Tyra Banks is all about making dreams come true. On today’s Tyra Banks Show, she got a member of her studio audience* to come on stage and make out with a 39-year-old virgin who had never even kissed a woman before. Not bad. On that note, I think it’s time I admit that I’ve never given a woman a Dick Belding before. Come on Tyra, hook a brother up!
*by ‘audience member’ we mean ‘paid actress’ in all likelihood. Come on. Nobody’s that friendly.
Which sexy Hollywood starlet was caught on camera shooting a sexy glance to her millions of male fans? Take a guess, then click below to find out!
Maybe Project Runway contestant Uli Herzner is a little ahead of her time. Take a look at some of the dresses from Gucci’s Spring Collection from Milan Fashion Week, and tell me “zat zey wouldn’t be puh-fect for, you know, ze night out in Miah-mi, by ze pool, or in St. Tropez, on ze beach.” These dresses scream Uli.
Thanks to Jake for sending us this BillyBob photoshop submission. The contest is underway and we’ve already gotten a bunch of great ones. Now it’s your turn. Click here to get a blank board to work with, then email your submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’ll post our favorites throughout the week and on Friday hand out a prize to the best of the best. We mean it this time.
Now that we’ve discovered Dustin Diamond’s fondness for unsavory sex moves such as the “Dirty Sanchez”, we’re left wondering about what other Advanced Bedtime Maneuvers comprise the Marquis de Screech’s boot-knocking playbook? Luckily our shadowy network of operatives has delivered us this exclusive list of a few of Dustin’s favorite positions:
The Dick Belding: In which one performs a series of generally vile sex acts until their partner is forced to finally turn around and say, “Hey hey hey, what is going on here?”
The Zack Attack: Wherein you cover your junk with “LA Look” hair gel before sexually assaulting the passed out Valley Girl you scammed into coming back to your West Hollywood basement apartment.
The Bayside Tiger: When you’re about to orgasm, you suddenly scream out the Bayside Fight Song, which is, “Beat…b-b-b-b-beat…GO BAYSIDE!!!”
The Dirty Turtle: After having sex with some stuck-up snob, piss all over their trendy multi-colored clothing.
America’s Next Top Model has consistently been one of our favorite shows on television, due in part to the hilarious recaps posted by Rich over at the FourFour blog. Rich goes into a graduate-thesis-esque analysis of last week’s premiere, including the below highlights reel that nicely sums up the general ridiculousness of host Tyra Banks. The second ep. is tonight at 8 (followed by Runway at 9), so swallow your pride, turn to the CW, and catch one of the most entertaining hours of the week — plus, it’s the makeover episode tonight!
A few days ago, we alerted you to a brewing Project Runway scandal first reported in New York Magazine. Well, of course, Jeffrey Sebelia has something to say about it. Check out his response to a Myspace message sent by one concerned fan:
Hey!!! Thanks for the concern, but all I have to say is be careful of what you read and also of what is presented in the press. Those people take any information they get (usually unfounded rumors) and just print them in order to bolster their own readership with no regard to the person they might be slandering. They are just doing their job as bottom feeding, sludge dredging, no-life having journalists.
Why we never. Listen, you gotta dredge a lotta sludge to make it in this biz. Read the rest of the diatribe after the jump…
This morning, we’ve learned some awful news through the gossip grapevine: Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson, the ultimate in starry-eyed hipster cardigany adorableness, are going through a “rough patch.” (SOUL-EXHUMING SIGH.) The couple, who as the world knows took their fairy-tale relashe from The O.C. to real-life proportions, have been going strong for the last few years, and were even reported to be enaged. So what went wrong? Two fish-lipped words: ZACH BRAFF. Bilson has been gabbing with Braff non-stop, and it’s filling Seth Cohen with an anger usually seen in fake-father Browzy LaRue.
You know, we were willing to give Zach Braff a chance. Sure, he made possibly our least favorite faux-wacky movie pre-Life Aquatic. And sure, he has only one facial expression. But, hey: He’s had his moments. But let’s add another memo to our growing anti-Braff collection: If you break up our favorite Hollywood hipster couple, you are not only a major traitor, sir, but you will also become reviled by your current fan base. So please, do us a favor, do yourself a favor, put down your phone, and continue on with your quest to be peripherally annoying.
And the “There’s a Dustin Diamond Sex Tape, Which Picture Should We Use?” Award of the day goes to…
The Huffington Post! Poor Kevin. As a robot he can’t technically feel (or smell), but I still don’t want to know the dirty, dirty things Screech was doing to him.