While You Were Waking Up to Another Monday

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  • Paul McCartney’s soon to be ex, Heather Mills, once posed for porn pictures, but she it did for the baby seals.
  • Kristin Cavallari may replace Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazzard prequel, and in Hollywood.
  • Lindsay Lohan drops out of next movie. Luckily her life’s giving us enough entertainment.
  • Scientology is joining forces with NASCAR. It’s time to evacuate the country.
  • Tom Green involved in near-deadly fishing accident. Perfect for a Tom Green special.
  • Avril Lavigne wants to quit singing in order to act. But does she really need a reason?
  • An OJ Simpson sex tape is rumored to exist. Almost as embarrassing as being on trial for double murder..
  • Shiloh Nouvel has already received loads in free swag. They’re just giving stuff away at the Playstation/AOL tent in Namibia.

Best Night Ever: Sunday, June 4th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, June 4th! Robin Hopkins is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simpsons, Sopranos, and The Simple Life!

Taylor Hicks Is Tired

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Your American Idol Taylor Hicks dropped by the BWE studios this week to thank his beloved Soul Patrol for all their love and support. Judging by Taylor’s glossed over eyes and exhausted demeanor, it’s been a loooooooong week. Hey, nobody ever said being an Idol was easy.

If you’re a member of the Soul Patrol, this one’s for you. WOOO!

Shuffling Towards the Weekend: the Battle!

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For this week’s Shuffle Battle, we’re going to do something a little different and use a little imagination by shuffling the celebrity guest’s playlists for them. In keeping with today’s theme, our guests this week are Jared Leto and Clay Aiken. Jared’s is taken from his iTunes celebrity playlist. Clay’s is based on the cover songs he likes to perform. Vote on which is better, then as always, post your own first five shuffled songs in the comments!shuffle.jpg

Jared Leto:

“Rabbit In Your Headlights” – UNKLE
“On My Own” – The Used
“Attack” – 30 Seconds to Mars (surprise, surprise)
“Closer” – Nine Inch Nails
“Message In a Bottle” – The Police

Clay Aiken:

“Bridge Over Troubled Water” – Simon & Garfunkle
“Solitaire” – Neil Sedaka
(you’ll have to use your imagination on the next three, as the article doesn’t give specific songs)
Melodies – Elvis Presley
Cover Song – Goo Goo Dolls
Cover Song – Sam Cooke

SIZZLER: Oprah Is A Dumb Broad

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“Oprah is full of s***. Nobody has the courage to say that Oprah is full of s***. She’s not some beneficent person, she’s just a person capable of doing incredible good, exposing people to reading, exposing people to Maya Angelou and Toni Morrison, or she can just be a dumb b*** sh***ing on rap, sh***ing on poor black people, it’s possible to be both things at once.”

And just like that, Killer Mike ensures he’ll never promote an album on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Some say it’s his worst career decision since he decided to go by the name Killer Mike. If I were him I’d watch my back… we all know what Oprah’s vagina is capable of.

Read Mr. Killer’s full diatribe here.

SIZZLER: Brandon To Apologize on Camera?

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brandon_paris.jpgIt looks like some good may finally come out of this whole Firecrotch debacle (besides seeing Brandon Davis get verbally bitch-slapped.) It looks like the viewing public may get to see the oil heir grovel. Unsatisfied with his ‘alleged’ apology (confirmed only by the diplomatic Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis ), Lindsay Lohan is reportedly demanding that Brandon make a formal apology on camera. And that’s not all, In Touch is reporting she also wants him to make a $250,000 donation to the charity of her choice. Bravo Lindsay, well played!! There’s only one thing we at Best Week Ever enjoy more than seeing celebrity justice served, and that’s $250,000.

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Have you been gorging yourself on Gnarls Barkley to the point of nausea? Want to hear something different, but similar? Luckily, Gorilla vs Bear points us to a free download of DangerDoom’s EP, Occult Hymn.
  • Or if that’s not Gnarly enough for you, head over to MOKB to hear Nelly Furtado’s cover of the omnipresent song you’re going to end up hating very soon.
  • What happens when you give dance punk a couple valiums and an acoustic guitar? Three amazingly mellow tracks from Rock Kills Kids, which you can hear for yourself over at Harmonium.
  • I’ve become as completely obsessed as YANP is about Bishop Allen and their ridiculously good EP-every-month project. If you listen, you probably will too.
  • If you’re not already crying yourself to sleep at night to the melancholy genius of Thom Yorke’s new solo album, you just aren’t looking hard enough.

SIZZLER: McConaughey and Cruz Split

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cruz.jpgIt looks like we’ve lost another celebrity couple to scheduling. According to People Magazine, Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey have called it quits after a two year relationship that began on the set of the movie Sahara. Their publicists jointly announced they “have decided to take time off as a couple. Due to busy work schedules and so much time apart, they mutually decided four weeks ago that separating was the best thing to do at this time.”

Hmmm, something’s fishy here: we find it hard to believe that after two years, the couple broke up because they just couldn’t the find the time. We think this is just an elaborate cover up, so no one will find out that Penelope’s still carrying on a passionate affair with ex-boyfriend Tom Cruise. Yeah, we’re sure Tom would want to keep that a secret.

Five Good Reasons To Write About Tera Patrick’s FHM Cover

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terapatrick.jpg1. Because a porn star breaking boundaries and posing for the cover of FHM in the UK and US is a feel-good story. More specifically, it’s a feel-good in your pants story.
2. Because those gloves are just to die for! I wonder where she got them!?!?
3. Because it’s not every day you see a scantily clad big-breasted woman gracing the cover of a men’s magazine. Oh wait, it is everyday? Ok, nevermind.
4. Because there aren’t many things going on in the world that are more important than the star of Ass Angels posing for FHM.
5. Because this signifies a changing of the guard. Jenna Jameson- we’ve moved on from your blonde haired big breasted freaky dirty pornstar ways. We like brunettes now.

pic via Hollywood Tuna

ICYMI: When Larry Met Ricky

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rickylarry.jpgOkay, so this post is only for the true comedy nerd. The Sound of Young America (a wonderful resource for comedy-related matters) has posted a cool series of YouTube videos documenting a conversation between Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David and creator/star of Britain’s original The Office, Ricky Gervais. These clips are kind of long (they total up to almost an hour) and talky, but fascinating for anyone who’s interested in hearing a lively discussion between two modern comedy geniuses.