SIZZLER: Brandon To Apologize on Camera?

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brandon_paris.jpgIt looks like some good may finally come out of this whole Firecrotch debacle (besides seeing Brandon Davis get verbally bitch-slapped.) It looks like the viewing public may get to see the oil heir grovel. Unsatisfied with his ‘alleged’ apology (confirmed only by the diplomatic Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis ), Lindsay Lohan is reportedly demanding that Brandon make a formal apology on camera. And that’s not all, In Touch is reporting she also wants him to make a $250,000 donation to the charity of her choice. Bravo Lindsay, well played!! There’s only one thing we at Best Week Ever enjoy more than seeing celebrity justice served, and that’s $250,000.

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Have you been gorging yourself on Gnarls Barkley to the point of nausea? Want to hear something different, but similar? Luckily, Gorilla vs Bear points us to a free download of DangerDoom’s EP, Occult Hymn.
  • Or if that’s not Gnarly enough for you, head over to MOKB to hear Nelly Furtado’s cover of the omnipresent song you’re going to end up hating very soon.
  • What happens when you give dance punk a couple valiums and an acoustic guitar? Three amazingly mellow tracks from Rock Kills Kids, which you can hear for yourself over at Harmonium.
  • I’ve become as completely obsessed as YANP is about Bishop Allen and their ridiculously good EP-every-month project. If you listen, you probably will too.
  • If you’re not already crying yourself to sleep at night to the melancholy genius of Thom Yorke’s new solo album, you just aren’t looking hard enough.

SIZZLER: McConaughey and Cruz Split

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cruz.jpgIt looks like we’ve lost another celebrity couple to scheduling. According to People Magazine, Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey have called it quits after a two year relationship that began on the set of the movie Sahara. Their publicists jointly announced they “have decided to take time off as a couple. Due to busy work schedules and so much time apart, they mutually decided four weeks ago that separating was the best thing to do at this time.”

Hmmm, something’s fishy here: we find it hard to believe that after two years, the couple broke up because they just couldn’t the find the time. We think this is just an elaborate cover up, so no one will find out that Penelope’s still carrying on a passionate affair with ex-boyfriend Tom Cruise. Yeah, we’re sure Tom would want to keep that a secret.

Five Good Reasons To Write About Tera Patrick’s FHM Cover

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terapatrick.jpg1. Because a porn star breaking boundaries and posing for the cover of FHM in the UK and US is a feel-good story. More specifically, it’s a feel-good in your pants story.
2. Because those gloves are just to die for! I wonder where she got them!?!?
3. Because it’s not every day you see a scantily clad big-breasted woman gracing the cover of a men’s magazine. Oh wait, it is everyday? Ok, nevermind.
4. Because there aren’t many things going on in the world that are more important than the star of Ass Angels posing for FHM.
5. Because this signifies a changing of the guard. Jenna Jameson- we’ve moved on from your blonde haired big breasted freaky dirty pornstar ways. We like brunettes now.

pic via Hollywood Tuna

ICYMI: When Larry Met Ricky

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rickylarry.jpgOkay, so this post is only for the true comedy nerd. The Sound of Young America (a wonderful resource for comedy-related matters) has posted a cool series of YouTube videos documenting a conversation between Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David and creator/star of Britain’s original The Office, Ricky Gervais. These clips are kind of long (they total up to almost an hour) and talky, but fascinating for anyone who’s interested in hearing a lively discussion between two modern comedy geniuses.

Are Vaughniston the New Bennifer?

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jenvinceBefore their movie The Break Up premiered today, the media was absolutely convinced that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were engaged/living together/utterly smitten, but after seeing the movie, it looks like most critics are not so convinced. The review of The Break Up in today’s New York Times, says the couple have zero chemistry. Film buff A.O. Scott, admits he has trouble believing “for a moment that they cared for each other.” The Salt Lake Tribune finds “no emotional connection” between the twosome. And The Ottawa Citizen puts it most bluntly: “there is no real chemistry between Vaughn and Aniston.”

These reviews do not bode well for the future of Vaughniston. Historically speaking, couples with no on-screen chemistry have a 99.9% chance of breaking up, just ask TomKidman and Bennifer #1. But some lucky couples have beaten the odds and stayed together in spite of tepid reviews. Unfortunately for Aniston, Brangelina is the only one that comes to mind.

It’s June 2nd; What’s up?

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tv set.jpgIs it June 11th yet? Honestly, I’m sick and tired of waiting for the new season of Entourage to begin. Just bring me Vinnie Chase and Drama and Turtle and even E, and I’ll be a happy guy. In the meantime, though, there’s a bunch of stuff to tide us over. This weekend we have the Ms. World competition (which I don’t think I ever heard of before… oh well), a movie on the Sci-Fi channel called Boo (which reminds me of that hilarious Kids In The Hall skit), and the season finales of The Sopranos and Big Love. On top of that, my pick of the weekend is Patton Oswalt and Damien “Jr. Gong” Marley on The Henry Rollins Show. What are YOU watching this weekend? Vote now!

POLL: The Claymaniacs vs. The Letotics

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aiken2.jpgAt first glance, Jared Leto and Clay Aiken would seem to little in common, but the similarities are surprising. They’re both musicians known more for their celebrity than their songwriting. They’re both somewhat ambiguous about their sexuality. And they’ve both cultivated a rabidly protective fan base despite making music that isn’t very good. Every time I so much as allude to Aiken, I’m guaranteed dozens of comments from his defensive fans, The Claymaniacs. And yesterday’s Jared Leto translator surprisingly resulted in a similar response from his equally volatile fan base, The Letotics. Notice the number 1 and 2 “most discussed” posts over on the right. Now please take a moment to peruse the comment sections of these two posts, then vote on whose fans you think are most likely to show up here at Vh1 with a sniper rifle and a score to settle.

SIZZLER: K-Fed’s Kids to Sell Gorditas

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kfed3.jpgPapa Federline has revealed that he doesn’t plan to spoil his four kids. In fact, he wants them to get a taste of the real world at an early age. In his Item magazine interview, Kevin told the press, “My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is…My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit.” Strangely, life for Kevin is all about Colt 45′s. But I guess he wants for his kids what he never had.

Ask The Messiah!

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When Brad decided to leave Jennifer in the dust and procreate with the goddess that is Angelina Jolie, he wasn’t doing it for selfish reasons– he was doing it for humanity.

Finally after months of hard work and thousands of frequent flyer miles to and from Africa accumulated, the couple brought the new Messiah into the world last week… and named her Shiloh. I’m sure you have questions for her. Well, Shiloh has answers. Type a yes/no question in the box above and prepare to be blown away by her infinite wisdom. Just don’t ask her about her ridiculous name… she tends to be sensitive about that.