rolls its way back to the ocean of pop culture curiosities, we’re left with only the aftermath of this epic Internet phenomenon. For most of us, SoaP will soon be synonymous with other odd-but-now-forgotten cinematic obsessions such as the Ernest Goes To (Blank) movies, Robocop, and Jean-Claude Van Damme. But for one man, Snakes on a Plane Mania will – quite literally – live on forever. Jim Dozier (nicknamed “Doz”) was so enamored with the idea of a film about deadly reptiles loose on a commercial airliner that he had its logo prominently tattooed on his left bicep – before he’d even seen the movie! As this left us utterly baffled, we had no choice but to seek out this amazing specimen of a man and demand an explanation for what could motivate one to do such a seemingly ridiculous thing. We chatted earlier this afternoon via IM, and the transcript of that conversation can be read – nay, studied and extensively contemplated! – after the jump. If you’re as impressed as we were by this man’s bold commitment to unflinching SoaP awesomeness, PLEASE take a moment and vote for Doz to win the Snakes on a Plane #1 Fan Sweepstakes. We’re pretty sure that he’s earned it.
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, August 22nd! Alan Noah is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Breaking Up, Fear Factor, and Work Out!
We proudly present the first BWE.tv Tuesday Afternoon Movie! Every Tuesday, we’ll post a short film from our panelists, friends, and user submissions.
This week, the sketch group Olde English shows us some bonus footage from Project Runway. Enjoy!
Want to submit a movie? Send your short films and sketches to firstname.lastname@example.org.
BWE’s Paul Scheer was one of X amount of people (X= $15.2m/avg ticket price) who saw Snakes On A Plane over the weekend. And like X people, he left with a lot more knowledge about snakes, planes, and snakes on planes than those of us who missed it.
- Snakes are not indigenous to Hawaii.
- Don’t leave your can of Red Bull at a crime scene.
- Snakes can not get into 1st class.
- Always pack a bow and arrow in luggage just in case the hero of your flight needs a weapon while he/she is in the cargo hold.
- Rich British people are assholes.
- The snake guy who lives in the desert is probably up to no good.
- Snakes are attracted to breasts, specifically hot girl’s nipples.
To read what else Paul learned, click here!
The Teen Choice Awards have turned out to be an endless source of amusement. So now, for your viewing pleasure, we present the award for The Dumbest Response To Winning An Award For Being Hot. And the winner is… Orlando Bloom!!!
Well, at least he still comes off better than Dane Cook. And don’t even get us started on K-Fed. Don’t even.
A thorough poster over at Oh No They Didn’t compiled a bunch of celebrity yearbook photos. Most of them were easy to guess, but we had NO idea who the following picture was of until we saw the name. Can you guess who it is? Answer after the jump.
This funny little Deadwood parody video from MADtv comes to us via the pervs over at Double Viking. While I’m usually not the biggest MADtv fan in the world, this sketch is pretty funny (especially if you’re at all familiar with the show it’s based on) and Larry King’s little “insights” made me chuckle more than once. Check it out, c*cks*ckers!