ICYMI: Houston, Having a Problem

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It’s summertime, which means the only television I can rely on is Project Runway and The Office reruns. Then it occurred to me: I miss Being Bobby Brown, the Bravo reality series that followed the crazed antics of Whitney Houston and hubby Bobby. For those of you like me, or those with 19 seconds of company time on your hands, check out this Greatest Hits reel. Sing along to her classic tracks “Hell To The No”, “Aw Hell No”, “Oh Hell– Hell No!”, and her #1 hit single “I Am Not Doing This With Him Todaaaaaay.” (Link via Popsugar)

ICYMI: The Song Of The Summer Is Finally HERE!

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Sorry Rihanna. Step aside Justin. THIS right here is the song of the summer. Written a day after French soccer player Zinadine Zidane delivered the Headbutt heard ’round the world, this track has already exploded in France. It’s titled “Headbutt”, but you find any of those in the video– just a lot of goold old fashioned booty-shaking.

Now good luck getting it out of your head.

SIZZLER: Simon Cowell’s Lover, Revealed!

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cowell.JPGBritish tabloid The Mirror has gotten an exclusive picture of the young lover Simon Cowell has grasped in his vulture talons while his nearly ancient 32-year-old girlfriend is away. The world may pretend to act shocked, but camman, you knew it all along.

In all seriousness, her name is Jasmine Lennard, the 21-year-old the daughter of an ex-Bond girl who has spent nearly the last 20 years of her life in rehab. The article goes into randy detail of Lennard’s coke-addled, orgy-prone teen years, along with a heebie-jeebie inducing account of Cowell’s moves in the bedroom. It’s a little NSFW, if your coworkers could see your thoughts. Oh, and she’s bisexual, which would probably explain the attraction. Have you seen the rack that guy is sporting?

While You Were Summer Loving

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  • The Hoff’s publicist claims The Hoff wasn’t turned away from a British Airways flight because The Hoff was drunk, The Hoff was merely feeling ill. And on that note, how great must it be to act as a publicist for a man who calls himself The Hoff?
  • Michael Jackson has sold his amusement park rides for $500,000. Though it’s going to cost even more to get all the creepy stains removed.
  • Katharine McPhee will visit the White House to meet President Bush. The two will talk about what it felt like finishing second.
  • According to the Chicago Tribune, “Pals Line Up To Back Bass After His Coming Out.” I’m thinking there’s a better way to phrase that.
  • Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will finally tie the knot later this summer or early next fall. It depends on when the M:I3 DVD is released.

Best Night Ever: Thursday, July 27th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, July 27th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including So You Think You Can Dance?, America’s Got Talent, and Who Wants To Be A Superhero?!

…Of The Day

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  • CONSPIRACY THEORY: Ashlee Simpson was replaced with a better looking model. You know, kinda like they did with Becky on Roseanne. (Collegehumor)
  • BIZARRE COVER: Sounds like U2 is covering a track by Albert Hammond Jr. from The Strokes. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? (The Modern Age)
  • BIGGEST LITTLE BASEBALL CONTROVERSY: If you tell your fans you have the last living Munchkin from The Wizard Of Oz, you better damn well have the last living Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz. (Deadspin)
  • DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB: Kevin Federline- Male Model. Don’t worry, it’s only a part-time gig. (J2)
  • 4th TIME’S A CHARM: Pamela Anderson & Kid Rock will have four separate weddings. Kid hopes to remember at least 1 of them. (D-Listed)

ICYMI: Best $5 Ever

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annanicoleweb.JPGFor little more than the cost of a gallon of gas, you could have an entire month’s worth of access to video footage far crazier than anything R. Kelly could come up with on a playground in Bangkok with an endless supply of Viagra. $4.99 might not seem like a lot of money these days, but at AnnaNicole.com that kind of change will buy you a front seat for the greatest freakshow since The Elephant Man’s farewell tour. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something oddly therapeutic about watching Anna Nicole’s little home movies – it’s kind of like Prozak in podcast form. I guess there are just those days when you really need to see a pill-addled bimbo in an airbrushed t-shirt giving rambling culinary tips on the proper way to prepare a peanut butter, mayonnaise and cheese fried sandwich (with “nanners” on it, if she has them). Sometimes jokes are just so unnecessary.

LISTEN UP: A Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • All the blogs are going crazy for some new underground indie band called The Beatles. Listen to some of their unreleased demo tracks over at I Am Fuel, You Are Friends and decide whether or not they live up the hype.
  • “Forget those Beatles posers, The Bicycles are where it’s at”, said the Gramophone.
  • Aquarium Drunkard has us cutting a rug to newly-signed rockers The Whigs.
  • *Sixeyes offers a side-by-side comparison of The Magnetic Fields and Arcade Fire, who recorded very different – but equally awesome – versions of the song “Born On A Train”.
  • Scenestars has some new tracks from indie rockers Ladyhawk, which also happens to be the title of my absolute favorite 80′s movie about Medieval-age humans who morph into animals at night.

UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: Reunited, And It Feels So Weird

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BonJovi.jpgThis summer, some unexpected acts from yesteryear have literally banded together to tour the U.S. Some of them we are welcoming back with open arms (UPGRADE) and others give music a bad name (DOWNGRADE).

Tell us which bands you’re happy to have back, and which should be sent to their permanent retirement homes.

CAPTION THIS: Carmen’s Pussycat Doll Dance

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Carmen Electra shows prospective buyers exactly what they’re paying for now that she’s back on the market.

To see more Carmen pics, head over to BlogNYC. Leave your Captions in the Comments. This photograph was taken when Carmen performed with The Pussycat Dolls, so let the double entendre begin!