Katie Couric, Signing Off

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katie couric.JPGKatie Couric doesn’t take over the CBS Evening News until September (until then they won’t report the news– they’re just crossing thier fingers and hoping nothing happens), but people are already talking. One of the big questions on everybody’s mind: what will Katie’s sign-off be? Katie recently joked that she’ll end the show with, “Peace out, homies,” but something tells me that’s not going to happen. If she does want to be creative and hip, though, and stand out from the competition, here are a couple of suggestions:


*Peace in the middle east. Well, not literally…
*If you got em, smoke em.
*One.
*Catch you on the flip side… but don’t flip the channel, Two And A Half Men is on next!
*–in lieu of actual sign off, will bring out African American stage hand and perform a complicated handshake with him before pounding chest and flashing ‘peace’ sign at the camera–
*Couric, OUT!
*That’s all for tonight, I’m Katie Couric. Hasta la vista, baby! Get it? The Terminator. Get it? *sigh*

What do you think it should be?

FYC: Sigourney Weaver Touches Inner-Monkey

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This morning, Sigourney Weaver made a guest appearance on The View to talk about her 1988 movie Gorillas in the Mist (it was a slow week) and went absolutely ape-sh*t. Ladies and Gentleman, for your consideration…

SIZZLER: K-Fed’s Guide to Better Parenting

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kevin_federline.jpgIn a recent interview, wannabe rapper and soon-to-be recipient of the world’s most anticipated “Dear John” letter, Kevin Federline shares some of his wisdom on the subject of proper parenting. K-Fed says he doesn’t believe in spoiling children and vows to make sure his kids “don’t have it easy” growing up. Some other choice quotes:

“It’s completely unfair when a child is brought into this world and now he’s already looked at like a prince.”

“My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don’t have it easy with me. Period.”

“My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit.”

I find it hard to believe that the children of America’s biggest pop princess will be slanging Gorditas at Taco Bell, but then again it’s not uncommon for boys to follow in the footsteps of their fathers. Also, I really don’t think Kevin needs to worry about making sure his kids don’t have an easy life – he accomplished that at the moment of conception, and he’s releasing his rap album for good measure.

SIZZLER: First Pictures of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Sold

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JOLIEPITT.jpgEveryone be super nice to US Weekly, because they’re probably really upset about losing the exclusive rights to the first pictures of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. It was rumored a few weeks ago that the couple were selling the first baby pictures to the magazine for $5 million. But now it seems they’ve decided to sell the pictures to Getty Images, a photo house that will make Shiloh’s image accessible to all magazines for a fee, eradicating any possible competition between tabloid publications. Great so now nobody wins (except the poor, hungry children that Jolie and Pitt will donate the money to.) It just doesn’t seem fair.

CONTEST: Win Cool Raconteurs Stuff

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The Raconteurs have a cool frontman (Jack White), a cool website (if you miss the 80′s), a cool video, and a cool band name (except in Australia where they’re The Saboteurs.) Well that’s fine, but guess what we have.

We here at BWE have a bunch of cool Raconteurs merchandise that we want to give away. CDs, vinyl, posters. You name it. Email us at contests@bwe.tv right now to enter. At the end of the day we’ll randomly pick a winner.

Contest closed! Congratulations to Kim Melioris, who won the following:

  • Broken Boy Soldiers Full Length Vinyl
  • “Steady As She Goes”/”Store Bought Bones” 7-inch
  • “Steady As She Goes” CD single
  • Raconteurs poster
  • Raconteurss pin

Is Copperfield the New Fertility Drug?

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david_copperfield.jpgEver since David Blaine submerged himself in a fishbowl for a week and nearly died live on camera, no one’s falling for the same old magic tricks anymore. So David Copperfield, once a leader in the industry, has cast aside his white tigers and disappearing acts, and is now embarking on the biggest magic trick ever: he will attempt to impregnate a woman live on stage. Copperfield tells PageSix.com: “There is a great deal of new territory to conquer…Naturally, there won’t be any sex.” But presumably there will be a swimming pool, body fluids and a lot of ‘heavy petting.’ Yeah we were warned about this trick in sex ed.

While You Were Coping With Paris Hilton’s Music

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  • When somebody put on Paris’ new single during a recent party at Caesar’s Palace, sister Nicky Hilton did exactly what all of us would do – grabbed the nearest bottle of Grey Goose and drank until the sounds of sluttiness were drowned in vodka.
  • If anything can re-build the bridge of friendship between Lindsay and Paris after the “firecrotch” debacle, it is the hypnotic beauty of Karl Lagerfeld’s plastic face.
  • Baseball announcer and 80′s sitcom star Bob Uecker filed a restraining order against his stalker. The Englishman who played Mr. Belvedere defended his actions, claiming he was just trying to “catch up” with his old co-star when he was caught outside Uecker’s home, and that he was only masturbating because “he was bored”.
  • If you just can’t wait to find out who are this year’s winners of the only awards more irrelevant than “World’s Greatest Grandpa”, the annual Jim Carrey Appreciation Night MTV Movie Awards results are available here. But you’ll still have to wait until Thursday to find out who will win the coveted trophy for “most blatant and awkward attention-whoring publicity stunt”.
  • If there’s one thing we learned about Brangelina’s Namibity, it’s that many African nations are plagued by abject poverty and suffering. If there are two things we learned, it’s that “Namibia Is For Lovers”. Now you can remember the latter lesson forever by getting one of these fetching T-shirts.

Jaleel White: Still Alive Looking For Work

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steve urkel.jpgLOS ANGELES, California (AP) — Jaleel White, who played ‘nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel on “Family Matters” was found dead Monday. He was 29 years old.White was pronounced dead on arrival after admission to an LA hospital early Monday morning.

Calm down. Calm down. According to Black Entertianment, Jaleel White is not dead. An e-mail hoax has been circulating around the Internet that claims the actor, best known for his role as Steve Urkel on “Family Matters,” was found dead Monday of an apparent suicide.

I’m glad Urkel’s ok. Though I am upset that I’ll no longer be able to wear the “Did I Do That? 1976-2006″ T-shirt I made when I heard the news.

So to sum it all up: Jaleel White’s alive… and hungry. Seriously. And he’s got time to kill to, so if you have any work for him he’d appreciate it. (Read the full fake email by clicking below)
Read more…

SIZZLER: Daughtry Breaks Fuel’s Heart

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daughtry1.jpgRemember last month when Chris Daughtry, the American Idol cast-off, was asked to join the band Fuel? Everyone thought he’d heartily accept the offer to be the band’s frontman, but Daughtry said he’d have think about it. (Which is the rock equivalent of responding to an ‘I Love You’ with a ‘Thanks’).

Well, after a month of deliberating the pros and cons of joining a one hit wonder 90′s band, Daughtry has an answer for Fuel: hell no. “I’m going to be doing my own thing,” Chris explained sympathetically to Fuel via the press. He “expects to announce his next career move in a few months, probably after the ‘American Idol concert tour ends this summer,” and hopefully after the band’s broken heart has mended. Meanwhile, Fuel is back to looking for a new lead singer. If they’re searching for more unchartered TV talent, we recommend they check out America’s Most Talented Kids on PAX. Those kids are a little more in Fuel’s league.