Best Night Ever: Sunday, August 13th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, August 13th! Michael is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simple Life, The Girls Next Door, and Big Brother!

Best Of The Best Week Ever

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basselhoff.JPGHere is what we learned this week, kids:

Have a good weekend, all!

…OF THE DAY

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  • AWKWARD AD: Katherine McPhee looks like she’s McParalyzed. And, McNo, the McJokes will not get any McFunnier. (DListed)
  • WE’VE REACHED OUR CREDIT LIMIT: Britney Spears gives K-Fed a highly coveted Black Centurion American Express Card. Cause every man’s card should match the race he pretends to be, right? (TMZ)
  • BAD NEIGHBOR: Jodie Foster is unfriendly to her Manhattan neighbors. They best watch out: Bitch will cut you with that razor-sharp grimace of hers. (Page Six)
  • SHLONG STORY: R. Kelly‘s cousin, Damon Kelly, is an adult film star who’s next movie will be entitled Nite Lite… Day Lite. You know there’s a cousin somewhere in the fam who’s like a famous scientist or doctor, soooo jealous he’s not in the news right now. (Six Shot)
  • BABY SURI SIGHTING: This one really brings us back to the sixth grade. (Junkiness)

ICYMI: PS3 Goes Wii Wii Wii All the Way Home

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We thought our take on the Mac vs. PC Ads was funny, but these parody videos are getting out of control! However, this one puts a pretty hilarious spin on the whole cool/uncool techie thing, using a frumpy girl and hot chick to illustrate why Nintendo’s Wii game system is far superior to the new Playstation 3! Why didn’t we think of that?

(via Gorillamask)

ICYMI: Truth Is What Made Michael Moore So Fat

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I don’t know why I love this video so much, but I just do. Hear what this group of random celebs (James Blunt, Pete Doherty, Madonna, Bono & Michael Moore?) has to say about not being able to attend the Pop Video Awards in London. Oh those cheeky Brits!

Shuffling Towards the Weekend!

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shuffle1.jpgOn this week’s edition of the iPod shuffle, we have music blogger Rachel Hurley, the proprietor of Scenestars. As always, we had her shuffle her iPod and give us the first five resulting songs so that we may judge her. So let’s just see what these super-cool music bloggers are listening to these days (something tells me it’s all going to be Arctic Monkeys and Arcade Fire). Be sure to do your own shuffle and leave your results in the comments!

1) “Speak To Me”, Jamie Randolph
2) “Stop”, Harlan T. Bobo
3) “Regime”, Snowglobe
4) “The Blower’s Daughter”, Damien Rice
5) “La Cienga Just Smiled”, Ryan Adams

Why am I not surprised that I’ve never even heard of half of these songs?

SIZZLER: Lou Diamond Phillips Is Back, Baby!

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LDP.jpgIt’s not every day that we get to type the words Lou Diamond Phillips, which is sort of a shame considering how glorious they sound. Just say that out loud to yourself, “Lou Diamond Phillips”. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Anyway, LDP (that’s my abbreviation for him, which now seems unnecessary considering this wordy explanation of it) was arrested last night on domestic violence charges. If I was a betting man, I’d wager that his lady friend made the mistake of suggesting that Young Guns II was not every bit as amazing as the original. We’ll never get the whole truth, but there’s one thing I know for certain: I’d pay top dollar to watch Lou Diamond Phillips, Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen get wasted with Kiefer Sutherland.

SIZZLER: Kanye Wants A Prenup

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kanye_west.jpgPeople magazine reports Kanye West has gotten engaged to his girlfriend of three years, Alexis. Now, I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, but I happen to know for a fact she ain’t messin’ with no broke…

We at BWE wish the couple the best of luck. But Kanye, don’t forget. 18 years. 18 years, she got one of your kids, got you for 18 years.

I’m just sayin’.

Celeb-Esteem Intervention, Part 2: Uma Needs Help

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uma-thurman.jpgA few weeks ago, we reported that the stunning Uma Thurman was having trouble finding love. She also was feeling down about her exotic appearance, comparing her face to that of a fish’s. While we’re not known for our “soft sides” here, we like Uma, even after being subjected to possibly the worst CGI effects of all time in My Super Ex-Girlfriend (not inlucing Jumanji, of course, but camman — those filmmakers were pioneers!) We also wear the same shoe size, which officially makes us kindred celebrity spirits, not to mention unappealing to most people.

So it is with even greater sadness that we report that Uma does not look back on her acting career as a successful one. The actress is apparently still dealing with some post-traumatic stress disorder from her pre-Pulp Fiction days, and claims to just be happy to be working in Hollywood at all. She also says that she was depressed before shooting Kill Bill, due to a nasty chainsmoking habit. Each of these items individually may not seem like much, but taken together, they worry us. We’re officially on Uma Watch! Is the woman OK? We care.

ICYMI: Win a Date with Hezbollah

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Check out this video called “Hezbollah Dating Service.” You know, when this dude isn’t spitting out hateful, racist, backward, rabidly insane rhetoric, he’s actually kind of handsome.