ICYMI: Ashlee Does Chicago


D-Listed directed us over to this video of Ashlee– the stable Simpson sister– rehearsing for Chicago over in London. She’s sounding good… and it looks like she even breaks out her patented SNL hoedown move during one of the dances. We’re rooting for Ashlee, even though a successful theater career would delay her inevitable Playboy spread for a few years. Well, we waited for Debbie Deborah Gibson, and we’ll wait for Ashlee Simpson. We got nothing but time.

SIZZLER: Does Kathy Griffin Have A New Man?


Does Kathy Griffin have a new love in her life? The self-proclaimed D-Lister was seen smooching E! Fashion Police contributor Robert Verde following a romantic lunch date in New York City. Griffin is still overcoming the traumatic divorce from ex-hubby Matt Moline, who pilfered over $70,000 from the reality star’s bank account. But there have been no reports of a new love interest… until now. Verde could actually be the ideal match — even though he’s the complete opposite of Kathy’s ex! Lithe and uber-fashionable, Verde would be the perfect man steal brunch-time kisses with, followed by an exhausting day of shopping for bedsheets and an even more exhausting night of passionate lovemaking on them. Kudos, Kathy! Good luck to the happy couple.

ICYMI: “High” School


teacher.JPGBoingBoing points us to some hilarious footage of a University of Florida business school professor who apparently elected to get SUPER STONED (too much Cocaine drink, perhaps?) before delivering a 2-hour filmed lecture to his Principles of Management class. He didn’t manage to make much sense, but he did manage to get ridiculously high, which managed to make me laugh. He also apparently managed to get himself fired the very next day. The full lecture is available in two parts (First Hour, and Second Hour), but we suggest just watching the first few minutes, then skipping ahead to around 28:30. You’ll get the gist. But if you watch the entire two-hour video with the volume off while listening to Styx’s 1979 album Cornerstone on repeat, you will see God.

CAPTION THIS! Guiness Rolling in the Grave



Homecoming got much more interesting when Karl’s dead Grandmother agreed to be reanimated as his date.

There are abuot 2 million other caption possibilities — wipe up the vom and leave yours after the jump!

Project Runway: A Waste Of An Hour Challenge


ProjRunMich21.JPGThere seems to be yet another cheating scandal on Project Runway this week. Yes, it seems that PR has cheated the viewer out of a real challenge/ending during last night’s episode.

I don’t even think it’s possible to spoil last night’s Project Runway, hence no pussyfooting around “alerts” and the like: Nothing happened. No, seriously, nada. Here is how the episode went down: The remaining four designers were given a challenge to take $250 and do whatever they wanted with it in 2 days. Actually, it was more complicated. They had to design something that was “their style” but also “completely different”, something that would surprise the judges. The designers seemed stumped by all of the possibilities, Michael especially, who spent a good few hours sketching until he hit upon a nice enough purple prom dress, albeit one that lets your tits dangle in the fall breeze. Of course, when it turned out they didn’t have two days, rather one and a half (a sheisty move, I thought), that sketch time really cut into his design process. Laura constructed a kind of bland, same old lace-n’-bead combo, perfect for when you want to play your xylphone-clav on the subway to earn some pocket change. Jeffrey wanted to “shock” the judges, and did so by sewing together a dress that looked like a seat cover in a Trading Spaces room designed by Frank, and Uli made the earth stand still by designing a flowy-high-necked dress that let the knees out for a little air.

More ranting after the jump!

Read more…

ICYMI: “I Just Called…Oy Vey…I’m Sorry”


colbertjew.jpgOn Tuesday night’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen decided to celebrate Yom Kippur by inviting viewers to apologize, via his special “Atonement Hotline”, for all the ways they’ve wronged him this year. Colbert holding up a white rotary phone with a Star of David on it made for a pretty good bit, but the really funny thing is that it turns out the number (1-888-OOPS-JEW) actually works, and you can leave him your very own apology message which may or may not end up being played on the show. Got anything you’re feeling guilty about that you’d like to unburden upon the empathetic ears of a man known for his unwavering truthiness? We’re looking at you, Mel Gibson.

(via Pop Candy)

ICYMI: Paul F. Tompkins on the Screech Sex Tape! Not Literally!


PFT.JPGBest Week Ever‘s “Most Nattily Dressed Man”, Paul F. Tompkins, made an appearance on MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olberman last night, do discuss — what else — the Screech Sex Tape. While the two avoided making any mentions to they “rhymes with Flirty Fanchez”, Tompkins makes an excellent point: “If you’re with Screech, holding a threeway together is not easy. This girl’s starting to sober up, this girl’s passed out…” Those poor, poor things. Watch the entire video here!

YOUTUBULAR: Little Superstar Will Rule The World


Everybody and their mother has seen this Youtubular video of a tiny (Latino? Asian? Indian? Norwegian?) midget popping and locking floating around the internets this week. Well, for those of you who just can’t get enough of Little Superstar, here’s some more. This time, instead of dancing, he’s slapping the hell out of a man. Enjoy it now; it’s only a matter of time before this guy becomes the next Chuck Norris. You’ll see.

Link via Gorillamask

While You Were Googling “Screech + Sex Tape”


    bad jess.jpg
  • Jessica Simpson’s dad, Joe, wants to “beat the crap” out of Bam Magera for bragging that he slept with Jessica.. Because nobody is allowed to talk about having sex with his daughters but him, dammit!
  • Charlie Sheen is set to become TV’s highest-paid sitcom star for his role on Two And A Half Men. Friends, family, and local L.A. whores are incredibly excited about the news.
  • Analysts estimate that MySpace could be worth $15 billion within three years. Suddenly Tom just got a little more attractive, didn’t he ladies?
  • Rod Stewart has vowed to get a vascectomy after he fathers one more child. No joke here; just included it because we wanted you to think of a 107-year-old Rod Stewart having sex. You’re welcome.
  • Pete Doherty, who has vowed to stay clean for girlfriend Kate Moss, was spotted shopping for syringes just 15 hours after leaving rehab. When confronted he responded, “I meant to say I’ll keep my syringes clean for Kate. It’s a start.”