Celebrity-way phone calls are made and Cityrag invesigates the latest Junk-Feud goodness. What would the gossip net world be like without Lola our Junk-Feud goddess. It’s bloggy goodness for all.[link]

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Tom Sizemore is trying to get networks to pick up a reality show starring
Tom Sizemore. Networks won’t touch it, probably concerned about the
speaking part for "Little Tommy".

Star Jones donates her Emmy gown to help Katrina victims.  Will be used as tarp for the Superdome.

Oprah ends war with Hermes, still locked in a stalemate with Zoidburg on the Western front.

Lil’ Kim checks into prison for perjury, prepares to truly find out if ‘she get licked once, she can get licked twice.’

Jerry Springer
  musical back on track in London. They were waiting for the pole-dancing conjoined gay twins to join the cast.

God already allows one awards show to promote the "homosexual agenda",
but clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond
the Tonys.

Halle Berry swears off men…but not making bad movies.

Survivor winner Richard Hatch pleads not guilty to tax evasion.   Trying to outwit, outlast, outplay IRS….

*1 joke pulled double posted on fark. we are geeks.

What actress hasn’t had a shower in 3 months? [Socialate link]

You can find more photos at Hollywood Rag.

"Only approved Orange Hooters Girl Shorts are to be worn, sized to fit,
and should NOT BE SO TIGHT THAT THE BUTTOCKS SHOW." [ Continue reading @ the smoking gun]

Things I’ve learned from reading this handbook include the following:

1) Smiling is super important (because Hooters patrons really care about your inner beauty).
2) Socks also are super important (because nobody likes a stinker).
3) Tongue rings are bad (because they aren’t selling sex, they are selling b00bies…?)
4) bras are good (I think it should be on an individual basis…but I’ll let this one slide).
5)men work at hookers(?)

I didn’t know that last one. See, you learn something new every day. Now if I can just find myself boobies, I can hand in my application and get my smiling on.

Theme: Studio Mix n Match 5 – When musicians try too hard to be versatile..

"1950 cent" by arnica18

See more hilarious entries here at Worth1000.

Renee says Kenny didn’t want kids. "This is an incredibly sad time. I
just hope everyone can respect the privacy that I know Renee has asked
for, plus, I don’t have a penis."

Tori Spelling is soon to be free from her failed marriage. In somewhat unrelated news,  Prince Charles  is thinking of trading in for a younger horse…

Lara Flynn Boyle now regrets being such an advocate against plastic surgery, because she’d really enjoy a bigger set of breasts. Did someone tell her that eating food also tends to help make one’s body develop properly?

Nude Loch Ness swimmers give up; realize it’s a bad idea to wiggle the worm at Nessie.

Fashion legend Valentino, proves yet again to have exquisite taste. When asked about whether or not he would design the wedding dress for Paris Hilton he responded "No, I don’t like her. She is marrying the son of a
friend of mine. They have billions. She is vulgar, and she is not even
pretty." He then took a quick jab at her whole family stating that "The Hiltons, they have nothing."

Hmm. Valentino is a very…very smart man. A very smart man with great insight… A very smart man that may not have a hotel to stay in when visiting North America and will most likely not be in Paris any time soon. [NYpost article]

Not that this should surprise anyone. Once a freak, always a freak…right Madonna? [Cityrag scoop]

Kate Moss‘ coke habit led to lesbian romps with British actresses;
now why couldn’t the tabloids have video of THAT? Until I see proof, I
refuse to believe that supermodels live lives of drugs, sex, and rock
& roll.

Next James Bond movie: "He’s 28: no Q, no gadgets." What’s next? No alcohol or women either?  Is this a Mormon bond? This is going to be the worst. bond. movie. ever.

Vince Neil forgets to take his "Keith Richards immortality pill" and breaks a leg on stage. No really… he broke his leg.

Tyra Banks takes bra off on TV to prove they’re real…and perfect.

Cletus expects January rap album release "to sell 1 million copies
within the first month", pigs to fly through frozen hell (second story).

World’s first face transplant will occur in the next few weeks.  John Travolta and Nicholas Cage unavailable for comment.

Cynthia Lennon continues to kick John’s balls in, this time in book form.

Aye matey, today be national talk like a pirate day.

92-year old man hits major jackpot at a casino for the second time, plans to get a trophy wife and a year’s supply of Depends.

Bill Gates and Napoleon Dynamite – "The Microsoft bigwig teamed up with Napoleon Dynamite in this spoof
video from PDC 2005. The camera’s a little shaky, but you get the idea." Nice camera work, gawwwwwd.

Fatbot – With or without the invention of web cameras this guy will still have difficulty scoring a date.

Scare Me - Pretty much pointless indeed but I laughed and so did satan. (may not be safe for work due to language)

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Butterflies swimming in the sea – haha. ha. Oh. This hits too close to home.

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Bathroom Social Club – It’s hard not to feel vulnerable (and perhaps stupid) when your pants are around your ankles.

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Breakfast  fortified with iron – I am so trying this out tomorrow morning…you kids rule.