SIZZLER: Michelle Rodriguez Going Back to Jail!

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Michelle-Rodriguez-Mug-Shot1.jpgIt’s a good thing Michelle Rodriguez had such a good time during her sixty-hour stay in jail – because, after violating her probation, she’s going back to Los Angeles County lock-up for 60 DAYS, where she will likely continue violating and probing the unluckly fish who has to share a cell with her. It’s a relatively common phenomenon for ex-cons to return to prison shortly after being released, often preferring the comfort (and tolerant attitude towards homosexuality) of prison life to the challenges and difficulties presented by the outside world (such as pretending to be straight).

While You Were Browsing Our Product Shop

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We’re Cheap!

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nicklechemodel.jpgThanks to your shrewd bargaining skills we’ve lowered the prices of our BWE T-shirts to just $9.99. That’s a savings of 50%! But that’s our final offer. We don’t want to haggle.

And why should we when we’ve got such awesome products like this original Nick La-Che t-shirt, hand-designed to accentuate the pop singer’s likeness to the Cuban revolutionary.

And that’s just the beginning, stop by our product shop to see all kinds of funny apparel, drinkware and stickers. And remember when you wear our products, people are laughing with you, not at you.

PROPPED: Dakota Fanning’s Japanese Fan Club

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cubachic dropped off this bizarre footage of Dakota Fanning being interviewed by her Japanese Fan Club. Watch as the uncomfortably mature 11 year-old braves a language barrier and hysterical laughter to answer questions like “What do you look for in a man?” (for the record, she likes ‘em Japanese)

Got a story or scoop to share with us? Drop it here.

YOUTUBULAR: Mario & Mr. Belvedere – On Ice!

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Every now and then, YouTube brings something back from the 80s so badical, so bodacious, so…YouTubular, that we have no choice but to share it with you. In this installment, I present the Super Mario Brothers On Ice, with Mr. Belvedere portraying King Koopa, and an introduction from Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano. I would normally write some kind of joke here, but that would just seem redundant. Enjoy!

AD WIZARDS: The iDont Campaign

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idont-poster.jpgAs one of millions of people who choose to use an iPod for my portable music playing needs, I am apparently a sheep, a chimp and a puppet of the “oppressive forces of cultural conformity”. According to the angry revolutionaries behind the “iDont Campaign“, those who elect to utilize the iPod’s streamlined, user-friendly music-playing apparatus are hindering “freedom, choice and self-expression”. You might have noticed the “gritty” series of fake-graffiti posters around your city, depicting chimps, donkeys and sheep with the iPod’s trademark white earphones, angrily declaring “there is now an alternative”.

So what is that alternative? And what kind of philanthropic non-profit organization could be responsible for getting this important message of hope to the masses? Why the SanDisk Sansa e200, of course! Resembling the old iPod almost exactly, and available for approximately the same price, the Sansa e200 allows you to suffer inferior music-playing capabilities and frustrating incompatibility without the worries of feeling like a “follower”. Because nothing is cooler or more “indie” than arbitrarily rejecting quality just because it’s “mainstream”!

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • We keep on linking MOKB because they keep on delivering. Today they have a bunch of artists covering The Beach Boys’ “God Only Knows.” David Bowie, Phantom Planet, Giant Drag; they’re all great, but don’t overlook the Mandy Moore/ Michael Stipe version. You think I’m kidding.
  • A Hundred Miles Off by The Walkmen finally comes out tomorrow. The Camera As Pen has two tracks to tide you over until then.
  • There’s some high quality live Bloc Party over at …Good Weather for Air Strikes. Download their whole Coachella set now.
  • Cody ChesnuTT is best known as the guy who wrote the song The Roots sampled for “The Seed 2.0.” Head over to FPSA to grab the original demo, as well as two other songs by this completely underrated artist.
  • Kanye’s “Keep The Receipt” featuring Dirt McGirt is making me miss Big Baby Jesus more than ever. Head over to Lemon-Red you’ll understand why.

SIZZLER: TomKat Wedding Postponed

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tomkat.JPGTom Cruise is so ready to get married to Kate, in fact he wants it more than anything in the world, but it’s Kate who’s just not ready.

Apparently, her Scientology re-programming is not yet complete. So Tom has reportedly pushed back the wedding until Kate has fully been converted been drained of her hormones. In the coming months Katie will reportedly undergo intensive training on “how to spot and avoid anyone critical of Scientology.” She will also have a filtered exposure to the outside world while she trains to be the best wife ever. But if this is what it takes to have a happy marriage it’s worth it. And they’re already half-way there with Tom being so in love and Kate’s internal hard-drive being programmed to read BE_TOMWIFE2.ftp

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: Ellen’s Big Day

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The Pussycat Dolls dropped by Ellen today, and I don’t know what Ellen was more excited about: the fact that she was surrounded by a bevy of scantily clad women or the fact that she had another excuse to dance. Either way, she looked happier than a pig in s**t lesbian in a sea of Pussycat Dolls. For your consideration…

SIZZLER: Paris Hilton Is ‘Crazy’

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gnarlsbarkley.jpgThe latest development in Paris Hilton’s un-awaited, completely futile attempt at a music career is that the album is being “put on hold” because Paris would like to record a cover of Gnarls Barkley’s hotter-than-firecrotch anthem “Crazy“. Yeah, there’s nothing the universally adored hip-hop duo needs more than having their massive hit single associated with the only album this year that has a chance of being more comically horrible than Kevin Federline’s. Hell, I doubt even Charles Barkley would allow her to sample a song from his long-unreleased 1992 hip-hop masterpiece, Slammin’.