CELEBRITY TRANSLATOR: 30 Seconds to Barf

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Tuesday night Jimmy Kimmel Live hosted a very special musical guest – actor Jared Leto’s band, 30 Seconds to Mars. As the heartthrob’s gothic pop-metal lyrics were often mumbled and just silly, we fired up the old Celebrity Translator to figure out just what the hell he was singing about. Grab some earplugs, watch the video and see for yourselves!

SIZZLER: Fall Out Boy Hates Kidz

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pete11.jpgProductShopNYC points us to an interesting story about Pete Wentz, bassist for Fall Out Boy and amateur pornographer, getting his Hot Topic panties into a wad over a cover of his band’s song “Dance, Dance” on the latest Kidz Bop album. For those of you who don’t know, Kidz Bop is a series of albums for kids in which popular rock and pop songs are re-imagined and adorably shouted by a chorus of young children. In the past, they’ve covered artists like Modest Mouse, Madonna and Weezer – none of whom ever had a problem with it. But here’s what Fall Out Boy had to say on their blog:

We don’t know what’s going on, because they can use a song without your permission. However, I can’t imagine some young kids singing ‘crawling into bed with me’ and all. If they change the lyrics, I believe they need to get permission. We’re looking into it.”

So to recap – taking pictures of your johnson, then using the resulting scandal to sell your crappy music is ok. Kids innocently singing said crappy songs – totally wrong.

SIZZLER: Lindsay Lohan’s New Addiction

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lindsay_lohan_dec22_small.jpgIt seems that troubled young actress has fallen victim to yet another troubling addiction : shopaholism. According to MSNBC, “the 19-year-old reportedly has been known to spend $100,000 a day, once allegedly blowing $20,000 in 20 minutes.” So now she’s reportedly seeing a hypnotist to help break the vicious cycle.

Sure she’s allegedly battled an eating disorder and drug and alcohol problems but over-shopping is far more dangerous for her career. You may not believe it now, but over shopping is a gateway drug to shop-lifting (see Wynona Ryder.) Our hope is that we can nip this problem in the bud for Lindsay loses her meager $7 million and her status in Hollywood. In the meantime we encourage her to stick with sexy addictions like over-partying and to stay away from career killers like shopaphoria or worse yet, tanorexia.

YouTube, Ratner Takes

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I’ve always said that X-Men 3 auteur Brett Ratner is a hacky director, but stealing dialogue from the Internet? The first video below is a re-dubbed X-Men cartoon that became an extremely popular viral video several months ago (language NSFW). The second is a scene from X-Men 3 that appears to rip off pay tribute to the catchphrase “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” from the aforementioned spoof. Wonder if the college kids who created it got a WGA credit for the line?

(via Wizbang Pop)

While You Were Dressing for Success

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SIZZLER: McPhee to Sing at TomKat Wedding?

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tomkat.jpgTom Cruise and Katie Holmes have asked American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee to sing at their wedding. According to sources, “Actress Holmes reportedly met McPhee at Los Angeles’ Church of Scientology, where the singer allegedly attended courses with her boyfriend, and has since become a huge fan.” McPhee is expected to sing her now famous cover of Somewhere Over the Rainbow from the Wizard of Oz. I guess Tom’s just really big fan of Dorothy.

Best Night Ever: Wednesday, May 31st

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It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, May 31st! Shea Hess is here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including Gameshow Marathon, So You Think You Can Dance?, The Hills, and Cheyenne!

…Of The Day

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  • BODY PART: Chins, as in the 10 Big-Ass Chins of Female Hollywood (via Cityrag)
  • 3 HAPPY WORDS: Natalie Portman: Nude! (Egotastic)
  • TIMEWASTER: Deadspin pointed us out to this list of the Ten YouTube Vids You Gotta See. The kid getting hit in the head with a basketball will always be my favorite. (The Armchair GM)
  • PORNO: With this title it has the potential to be the next Shaving Ryan’s Privates. (D-Listed)
  • MY VOTE FOR THE “NEXT BIG OLYMPIC EVENT”: Bra Unsnapping. I need to start practicing now. (SmitHappens)

Brit and K-Fed’s Wedding Invitation on Ebay

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invite.jpgIn another nod to the sanctity of Britney and Kevin’s marriage, one of the guests at their wedding is selling the invitation on eBay for $999.99. And that’s not all, order your Spears-Federline wedding invitation now and receive a free candle from the event! So which guest swindled the goods from the event to peddle on e-bay? Odds are it’s someone on the Federline side of the family. (via ONTD)

ICYMI: Best. Website. Ever.

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I’ll admit it. Since the advent of sites like Google, Technorati, Friendster, MySpace and Facebook, I have spent many wonderful hours utilizing the Internet to stalk ex-girlfriends, current girlfriends, people I want to be my girlfriend, people I went to school with and pretty much every other human being I’ve ever come into contact with.

But the old way of cyberstalking was just so demanding. I had to visit each of these search portals individually to see whether or not the girl who works down the hall has an online presence. It was almost more difficult than stalking people in real life. But not anymore! Thanks to the amazing Stalkerati, I can now search for people on all the aforementioned websites from a single handy website. My days of searching across the entire web for that girl who used to be my lab partner in 7th grade are long gone!