While You Were Taking Less Time To Enjoy the View

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  • Daniel Baldwin was busted for possession of coke this week. The “fat” Baldwin, who was last seen on Celebrity Fit Club, prefers to think of it as a weight loss stimulant.
  • Meanwhile brother Alec Baldwin’s temper drove his Broadway show co-star Jan Maxwell to quit the show. She accused him of violently punching a wall, but in his defense if she had stood still he wouldn’t have hit it.
  • Sofia Coppola may be pregnant . But who should be the godfather?
  • Pete Doherty caught on tape injecting drugs into a female fan. He’s always said his fans come first.
  • David Spade is shocked by Denise Richards’ betrayal. But he’ll need to see more pictures of her to make sure.

SIZZLER: Rosie O’Donnell Joins ‘The View’

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rosie_odonnell.jpg“Extra” is reporting that Rosie O’Donnell is expected to take over Merideth Vieira’s chair at the Algonquin roundtable of daytime television known as “The View”. This shocking addition to the talk show’s estrogen-charged equation leaves the mind reeling with questions. Is Joy Behar really prepared to deal with an angry lesbian who has a daily axe to grind? Will Rosie end up leaving her life partner for a sexually-awakened Elisabeth Hasselbeck? How long before “The View” is renamed “The Show In Which Rosie O’Donnell Yells At Other Women and Occasionally Punches Star Jones-Reynolds”?

Only time – and TiVo – will tell.

BEST NIGHT EVER 4-27-06

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It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, April 27th! Jason is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including American Inventor, That 70′s Show, The O.C., and The Office!

…OF THE DAY

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  • HEADLINE: “Exxon Quarterly Profit 5th Highest Ever” (AP)
  • MISGUIDED OUTRAGE: Jay Leno is being criticized for bad gay jokes, yet continues getting away with all the bad everything else jokes. (Canada.com)
  • SCARIEST PREDATOR SINCE ‘THE PREDATOR’: Police released sketches depicting a truly terrifying rape suspect. (DoubleViking)
  • CRUSHING, TORTUROUS DISAPPOINTMENT: Jessica Alba ALMOST let a nipple slip. Sorta like being one number away from winning the lottery. (Egotastic)
  • YESTERDAY’S GARBAGE: Amy Fisher is blaming her use of ecstasy for her decision to shoot Joey Buttafuoco’s wife in the face back in 1992. (Yahoo! News)
  • SPECIAL OLYMPICS GOLD MEDALIST: Judge Judy, who has the top daytime court show for the 500th straight week. (Netscape News)
  • FAD YOU SHOULD PRAY DOESN’T CATCH ON: Internet slang jewelry – ‘OMG’ is right. (BoingBoing)

Omarosa’s New Reality Boobs

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omorsa.jpgOmarosa, the lovable villain from back in the day when people still watched The Apprentice, will do anything to get on another reality show. Sure she’s drawn out her career with appearances on Fear Factor and the Surreal Life, but as her options dwindle she’s had to be more creative.

So before she gets packed into a time capsule with Crunk Juice and Jason Alexander, quick-thinking Omarosa has opted to get a boob job on Discovery Health Channel’s Plastic Surgery: Before and After. We’re not sure what will land her more work: bigger boobs or another reality show appearance. Perhaps the combination will land her one last invitation to the Blockbuster Awards. I hear they have great gift bags.

(via crunk and disorderly)

While You Were Questioning The Truth About CharLie

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  • Bon Jovi has made history by becoming the first rock band to top the US Country charts. And just like that, shouting along to “Living On A Prayer” becomes a little less fun for everybody at the Jersey Shore.
  • A woman claiming to be Charlie Sheen’s ex-girlfriend is suing him for using their romance as a storyline on Two & A Half Men. Lawyers are said to be avoiding the case because nobody wants to actually sit down and watch Two & A Half Men.
  • Organizers of an Austrian music festival are worried that there will be problems if Pink and Paris Hilton cross paths. It would probably be the worst thing to happen at the festival, right behind watching Pink or Paris Hilton perform.
  • Forget about playing M:I3 on your Playstation at home– Tom Cruise does not lend his likeness to video games. Because The Cruise is all about living in reality, man. Now can somebody pass him his E-Meter?
  • Keira Knightley has been named “The World’s Sexiest Woman” according to an FHM poll of the British public. Americans concede that the British got this one right… but we’re still not going along with the whole soccer thing, okay?

CAPTION THIS: What’s James Thinking?

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James Mardsen is currently filming the upcoming Disney movie Enchanted in New York’s Time Square and based on this picture, he’s got a lot on his mind. Here’s what we think he’s thinking:

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I think the squirrel that’s nesting in my left shoulder just had her babies.

Now it’s your turn: What’s going through Prince Largeshoulders’ head?
(more pics at Just Jared)

Where Are They Now?

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Head over to Worth1000 right now for yet another amazing photoshop contest. This time, they show you what happens to your favorite celebrities when their five minutes of fame are up. Some are predictable (see: Pee Wee Herman), some are unfortunate (Mike Tyson), and some are hilarious (Michael Jackson.) Tom Cruise working at a pharmacy, though… that’s my favorite. “Hi, welcome to Target… now stop being so glib.”

Check out all of the entries here.

Finally, A Perfect Remake!

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strangers.jpgIt seems like Hollywood is intent on turning every sitcom and series in TV history into a big-screen adaptation, usually with underwhelming results. But our friends at Revolution Studios have finally hit the nail on the head in their decision to give the Tinseltown treatment to 80′s sitcom staple “Perfect Strangers“, with Bruce Willis and Halle Berry in the starring roles.

But I’m a little confused about one thing: even though there was always a sexual subtext between roommates Larry and Balki, are the filmmakers throwing a crazy gender-bending twist into the equation and having Halle Berry play Balki as a female? If so, there could be an amazing love scene where the two roommates finally address the sexual tension between them, giving Halle another chance to set the screen on fire like she did in Monster’s Ball.

“Larry, make me feel gooooood!”

Is Jessica Alba Having the Best Week Ever?

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jessica_alba_slip_us_2_big.jpgKeira Knightley may have stolen Kate Moss’s job and Jennifer Love Hewitt may have a cute new haircut, but Jessica Alba is definitely having the best week ever.

Let’s examine the facts: She’s nominated for not one but two MTV Movie Awards for her work in Sin City and, believe it or not, Fantastic Four. But she’s not just a hot super hero, she’s also one of People Magazine’s Most Beautiful People in the World, thanks to all her inner-beauty.

But the real reason her week is going so well, is because she avoided a near-fatal nip slip. At Us Weekly’s recent Hot Hollywood Awards, Jessica almost shared the fate of straight-to-video vixen Tara Reid, when her dress strap fell down. Alba, who famously rebuked Playboy for insinuating she posed nude, has worked hard to be both hot babe and serious actress. And thanks to her good fortune this week she can remain chaste until she finds the right role that really challenges her to take her top off.