ICYMI: Barbara Banishes Star

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If you only take one piece of useful information away from this blog today, let it be this: Nobody– I repeat– NOBODY crosses Barbara Walters! Star Jones: I’ll see you in hell, bitch.

Britney Vs. Christina: The Battle Continues

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Who’d you rather… Britney or Christina? For the past seven years that question has been posed countless times by a ridiculous number of people inquiring about two of the sexiest pop stars of our generation. The comparison was inevitable: both were barely legal blondes when they started out, both released hit single after single, and both of them made watching TRL bearable in the late 90′s (despite Carson Daly), and that’s saying something.

But back to the battle. Throughout the years the general consensus has swayed back and forth. At first it was a pretty even mix, with Britney holding the slight edge. Then as Brit began dancing with snakes and making out with Madonna, a clear winner was crowned. It looked like Christina was doomed to a lifelong second-place finish. But then something happened. Let’s call that something Kevin Federline.

This isn’t news to anybody, but since Britney married her backup dancer a transformation has occurred– the girl has suffered an epic fall (see: her Matt Lauer intv.) Meanwhile, Christina has re-invented herself (again) and is hotter than ever. Recently both have posed nude in magazines. Yes, Britney’s pregnant again and Christina isn’t, but still. Both chose to get naked, so comparisons must be made. Click below to see the photographs side by side and let us know what you think.

Read more…

SIZZL-ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!: Rush & Chloe?

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rushmarylynn.jpgFrom the usually boring and didactic world of political blogs comes this mind-bending tidbit of gossip that is just too bizzare/confusing to possibly ignore. Recent rumors have been circulating that uber-conservative pill-popping radio host Rush Limbaugh, who recently ran into some trouble for possession of unauthorized Viagra, has been dating actress Mary-Lynn Rajskub, better known as “Chloe” from 24. Tongues were set wagging after photographs were taken of Limbaugh affectionately kissing Rajskub during a recent event at the Heritage Foundation. Rajskub, who in the past has been romantically linked to the decidedly liberal likes of David Cross and Jon Brion, is as odd of a match for Rush as one could likely make. But hey, when you’re a soulless right-wing demagogue loaded up on OxyContin and penis pills, who are we to understand what the hell you’re doing?

(tip via Junkiness)

While You Were Saying “How Bazaar”

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  • If there was one thing the Britney Spears gum-smacking, country-talking, loud-blubbering, horrible-looking interview with Matt Lauer left me wanting for, it was seeing this pregnant human tragedy pose naked.
  • No matter what she said yesterday, Star Jones’ departure from The View seems to be surrounded by drama, resentment and cat-fighting. Considering that those are three foundations upon which the entire show is built, I’m not really sure what the big deal is.
  • What’s worse than David Hasselhoff abusing his wife? Having to listen to her sing about it. As they say, abuse only begets more abuse.
  • Naomi Campbell may get a plea deal on the assault charges she’s facing after throwing a cell phone at her maid. The deal is pretty straightforward – either she stops beating her help, or the only clothes she’ll be modeling anytime soon are bright orange jumpsuits, which we all know are SO 1997.
  • Michael Jackson is covering himself in fairy dust, packing his things and leaving Neverland forever – instead choosing to take his Magical Molestery Tour to Europe, where people are still sort of weird enough to appreciate him.

They Did It! They Finally Did It!

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fake cry2.jpgDrunk Dialing. We’ve all done it. We’ve all hated ourselves in the morning for it. Checking your Outgoing Calls after a long night of drinking and seeing call after call to friends, family, and exes that you don’t remember making is one of the worst feelings you can have in the morning. Well, that and the nausea.

For years I’ve been saying that I wish there was a phone that would prevent you from doing this. Well… it looks like my wish has finally been granted.

The LP4100 also allows users to set up the phone so on certain nights and after a certain time they do not call certain people in their phone book. Think ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.

If you have a blood alcohol level over .08, the phone will not let you dial that person. So it not only promotes sobriety, but chastity — and probably your dignity, as well.

Forget about streaming video, daily text alerts and internet access– THIS is the best thing to ever happen to cell phones. A feature that protects me from… me. What more could anybody possibly ask for?

Who else is getting one?

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, June 27th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, June 27th! Michelle is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Rescue Me, Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency, and Last Comic Standing!

…Of The Day

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  • LOADED WEAPON: Rush Limbaugh’s penis. Please make sure it remains on land at all costs. (D-Listed)
  • UNFORTUNATE TRANSFORMATION: Hilary Duff is turning into her sister Haylie. Unlike Ashlee turning into Jessica, this is not a good thing. (Hollywood Rag)
  • SERIOUS QUOTE: “You almost got to be a homosexual to be recognized in the entertainment industry anymore.” - Jerry Falwell. Of course, the only way he was able to get that quote printed was by later announcing he was dating Andy Dick. (Media Matters)
  • ANOTHER REASON TO HATE “BEAUTIFUL”: Now James Blunt is hooking up with Petra Nemcova. Man, I wish I saved all the crappy poems I wrote when I was in the 7th grade and turned them into radio singles… I had no idea they worked. (The Bastardly)
  • DISAPPOINTMENT: Ashlee Simpson turned down a $4 million offer to pose nude in Playboy. Thank God. If she got naked I don’t think we’d be able to take her seriously as an artist anymore. (TMZ)

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Today I booked my flight for my buddy’s bachelor party in Montreal. Also today, The Yellow Stereo posted some rarities and b-sides by Of Montreal. Creeeeeepy.
  • DoCopenhagen has a great mixtape today, featuring bands like Editors, Shout Out Louds, The Streets and more. What are you waiting for? Make it happen.
  • Voxtrot is playing a free show with TV On The Radio in Brooklyn this Friday night. They’re also covering Blondie and the Talking Heads over at Young Poisoner’s Handbook
  • Head over to Recidivism to hear a bunch of white dudes (System Of A Down) team up with the Wu-Tang Clan for a crazy version of “Shame On A Ni**a.” Is that allowed? I’m not sure about this one…
  • And finally, if you’re not yet familiar with The Pipettes, you should be. Start off by going to Turtle Cove and listen to “One Night Stand.”

ICYMI: Picklephobia On Maury

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In the barren wasteland of daytime television, there is a sparkling oasis of awesomeness known as the “confronting your fears” segments on the Maury Povich Show. In these priceless displays, Maury brings on guests with unusual fears, then forces them to tearfully confront said fear as the audience looks on in sadistic glee. The results are funnier than watching Maury’s wife Connie Chung croon her way through old Sinatra tunes. In this classic example, a young girl is forced to look at and touch pickles, of which she inexplicably has a paralyzing fear:

ICYMI: Sandler- Again, And Again, And Again

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Didn’t get a chance to catch Click over the weekend? Don’t worry. If it’s anything like the rest of Adam Sandler’s movies, we have a feeling it goes a little something… like this: