Anyone who’s ever stood at a Baskin-Robbins counter and agonized over which of their delicious ice cream flavors to select knows exactly what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are feeling right now as they ponder what race of baby they should next adopt to “balance out” their growing family of assorted children. Their current inventory consists of an Ethiopian, a Cambodian, and a Celebritarian – so let’s take a look at some of their future options and see if we can’t help them select the perfect flavor of baby for them to scoop up:
Looking for the perfect place to throw a bachelorette party? If Chippendales is booked, you may want to book a trip to Switzerland. According to their new tourism campaign, a new breed of shirtless Swiss men who aim to please have been bred just in time for the World Cup. The country is pimping out the male half of their population in order to get more female visitors during the soccer season. Check out this commercial on their website, which features all sorts of calendar guys milking udders, holding thick ropes and fondling rakes in an attempt to make you associate Switzerland with
penises hardworkers. The tagline promises that Swiss men will spend “less time on football and more time on you.” But does that mean they’re going to also spend less time blowing on horns and shouting Ricola? That may be too high a price to pay.
(via WOW report)
Now that he no longer has a smoking hot wife or successful music career to worry about, Nick Lachey is doing his part to make sure that date rapists smell good by starring in this ridiculous commercial for Axe Body Spray, which has built it’s entire brand around the mistaken belief that smelling like glorified air fresheners called “Mojo” will make women want to sleep with you:
1. As usual, Pixar picks our pockets – $31.1 million
2. It’s Jack Black. And he’s in tights. And he has a moustache and a funny Mexican accent. But dude, Napoleon Dynamite was sort of awesome before everyone ran the jokes into the ground. No? I mentioned the tights, right? Fine, we’ll just rent something then – $27.5 million
3. If only these tricked out rice rockets had been given a decent plot, hilarious celebrity voices and CGI animation instead of neon rims, turbo spoilers and Lil Bow Wow – $24.1 million
4. Last time Keanu and Sandra hooked up onscreen, it involved a maniacal plot to send a bus hurtling towards disaster. This was sort of like that, except less literally – $13.6 million
5. This just isn’t working out. It’s not you, it’s me. You know what, it actually is you – $9.5 million
Desperate single women, an angry d-head chef, and a couple of shows about cars– it must be Monday night.
If you missed How To Get The Guy last week, I recommend you set aside an hour tonight to get on board with the show. It’s… a trainwreck. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. The show features four single thirty-something women, each one undateable for a variety of reasons, and each one looking to find a decent man in San Francisco by any means necessary. Watching these women learn how to flirt, awkwardly approach men in bookstores, and attend speed-dating seminars leaves you uncomfortable and intrigued all at the same time. It’s truly bizarre. Watch it, and let me know what you think.
Besides HTGTG, I’ll be watching Hell’s Kitchen, The Real World / Road Rules Challenge, and Fast Inc. tonight (it’s a great show, and I don’t even like cars!) What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!
I would like formally apologize to all celebrity publicists : I had no idea how much you do. Generally speaking, I always thought being a celebrity publicist was a job a chimp could handle: stick by the celebrity’s side, bang on things and make a lot of noise whenver the star is talking. But now that it’s been revealed that Britney Spears was publicist-less during her Dateline Interview with Matt Lauer, I realize I grossly underestimated publicists’ enormous contributions to society. The interview was a shocking example of what we could be exposed to on a regular basis, if publicists were nevermore. Read more…
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, June 18th! Robin Hopkins is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including Treasure Hunters, Deadwood, and Entourage!
First of all, the theme of this week’s BWE Drinking Game is “genitalia”. On tonight’s new episode at 11pm, every time you see private parts – as a reference, as an actual thing, on people or meerkats – take a drink and prepare yourself for a difficult next morning.