Stars– They’re Just Like Us Bat-sh*t Crazy

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You may think being rich, famous and drop-dead gorgeous can make you act differently from the average person, but you’d be surprised. We scoured today’s batch of paparazzi photos and red carpet footage to show you how even the biggest celebrities do the same things you or me do everyday. (click on thumbnail photos to enlarge)

Britney Spears’ manny in LA: They make their male nannies stock up on cases of Red Bull to feed their growing baby.
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Mischa Barton at the airport: They’re always looking for new ways to demean their dogs.
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Katharine McPhee with boyfriend in New York: They blame the body they’ve hidden in the trunk of their car for that fart-like smell.
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While You Were Searching For Signs of Evil

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  • Janice Dickinson opened up to Howard Stern about her horrifying sexual history, including a “hot threesome with Grace Jones and Dolph Lundgren“. The word you’re looking for right now is “eww”.
  • Tom Cruise prays for the people who write about him. I was wondering why I keep having these dreams where a 75 million year-old Intergalactic Warlord with an English accent hovers over me, politely insisting that Tom is “quite the ladies man”.
  • Nelly Furtado cut her duet with Coldplay’s Chris Martin from her latest album. She explained her decision by saying, “I used to think Coldplay was alright, but ever since he married a movie star and became Mr. Easylistening, they just sound kinda gay”.
  • Brandon Davis‘ grandmother says he’s not only sorry for what he said, but is now actually dating Lindsay Lohan. Total BS, but imagine how hot the make-up sex would be (Get it, “hot”? You know, cause she has a “firecrotch”? Anybody? Ok, sorry.)
  • Britney Spears says she’s planning to design a line of baby clothes. Her first idea is a cute little onesie than just says “Douche-dad”.

The New World Oprah

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oprahangry.jpgSome dude (ahem) over at CRACKED Magazine managed to get their hands on a super top-secret memo from Oprah’s production company outlining some frightening plans for her next phase of total world domination. If there’s anything you truly need to be worried about on 6/6/06, it’s the awesome power and sinister evil of America’s most trusted day time talk show host! Mark of the beast, indeed.

ICYMI: Pink Gets Pierced

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Pink’s got a lot of problems with “Stupid Girls” like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton who thrive on nipslips and internet sex tapes. But she’s got no problem with making a video of getting her nipple pierced in front of her mom. This footage of the in-your-face pop star putting her boob in some piercer’s face, proves that she’s tougher than say the Olsen twins who only pierced their earlobes, but not as tough as Christina Aguilera who pierced her YaYa years ago.

PROPPED: 8 Mile 2/3 of a Mile

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battle rap.JPGWhen Jeterluva1 Dropped this clip and titled it “Best Battle Rap Ever,” I knew I was in for a treat. Especially when the description read “This is just painful to watch.” Um. They were right.

If you’ve ever felt inadequate about your own battle rapping skills (and honestly, who hasn’t lost sleep over this), Click Here. These two kids will make you feel a little better about yourself. That is, until MTV2 gives them their own show and makes them stars like Andy Milonakis.

Got something of your own you want us to check out? Drop it now!

It’s June 6th; What’s up?

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tv set1.jpgIt’s 6-6-06 and the world hasn’t ended yet, so I guess that means we have at least one more night of laying around on our couches, eating pretzels and watching TV. Whew.

So what are we rewarded with? Well, there’s Last Comic Standing on NBC (I’m rooting for that blonde chick from Chicago, Nikki Glaser, how about you?), the premiere of Janice Dickinson’s Modeling Agency, and Queer Eye: Las Vegas.

What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

Top Five Best Career Decisions God Made for Stephen Baldwin

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baldwin.jpgAccording to his upcoming memoir/Bible adjunct, “The Unusual Suspect: My Calling to the New Hardcore Movement of Faith,” God has made many of Stephen Baldwin’s major career decisions. And from what we can telll, He puts super-agent Ari Gold to shame. We took a look at the trajectory of Stephen Baldwin’s career and saw that god has helped turn one man into the kind of star in Hollywood that no one wants to can touch. After the jump, check out the top five best career decisions that God has made for his second favorite son:
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ICYMI: Alan Thicke Needs to Stop Drinking

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I’m sure you all spent last Saturday night the exact same way I did – sitting on the couch with a 6-pack of Old Milwaukee, glued to the We Network, watching the 2006 Mrs. World Pageant, which happened to be hosted by the scotchiest guy in showbiz, the one and only Alan Thicke. We all remember Alan’s boozy babbling throughout this year’s short-lived Celebrity Cooking Showdown, and now we have this “you have to see it to believe it” clip from the Mrs. World broadcast, in which a presumably hammered Thicke accidentally crowns the WRONG WOMAN as Mrs. World, thus setting into motion a carnival of utter hilarity and devastation. What’s almost as absurd is the show was TAPED, so they could have simply edited out the blunder prior to airing. The clip’s about 8 minutes long, but pretty worth your time…

(Thanks to Socialite for the heads up!)

While You Were Doing a Wheatgrass Shot

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Best Night Ever: Monday, June 5th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, June 5th! Bob is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Deal or No Deal, The Apprentice, and Fast Inc!