"E,O and the Spacebar for certain drums. Follow the guide to play them when they should be played."

 
This flash game has been around for a bit but it’s still a good way to waste 5 minutes even if it’s to Weezer.[play]

This is shockingly more difficult than you would think…perhaps my television diet should include more music videos.[link]

link thanks to:
Socialite Life

Before having sex, always make sure you have
protection. Legal protection. Sign here for the lawyer-laden world of
modern intimacy and give your Consent.

Hilarious short film on legally protected sexual relations. This is your must watch video of the day.[watch now]

The linked episode features Michael Jackson inviting Bigfoot to his slumber party ice cream social. This is one ice cream social I want nothing to do with. EVER. Cooking with Bigfoot features adult themes, cartoon violence and profanity and may not be work safe. In that case, I suggest you bookmark it and watch the episodes at home.

Link thanks to:
CynicalSmirk

Awful Plastic Surgery takes a look at what real boobies can and can not do.[cityrag link]

Survivor
winner Richard Hatch indicted on 10 counts of tax evasion and fraud.
The thought of pound-me-in-the-ass prison made him do it.

Tara Reid robbed of nearly $180,000 worth of jewelry while filming "Taradise" for the E! Network. Captain Morgan is being held up for questioning.

What’s up with Ms. Lopez these days? "Don’t be fooled by the fetus that I got, I’m still Jenny from the block."

Ozzy Osbourne says he’s lost count of the number of rehab clinics he has attended. So it must be more than three.

ABC to offer all its primetime shows in Spanish to prove that they suck in two languages.

Brits pissed off that an American has won the coveted Mercury Prize.
And not just any American, but a 6’4" transvestite from New York.

"South Park" gets 3 year extension with Comedy Central. Trey and Matt
expected to flip out and go chill out in Africa any day now.

Message found in a bottle floating down a New Orleans street,
…"Please send beer. I’m out at this time. … Some shrimp &
oysters would be appreciated". I’ve always said it’s good to have priorities.

Sake
ice cream a big hit in Japan – Thirsty Americans waiting to see if
Beyers picks up on the trend & starts to produce Tequila sherbet,
Vanilla Gin, or Vodka Neapolitan Vodka in the US.

Kanye West knocks Mariah Carey out of top Billboard spot. Obviously Kanye West doesn’t care about white people.

Michael Moore considering Hurricane Katrina documentary. Food shortages
expected to continue on the Gulf Coast for a very, very long time.

Famous photographer LaChappelle unloads on Jessica and Ashlee Simpson: "they’re
everything wrong with culture, and everything wrong with art, and what
we think of as art and musical culture – in one family!" Hey David, remember that time you did that Burger King commercial? That was super duper cultured of you. Or  that time you filmed the music video for Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne or Moby or insert lame pop star of the moment here.

Nick Cave walks off stage, refuses to play after being told he could not bring his beer and cigarettes up with him. Since when do rockstars ask permission?

Rolling
Stones hire expert to examine why their new single isn’t getting
airplay. Expert’s initial findings: You’re 60 years old and your song
sucks.

Couple living under water so scientists can study the effects on the
body. When asked what they will miss most, the answer was ‘air’.

Britney Spears schedules Cesarean. Cletus wonders if he can get extra of them little hard bread things.

and it seems the episode has already been leaked onto the net.

It might seem like it’s been years since you’ve seen the show but it’s back tonight at 8pm. All I can remember is the hot mom is in rehab for alcoholism. You can find spoilers and trailers here.

Paris got sold the other day at a Katrina slave auction fundraiser. She would just like everyone to know that she is "so not sexual" in real life. Interesting Paris. You had everyone completely fooled with ’1 Night in Paris’.[link]

Part man. Part machine. All professor. Syracuse U. PhD candidate Peter
"Robocop" Weller has role as expert commentator on History Channels’s
Rome: Engineering an Empire. In other news ED209 to host Jeopardy.

Katie Holmes considers changing her name to "Kate Cruise", both
personally and professionally; reportedly okay with that whole
"sounding like a male prostitute" thing.

Murder Inc thought to be behind 50 Cent, Jam Master Jay shootings; at least they won’t be sued for false advertising.

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!

  Enough about the "S" being too small.  Movie-makers spend a month getting Superman’s package just right.

School district shocked to find kids are wagering lunch money on spider
fights. Don King reportedly trying to lure black widow spiders to sign
with him.

Ballroom
dancing champion
   goes on a drunken rampage, tries to kill partner with
the kind of smooth grace not seen since the allemande graced the dance
halls of Vienna.

Arnold Schwarzenegger rejects gay marriage legislation, claiming that
professional weight lifting offers enough homoeroticism on its own.

Bad: Chinese restaurant offers possibly illegal stir-fried tiger meat
dish. Worse: It’s actually donkey meat dressed with tiger urine.