One of them is black, the other is white, and together they solve mysteries! It’s Psych, on USA!
Okay, I’m sure the pitch for Psych was a little more complex than that. But not much. After seeing thousands of billboards and ads for the show over the past month, I feel like I have to tune in tonight. I think I owe it to the press department.
What else is on this weekend? Well, tonight you have a brand new episode of Best Week Ever (one of my favorite shows, believe it or not), Saturday night Peaches drops by The Henry Rollins Show, and on Sunday you have all of your favorite HBO shows (Deadwood, Entourage, Lucky Louis, etc.) as well as the start of I Love The 70′s Part II. So what are YOU watching this weekend? Vote now!
Before working here, I’d never seen The View, nor had any inclination to do so. But Barbara Walters and her menopausal minions have won me over with their ability to create daytime drama unfathomable to even the soap writers over at Passions. From Merideth Vieira’s tearful farewell to Rosie O’Donnell taking her place to Babs giving Star Jones her walking papers, and with a whole bunch of minor hilarities packed in between, this talk show for women has emerged as a kind of estrogen-fueled version of WWF Wrestling, only with less tights, more Botox and roughly the same amount of elbow-drops. The latest factor in their equation of insanity is this recent announcement that Shannen Doherty, widely known for her unmatched powers of b*tchiness, will be filling Star’s empty spot for a few episodes, presumably trying out for a permanent spot on the show. The mind reels at all the possibilities for the various conflicts this move could produce, but after the jump I’ve done some free associations and listed the first few scenarios that came to mind.
Take a few minutes from your grueling workday to watch this trailer for the upcoming (and unnecessary) Rocky sequel. Be sure to look closely into the eyes of Rocky Balboa as he pontificates the inherent dangers of facing a challenge that makes Ivan Drago look like Glass Joe – the fact that he just turned 60 years old and still trying to be a boxer even though everyone sort of lost interest in him when the Cold War ended. As it so often does, art seems to be imitating life in that Sylvester Stallone, like the character he made famous, is struggling with his own fading star, desperately fighting to stay on his feet in these late rounds of his acting career. Can the legendary fighter – and the actor who created him – overcome the odds and pull out an inspiring victory, or is somebody ’bout to get knocked the f*ck out? No matter what happens, we’ll always have a veggie tray with his name on it.
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, July 6th! Alan is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including Master of Champions, Big Brother 7, and The Dudesons!
The England estate of metal god Ozzy Osbourne was engulfed in hellish flames after an
electric demonic lamp shorted out, causing a small-but-evil fire that fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on how much you’re into Sabbath – was extinguished quickly, and did not result in a Satanic offering of scorched Osbourne flesh. Nobody was hurt (no, not even the kids), and the fire only caused minor smoke damage, but the whole thing was still pretty f*cking metal. After the initial shock (or flashback) wore off, Ozzy mumbled something about his excitement to return home and resume his regular existence as a tragic-but-amusing weirdo drug-casualty.
One of the few genuine perks of covering celebrity gossip by poring over thousands of boring paparazzi pictures of assorted starlets is the beloved moment when a young celebutant’s desire for captivating cleavage gets hijacked by gravity, resulting in a brief-but-wonderful public exposure of their private parts. I am referring, of course, to the Nipple Slip. From Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” to Paris Hilton’s incessant red carpet exhibitionism, there have been many a great nipple slip in my day, which is why I was so glad to discover this revealing compilation video that pays tribute – sometimes in wonderful slow motion – to some of the best nipple slips caught on camera. So lock your office door, sit back, relax, and feel like a boob for a couple minutes as you enjoy this video celebration of celebrity over-exposure at its best. (NSFW – but you knew that)
Did we really need a second music video for Paris Hilton’s “Stars Are Blind”? Actually, did we really need a first? Well, necessary or not, another version has surfaced. Check it out.
I don’t know which one is better, the one where Paris dry humps a guy on the beach or… the other one where Paris dry humps a guy on the beach. Which one do you prefer?
(To watch Paris’ first video the way it’s meant to be seen, click here)