While You Were Watching Ellen Cut a Rug

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  • James Blunt is definitely dating Petra Nemcova . After seeing her face in a crowded place, he clearly knew what to do.
  • Donald Trump to produce game show version of Monopoly. But it’s just his excuse to wear a top hat and coattails.
  • Lindsay Lohan pisses off Anna Wintour with her endless trips to the bathroom at the CFDA awards. But forms an unbreakable bond with the bathroom attendant.
  • DJ’s say Paris’ new single is hard to ridicule because it’s not half bad. Lucky for VJ’s, the video is atrocious.
  • Britney’s mom calls on “Christian life coach” to save Brit and K-Fed’s marriage. But Jesus isn’t sure if he loves them.
  • Naomi Campbell is trying for a baby. Or rather, harvesting her own maid/personal assistant/Blackberry target.
  • Katie Holmes’s ex, Chris Klein finds love again.Or as he sees it, another woman to lose to an Operating Thetan Level 8.

Best Night Ever: Wednesday, June 7th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, June 7th! Danielle is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including Gameshow Marathon, So You Think You Can Dance?, and Dog Bites Man!

…Of The Day

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  • YOUTUBULAR TIMEWASTER: Got 20 minutes to spare? Watch this guy demolish Mike Tyson’s Punchout! (Deadspin)
  • HOTTIE: Ashlee Simpson. I never thought I would type that. (Hollywoodtuna)
  • HAIRY HOTTIE: Emmanuelle Chriqui, a.k.a. Sloane from Entourage. I still love her. (The Bastardly)
  • AWESOME MAURY-ESQUE TWIST!: The Enquirer says Brad isn’t Shiloh’s baby-daddy. Oh no they didn’t! (Tabloid Whore)
  • UNLIKELY RAP DUO: Jamie Kennedy and… Bob Saget? They can’t be worse than these kids. Or can they? (Celebutaint)

While You Were Getting Sued For Looking at a Baby

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  • Marc Anthony takes out ad in the trade paper Variety professing love for J.Lo. Plans to rent Times Square billboard to ask her where she wants to go to dinner.
  • Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds break up. Watch out Ryan, you’ve got angry chick song coming your way.
  • Woody Harrelson, wife welcome a brand new baby girl…made entirely out of hemp.
  • Janet Jackson’s boobage looks like it’s hiding some implants. But considering she’s Michael Jackson’s sister it must be genetics.
  • Jessica Alba has the ability to make dolphins excited. A trait that will come in handy if she ever wants to start a super-breed of doplh-people.
  • Katie Holmes’ parents now want her to marry Tom, say sources close to the actor. Strangely no one’s actually seen or heard from the parents in months.
  • Jessica and Nick’s divorce will be final June 17th. Which means Nick can finally start dating again.
  • Slate thinks Tom Cruise should just disappear for a year. And he will, once he gets that goddamn time machine to work.

SIZZLER: Hatcher’s Homemade Bra

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teri_book7.jpg When it comes to her boobs, Terri Hatcher’s a regular MacGyver. Forget bras or fancy lingerie, give her a roll of Scotch tape and ten minutes and she’ll have a rack you can serve cocktails off of. She confessed to a British Magazine why she uses tape to keep her twins in place: “When you wear those complicated, low-cut dresses, and you’re 40, that’s how you can achieve perfect cleavage.” Unfortunately, when this picture was taken, she may have gotten to the end of her roll. But she did use a match, two grommets and a snap pea to make herself a pair of underwear.

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • I finally saw Pearl Jam for the first time on Saturday, and it was unbelievable. I Am Fuel, You Are Friends has a handful of live PJ tracks that are worth your time.
  • Indieblogheaven has a couple of tracks by Be Your Own Pet today for those of you who like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs but hate repeating yourself.
  • Gear up for summer by heading over to Domino Rally and dowloading some Beach Boys songs you might not be familiar with.
  • It’s the Return of The Rentals! Well, not yet, but soon. 3hive has some Rentals remixes to tide you over until Matt Sharp’s band gets back in the studio.
  • A day doesn’t go by that another artist doesn’t cover Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy.” Today on Stereogum, it’s The Twilight Singers’ turn.

SIZZLER: Very First Picture of Shiloh

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bradandaneginannm.jpg Sure People Magazine has some pretty tough lawyers who’ve bullied other blogs into taking down the very first picture of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. But here at BWE we’re not afraid of a little lawsuit. So here it is: the very first picture of proud parents Brangelina at a press conference in Namibia today, with their brand new, biological daughter Shiloh. Isn’t she just precious? Yup, there’s definitely something in the Namibian water.

K-Fed Demands Kindness on MySpace

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fed1.jpgFor those of you respectable folk who don’t visit Kevin Federline’s MySpace page regularly, here’s an update. Britney’s trophy husband, drunk with power, set off sparks on his site by demanding approval of all comments posted. Whereas once you could leave any comment you wanted, now he’s policing posts to make sure everything is K-friendly. While his fans are outraged by their lack of freedom of speech, Kevin is telling them it’s for their own good.
Here’s what he posted Monday on his Myspace blog:

if you all didn’t use my comment section to dis each other i woulda kept them without approval…but all that shit was stupid. i don’t care if you don’t like me but respect each other.

We’ve run this statement through our trusty celebrity translator and discovered the true meaning of Kevin’s word. Here’s what we think he’s saying:

You hurt my feelings when you say mean things about me. I really, really want to be loved by everyone but in particular porn stars and rappers. From now on, if you want to post a comment on my MySpace page you can write A)”You’re an amazing lyricist” or B)”thanks for the add, sexy”.” C) “You Suck Balls” is no longer an option.

PROPPED: Rejected Jokes from SNL

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It’s better to have tried and failed and posted your failure on your blog then never to have tried at all. That’s what Ben Schwartz, a freelance writer for shows like SNL and Dave Letterman , thinks. This dude has been capitalizing on his failures for over a year now, by posting his rejected jokes on his website rejectedjokes.com. This month, Schwartz dropped off a whole new line-up of bombs. If you’ve always wanted to know what it doesn’t take to get on SNL, check out this video Schwartz performing his rejected jokes live.

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