According to MSNBC, murdering football legend Orange Juice Simpson has reportedly been paid 3.5 million dollars to a write a book called If I Did It, described as a “hypothetical” confession of the crimes he “hypothetically” could have committed, including disturbingly accurate “hypothetical” descriptions of the non-hypothetical murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown and her boyfriend Ron Goldman. However, Simpson will not have to worry about a hypothetical scenario in which he would have to share his blood money with the families of the people he hypothetically murdered, as he plans on spending the payment as quickly as possible. We wish The Juice the best as he burns in hell. Hypothetically, of course.
In case you ever forgot, Heidi Klum was always there to remind you: Project Runway was not only a designer showdown, but for the models, it “was a contest for [them] as well.” An incredibly unpaid contest, that is. As reported in US Magazine, Michael Knight‘s model Clarissa Anderson confessed that while the exposure was good, the models were unpaid for their time on the show. And the time commitment involved made taking other jobs/soft-core pornos nearly impossible:
Just doing (Project Runway) and not being able to do other jobs while doing that was hard for me. I had to beg my parents for money because I simply had no income at all. They say, it’s good exposure and everyone’s going to see you; just think of all the jobs you’ll get. I haven’t gotten many jobs because of it — like , none.
Looks like Clarissa is going to have to earn her money the old-fashioned way: Marrying/divorcing old guys. Though in a twisted case of Chinese water torture, the one thing PR producers didn’t skimp on was the catering table, keeping the models “well-fed” through their 12-hour days. Excuse us for a minute… (cough*LOL*cough)
The winner of the challenge was Jeffrey’s model Marilinda, seen left. She always reminded us of a Precious Moments doll, big sad eyes that just love to cry. We were praying for Nazri, Uli’s model, to take it. Nazri = THE FIERCENESS. And that concludes the gayest thing I’ll say today.
I happen to be of the opinion that there are three types of people in the world – people who watch Project Runway (super-social flamboyant types), people who watch Top Chef (Hobbit-like homebodies) and people who don’t watch either of them (joy-hating snores). As a proud member of the Top Chef category, I was embarassingly excited about last night’s premiere of season 2. Especially when I discovered the addition of a mutant with super-human powers in contestant Marcel (some say the new Stephen). This casting twist raises so many questions! Are adamantium knives cheating? If he gets sent home, will they tell him to pack his claws? And worse, will he get angry and slice that smug grin off Tom Colicchio’s face?
You have to love the mainstream media- always jumping on things when they’re HOT!
Yesterday, ABC News reported on this crazy phenomenon involving B-movie actor Chuck Norris. Apparently, there’s a website that generates random “facts” about the man… and oh boy, are they good for a chuckle!
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk, and kill. There is no chin under the Chuck Norris beard, just another fist. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands: They are now known as “The Islands.”
These are just a few of the thousands of Chuck Norris “facts” found on dozens of Internet sites that draw hundreds of millions of hits.
I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna check out these interweb sites lickity split! Thank God we have ABC keeping us up to speed on what the kids are up to nowadays. Be sure to tune into their special report tomorrow about a new social networking site that’s all the rage with teenagers: Friendster.
American fans of Prison Break might now be surprised to learn that the show is a huge hit in France. What will surprise you, we guarantee, is the reason. Not only is the overseas version dubbed, but they have also replaced the opening theme song with their own French rap version (YES, IT EXISTS) “Pas Le Temps” by a band that sounds like a euphemism for diarrhea, Faf Larage. The song is now number one on the French music charts. The video for said song is below, and you might want to cover your face Gallagher-style to block the spittle likely to fly out of your monitor. We think we’ve finally found the one thing both the Bloods and the Crips can agree on: This song sucks! (Am I gonna get murdered now? Probs 2 Def.)
If you missed last night’s finale — do not read this post. Looks like the joke is on us, folks! Last week, the Einstein editors of Project Runway (said without a hint of sarcasm, mind you) led us to believe that Jeffrey would be disqualified for outsourcing the intricate sewing on his final collection. And nothing says “neck-tatted cheat” like a teaser showing Tim Gunn “gathering round” his little duckies and then immediately cutting to Jeffrey crying like a mini-me baby boy.
But as we learned last night, Jeffrey was indeed crying — out of relief! The always elegant Tim Gunn explained that after a thorough review of all of his receipts, all of his stitching is accounted for, although he did go over budge by about $200, which caused him to ditch those creepy Stepford wigs (a blessing in literal disguise.) It was finally the big night, the night when Laura, Michael, Jeffrey and Uli would duke it out for a $100,000 cash prize.
After the jump, a quick recap of the big finale last night… are you happy with the winner?? Or simply shocked?
In honor of this weekendâ€™s Arthur Nights music festival, URGE is giving away an iRiver Clix Media Player. The Festival is curated by Arthur Magazine and will be held this Thursday Oct 19 â€“ Sunday 22 at The Palace Theater in downtown Los Angeles. Artists confirmed to appear are Devendra Banhart, Bert Jansch, Boris, Be Your Own Pet, Sun Ra, Arkestra, White Magic, Comets On Fire, The Fiery Furnaces, and many more…all of them are available on Urge, btw.
So what do you have to do to get your hands on this ridiculous iRiver?
It’s simple: email us. Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org we’ll pick one lucky winner at random tomorrow. What are you waiting for? You have nothing to lose– email us now!
UPDATE: Congratulations Mark from Boston! Enjoy your new iRiver!
The DVD’s aren’t enough; I need something else to remind me what an incredible show Arrested Development was. Something like… G.O.B.’s Segway, which is being auctioned off on eBay right now!
This is GOBâ€™s Titanium colored model HT i167 Segway used in the production of the Twentieth Century Fox Television Program, Arrested Development. The Segway appeared in multiple episodes being ridden by G.O.B. (Will Arnett) and became a signature to his character and is often referred to as â€œG.O.B.â€™s scooterâ€ on the show. G.O.B. is first shown riding the Segway in the Pilot episode.
It’s only $3,500. Small price to pay. Let’s all pool our money together and share it. What do you say? (link via A Whole Lotta Nothing)
- Pete Doherty is furious that Jack Osbourne claims he once kissed Kate Moss. This is incredibly significant, as it marks the first time Pete has made the tabloids for something other than excessive heroin use. Congratulations buddy!
- Stephen Hawking and his wife are divorcing after 11 years . Sources claim that another woman may be involved, proving that only is Hawking much smarter than you, he gets more ass than you do as well.
- A top Kazakh official has invited Sacha Baron Cohen (aka: Borat) to come visit their glorious nation. But only after they build an airport and someplace for visitors to stay other than a barn.
- A leaping stingray jumped on to an 81-year-old man’s boat and stabbed him in the chest. These creatures… must be… stopped.
- “Rocker” Sting thinks rock music today is boring. One more time; that’s STING saying that today’s rock music is boring. Sting. Yep. That one. Sting.
Shea Hess is back with an all new BNE format. She’s here to show you the five best moments on TV for Wednesday night!