According to the UK’s Female First: "Britney Spears had to be rushed to hospital after treading on a hypodermic needle. The pop babe – who is on holiday in Hawaii – had stepped out of her car without shoes on when she trod on the needle in a parking lot."
Britney? Barefoot? Hypodermic Needle? My head is swimming. There are so many ripe, perfectly formed one-liners on the tips of my fingers. But I will defer to you, readers. Give us you’re best joke for this Sizzler- we’ll post our favorite later in the day.
Okay, I’m finally willing to accept that none of these fake movie trailers popping up on the internet will ever be as good as The Shining-as-a-romantic-comedy one. However, this one is still really enjoyable. Check out Must Love Jaws. The perfect usage of the Spin Doctors, James Blunt, and R. Kelly make it worth the price of admission.
Unless you’re an aging secretary with too many pets and not enough dates, chances are you probably don’t find the comic strip Garfield to be very funny or amusing.
But what IS funny and amusing is what happens when you remove Garfield’s thought bubbles from the strip, leaving a only a tragic portait of a lonely cat owner slowly sliding down the spiral to madness…
(via Boing Boing)
SADDAM HUSSEIN T-SHIRT SLOGAN: "I am the Head of State!" (Breitbart)
STARBUCKS RANT: The Kid from Brooklyn, who doesn’t understand why you’re paying $7 for a coffee and piece of pound cake. (Gawker)
IRONIC NEWS: Kid Rock is afraid of germs. Really Kid Rock? Really? You solely date porn stars. I mean, really?? (Contact Music)
EXCITING NERD NEWS: Filming on the Star Wars TV show is expected to start next year. Cynics are expected to announce that it sucks shortly thereafter. (Starpulse)
MP3: The Sopranos Megamix– Do The Malanga! (Download it here)
I think K-Fed’s "PopoZao" is song of the year, hands down. In fact, it excited me so much, that I’ve decided that I want to be a hip-hop artist too. From now on, I will be known as J-Fed. My first single is inspired by "PopoZao" and it’s about the thing I love the most: spinning Yo-Yos. It’s fire!
Lyrics after the jump so you can rap along.
We know you’ve been pining to be on Deal or No Deal, if just to flirt with pirate-cum-game show host Howie Mandel. While we can’t guarantee you a place on the show, we can provide you with a way to practice your deal-making skills (A.K.A guessing). Crapville hosts this no-frills adaptation, sans Mandel or the leggy briefcases. But before you play, make sure you’ve got some time on your hands because this computer version goes on forever, just like the real thing.
You may be familiar with Isaac Asimov‘s first law of robots: They should not harm humans. Well, the United States government has never let a little thing like a law keep it from protecting its citizens. According to the Inquirer (via Slashdot), the United Sates army is deploying killer robots in Iraq. The robots, called SWORDS (Special Weapons Observation Reconnaissance Detection Systems), are equipped with either the M249, machine gun which fires 5.56-millimeter rounds at 750 rounds per minute or the M240, which fires 7.62-millimeter rounds at up to 1,000 per minute. Didn’t they see I, Robot? Okay, that’s a silly question. In any case, I think it’s a good idea to declare that robots are having the Best Week Ever. And on a personal note, I’d like to say that I’ve always loved robots and I would be glad to serve them in any capacity. Long live SWORDS, our exalted overlords!