The summer of love, this is not.
Maybe it’s the heat wave, maybe it’s the war in the Middle East, or maybe it’s because there’s nothing good on TV, but this summer we’ve been witness to a record number of celebrity break-ups. It’s only August and already we’ve had two MTV reality show couples file for divorce, two more have parted ways, and to top it all off Jude & Sienna are breaking up… again! Throw in big names like Christie Brinkley, Jenna Jameson and Paul McCartney and it’s plain to see that this really is the Summer of Dunzo.
Sometimes when a celebrity couple splits up you’re secretly happy– you never liked them anyway: UPGRADE! But other times you wish they would’ve worked things out and stayed together for
the kids you: DOWNGRADE! Who deserves an upgrades and who deserves a downgrade? Vote now!
While completing his morning vanity Google (right between showering and breakfast), The Hoff found himself posed with an existentially troubling question: could he possibly be The Antichrist foretold by ancient Christian prophets? Apparently one of Google’s 7,333,600 references to The Hoff (he knows the exact number) suggests that His Hoffness might in fact be the biblically-prophesied Beast of Babylon sent to bring a reign of darkness upon the Earth in a hellish Abomination of Desolation. Could the former Baywatch star be responsible for the trials and tribulations associated with End Times, and if so, why haven’t we read about this in those Left Behind books? Is Knight Rider actually one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and does that make KITT a hell-beast? All I know is that I’m terrified by the awesome power of The Hoff and hope that he never chooses to use his omnipotence for dark or evil purposes (other than America’s Got Talent).
This morning, we were blessed with the news that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were a-finally engaged. Team Aniston rejoices. They just want to see Jen happy.
Then Star Magazine comes out. Announcing on its cover (in a harsh looking Arial Bold) that Angelina Jolie has moved out of the house with the kids! And that Brad Pitt is “freaking” out! This is like Team Aniston winning the World Series. This is huge.
Although considering that Star also “reveals” that Matthew McConaughey is Jen’s new boyfriend — and now knowing that isn’t true — well, don’t believe everything you read in $1.99 tabloids. Still, we hate to think about those three gorgeous Pitt children grow up without Brad. We’re dying to see what kind of Daddy issues Shiloh ends up with.
Our friends at Double Viking brought this clip to our attention, a musical medley of classic 8-bit video games, taken from a performance by the Video Games Live Orchestra. What can we say, we’re suckers for pretty much anything pertaining to poor graphics and simplistic gameplay. But still, this is pretty awesome:
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, August 8th! Alan is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Fear Factor, Rockstar:Supernova, and Last Comic Standing!
When Oliver Stone’s World Trade Center opens tomorrow, different people will experience different emotions. Curiosity. Excitement. Disgust. Etc. I for one will be elated. Mainly because I’ll be $20 richer thanks to the “There will be a movie about September 11th starring Nicolas Cage in under five years” bet I made on 9/12/01.
With last month’s United 93 and tomorrow’s World Trade Center, 9/11 is to the summer of ’06 what asteroid movies like Armageddon and Deep Impact were to the summer of ’98. And that’s why a film like Ground Zeromance probably isn’t too far off.
Full Disclosure: Okay, so I’m involved in The Post Show. But come on, I had to post this. It’s timely, dammit.
Watch out ladies, The Hoff is on the prowl!
The newly single Knight Rider has announced that he’s ready to date again. So what’s The Hoff looking for in a woman? One word: Fame.
“I’m looking for a woman who’s more famous than me. Kate Beckinsale. I whispered in her ear the other day on the red carpet, ‘I’ll give you everything I have.’ She just laughed. But, you know, when she met me she seemed very excited. But she’s happily married, so nothing’s going to happen.”
So BeckinHoff is not meant to be. That’s fine- he can do much better in the nickname department anyway. Click below to find who we think he should set his sites on. Because it’s only a matter of time before we’re blessed with a LoHoff.
We want to meet the genius who posted this trailer for Steve Guttenberg‘s turn as Lobo Morongo in the movie Don’t Tell Her It’s Me. On second thought, we want to meet the director who cocked Guttenberg’s head just so during the douche-chilliest monologue of all time, and the hairstylist who permed the mullet-wig, and, of course, Kyle Mclachlan (some things never change).
(Forever indebted to Julia for the vid.)