Only a week after the first photos of Brangelina’s Amazing Baby Messiah blew the minds of the entire universe, Matt Damon and his wife quietly put forth their humble offering to the ever-growing nursery of celebrity offspring when their new daughter was born on Sunday. While Damon’s agent is still holding out for a $5 million deal with People Magazine for the exclusive rights to Baby’s First Photospread, pitches have already gone out to a number of tabloids. Perez Hilton has reportedly offered the proud parents a $20 Gift Card to Starbucks, along with a couple list spots at an upcoming Skyy Vodka promo party if they’ll send him a camera pic of the newborn. If Damon was really smart about his next career move, he’d ditch that no-name wife of his and cut a deal to do some serious baby-making with Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson or something. But for now, there can be only one Shiloh.
Denise Richards finally figures out what it will take to get Charlie Sheen to notice her.
In honor of the #1 opening for Disney’s Cars, which happens to feature the immeasurable vocal talents of comedic genius Larry the Cable Guy, we offer this video of Larry back when he was Dan Whitney, just another mulleted bad stand-up comic from the 80′s. Makes you kind of wonder what sort of traumatic life experience causes one to change their name, rip off their sleeves, and start talking like an inbred, mentally-retarded member of the KKK. Git-R-Done, Dan Whitney!
(via Dead Frog)
1. Pixar laps the competition with the greatest movie about automobiles since 1988′s License To Drive – and without the help of Corey Haim! – $62.8 million
2. A lot of frat guys are scoring a lot of brownie points with their naively romantic sorority girlfriends – $20.5 million
3. This heat surrounding this movie cooled off like Iceman gave it a full-body Shiatsu massage with a happy ending – $15.6 million
4. Maybe this means we won’t be subjected to 777: The Slot Machine’s Story next July – $15.5 million
5. I’m sure this movie is good and all, but I’ve still got my fingers crossed for a CGI version of Cathy, as voiced by Rosie O’Donnell. That Cathy’s so hilariously frazzled! – $10.3 million
There’s so much on tonight, I don’t know where to start. Wait– yes I do. Let’s start with the Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship on A&E, without a doubt the most ridiculous competition on the planet (besides the Real World Road Rules Challenge, of course.) On TNT we have the series premiere of Saved, starring the drummer from That Thing You Do! and the season premiere of The Closer starring the woman from Singles who married Kevin Bacon. Tonight we also usher in a new season of Hell’s Kitchen on Fox and ABC’s new reality show How To Get The Guy. Now, if cooking and/or picking up men doesn’t interest you, I recommend you tune into the 2-hour series finale of Monster Garage on Discovery or a new episode of Fast Inc. on MTV. See, I told you there’s a lot on. So what are YOU watching? Vote now!
Thanks to garble for Dropping this video that shows what would happen if you mashed up U2 with George W. Bush. Somebody took the time to cut and splice a bunch of W’s speeches to make it appear as if he’s singing “Sunday Bloody Sunday.” Watch the video now so you can see what U2 would be like if they had a frontman who was less politically active than Bono.
Got something of your own that you’d want us to check out? Drop it now!
- Brangelina and The New Messiah have stepped through the magic wardrobe, tumbling back into Malibu. And thus concluded The Chronicles of Namibia.
- Two things that don’t belong in the same sentence: “Adam Sandler” and “Drama About 9/11 Victims’ Families”.
- Jared Leto and Jessica Simpson? Well, nothing says “edgy indie rocker” quite like Nick Lachey’s leftovers.
- And why shouldn’t Britney’s bodyguarding babysitter have his own fake MySpace page? Head over to MannySpace and give him an add!
- Was troubled soccer legend Diego Maradona blowing rails on national television? You make the call!
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, June 11th! Robin Hopkins is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Tony Awards, Entourage, and Deadwood!
- BETRAYAL: Anderson Cooper gets outed by his very own I-Pod. (Jossip)
- MIGHTY WIND: The monotony of an Il Divo performance during the world cup is broken by Toni Braxton’s granny panties. (Faded Youth)
- PROOF THAT PUBERTY’S STILL GOT A FEW YEARS ON ASHTON: Remember folks, no beard is better than a patchy beard. (cityrag)
- CATHOUSE: It’s a pussy fest on this all-new all-cat reality show. (WOW Report)
- DAY: July 1st is National Whitney Houston Day. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em. (Crunk & Disorderly)
For the past 9 years, Meredith Vieira has led her co-hosts in conversations about everything from sex to politics, but mostly she’s done her best to keep Joy Behar from clubbing Star Jones with a coffee mug. So raise a glass to Meredith and pour one out for Star, because now that Meredith’s gone, b*tch is going down.