- Nick Carter announced that he lost his virginity to a future sex offender. No, not Paris Hilton, a different sex offender.
- Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban declared that only a “moron” would buy YouTube. He then offered them $150 million.
- Secret Service agents wouldn’t let Borat set foot in the White House to invite President Bush to a screening of his new movie. Not because they didn’t find him amusing, but because they were worried W wouldn’t get it.
- Pink has become the face of a campaign urging gay people to come out. Because there’s just something about a heterosexual musician who’s married to a professional motocross racer that screams “I’m Queer!”
- The lead singer of The Killers admitted that he hit a man with a car once, badly injuring him. He didn’t actually kill him, though, because that would’ve been soooooo cliche.
It’s Best Night Ever for Thursday, September 28th! Dan Hopper is here to walk you through the best of Thursday night tv, including My Name Is Earl, The Office, and Grey’s Anatomy!
- TAPES ‘N TAPES: The cassette generator is further proof that I am easily amused. (Says-It)
- CONSPIRACY THEORY: Could the “Screech Doing a Dirty Sanchez” video really be a big fake-out, cynically intended to drum up publicity for a fading pseudo-star? Is god real? (The AV Club)
- GRIEF COUNSELOR: The best way to deal with simultaneous birth and death of a child is to marry your sleazy lawyer. Just another lesson in Anna Nicole Smith’s Guide to Better Living Through Insanity. (Dlisted)
- GLASS-HOUSE-DWELLING STONE THROWER: David Gray, who is about 4 hitless years away from being able to criticize anyone’s pop music talent. (Idolator)
- INSIGHTFUL OBSERVATION: Lindsay Lohan, not very “low key”. (X17 Online)
- NOTE TO SELF: Don’t be such a moron and brag about all the free sh*t I get for writing about these idiots. Oops. (RADAR)
Today something amazing happened on The Megan Mullally Show. For the first time since it’s premiere, in front of a live studio audience, much to the surprise of everybody in the room… somebody laughed. Genuinely. Granted, that somebody was Megan Mullally and she was only laughing because Big from Sex And The City was tickling her, but hey… it’s a start.
Things you knew about David Bowie: 1. He is an icon; 2. He has a gift for music; 3. He might be immortal and 4. He’s unexplainably attractive… but gifted comedian? Watch the following clip of Bowie on the Ricky Gervais show Extras, and judge for yourself. Side note: “Chubby Little Loser” is in the top running for our future wedding song.
Much has been made over the Kazakhstani government’s fury about being portrayed as hilarious people with moustaches in the upcoming Borat Movie. They’ve raised $40 million dollars to produce a film to counter-balance the “negative propaganda” they fear will result from Borat‘s arrival stateside (though something tells us their cinematic endeavor won’t enjoy quite the same profits), and they’re even threatening to sue comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, the man responsible for making it so you won’t be able to walk down the street in a couple of months without hearing every other person saying, “It’s Niiiice”. But let’s take a moment and hear what Borat had to say about all of this controversey in this video message he posted on his website awhile back:
Okay, so far this entry by Mike Torres in the Billy Bob’s Board For Scoundrels Photoshop Contest has to be our favorite. Look closely and notice the brown, um, chalk, underneath Screech’s nose. Not too shabby.
Think you can top it? Click here to get your own board to work with, then email your submission to email@example.com. Right now it looks like Mike is going to take home a prize, but if anybody is able to one-up him we’ll post their entry and announce it tomorrow. Good luck!
In their recent
blowjob to interview with Jared Leto, MTV News gets the tortured musical genius to open up about just what in the hell is going on inside that sad little brain of his, so we thought this would be a good opportunity to fire up the old Celebrity Translator to shed some light on Jordan Catalano’s dark, dark soul:
“Forget the eyeliner â€” more importantly, what’s with my hat? I stole this from the guy in The Backstreet Boys, you know the one.”
TRANSLATION: Even though I wear make-up, I’ve got the balls to talk some sh*t about the Backstreet Boys. Oh, but I am way too dark and indie to actually know who they are. Seriously, make sure you print that.
“What changes [with success] is you can bring a few more lights, you can start investing in some of the ideas you’ve always had for production elements and you can present a show that’s not just four guys in jeans and T-shirts staring at their Chuck Taylors, which you can find at any given night at any bar across the country,” Leto said. “That’s fun for what it is, but we’re looking for something slightly different.”
TRANSLATION: Since I’m a pretty-boy actor who clearly lacks any discernible musical ability, my band can’t just stand on a stage and play real rock & roll. We’ve got to dress up like blood-splattered snow ninjas and do cartwheels all over the massive strobe-lit S&M dungeon setting for anyone to notice or give us even a tenth of the attention I so deserately crave.
- A Plague Of Angels has a new track off The Magic Numbers’ second album. So “Take A Chance” and download it.
- I Am Fuel, You Are Friends has uncovered a commercially unavailable M. Ward EP and posted all 4 tracks. Go get them ASAP.
- I Rock Cleveland posted a couple of songs by my new favorite band (this week), Mobius Band.
- It’s Throwback Thursday over at Instrumental Analysis. This week they’re sporting a ton of album cuts and live tracks from The Smiths. Don’t miss it.
- And finally, Neiles Life is barrelling on with their list of the 125 albums that should be in your collection. Today they have tracks by Kylie Minogue, Young MC, and yes, The Spin Doctors.
When we first caught site of these movie posters for two upcoming Tracy Morgan movies, Black Cop, White Cop and Who Dat Ninga, we immeds hot-keyed it to Fandango to pre-purchase our tickies. Upon closer inspection (and a helpful explanatory article, courtesy of EW), we realized that this is actually Tracy Jordan in these posters, Morgan’s upcoming character on the Tina Fey/NBC sitcom 30 Rock. We’re jazzed that Morgan is on a new sitcom — and with fake posters like these, on that we hope is Hilarie Clinton. But we’re not gonna say that a part of us died a little to learn that Who Dat Ninga isn’t real. It’s gotta be at least as funny as Tim Meadows‘ The Ladies Man.