After months of speculation, anticipation and no small amount of skepticism, the day has finally come and gone: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have brought a new life into the world. But now that the pregnancy circus is pulling out of gossip town, what’s next for the world’s Hollyweirdest couple?
First of all, Tom has indefinitely cancelled all press appearances for his upcoming summer blockbuster/career killer, Mission:Impossible 3, which is news I know at least one person is going to take pretty hard. Next, as the cruel hand of fate would have it, Tom Cruise and his natal arch-nemesis Brooke Shields had their new children ON THE SAME DAY, forever entwining the destinies of their offspring. This will also give the whole world a very public opportunity to observe the post-partum challenges and behavior of one woman who doesn’t believe in psychiatric medication, and one woman who isn’t crazy.
So just because the baby is finally born and you’re not going to get to see anymore pictures of Katie Holmes out shopping with a basketball stuffed under shirt, there’s still plenty more juice left in this fruit basket of absurdity.
In this upcoming issue of Rolling Stone Magazine, Nick Lachey comes clean about separation from Jessica Simpson. The former Newlywed said that he stills loves her, that Joe Simpson influenced their marriage, that he still doesn’t know whether she cheated on him and that he was ‘told’ he would be getting a divorce.
Look, Jessica’s no angel, but she’s not all to blame. Judging from this cover of US Weekly, Nick always had to have the bigger cleavage.
Thanks to YouTube and a couple of gay cowboys, the movie trailer mash-up frenzy has completely jumped the shark, the blue whale, and the Grand Canyon to boot.
In an effort to encourage this migration away from more mash-ups, Comedy Central’s Showbiz Show with David Spade is changing the game to movie trailer re-makes (like this genius one for Jurassic Park), and inviting all you Alfred Hitchcocks of two-minute trailers to submit your low-budget masterpieces for a chance to get it on the show and have David Spade say something smug about it – check it out!
It’s a girl! And that means the Tom Cruise You Complete Me Photoshop Contest is over. Thanks to everybody who participated (like Sarah, who sent us this rather hypnotizing Tom-On-Tom ink blotter-esque photo the left)– the entries ranged from hilarious to downright disturbing. But in a good way. I’ve included some of our favorites below.
Thanks again to everybody… and to you, Suri. For putting an end to this madness. You’re a little angel. (Do Scientologists believe in angels? If not, whoops.)
Your probably know by now that the most famous couple in the world finally had their baby yesterday and it’s a girl!
Congratulations Brooke Shields and Chris Henchy!
In other baby news, Tom and Katie also had a girl yesterday named Suri.
Jason is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including American Idol, Pepper Dennis, Less Than Perfect, and Scrubs!