You have to hand it to Michael Jackson: Whether or not the guy realizes it, the guy might be a creeptown genius. Because just when you think he couldn’t get any more nightmarish, any more weirdly scary-clown creepy, any more child-endangering, he manages to TOP himself. To wit: MJ is now targeting the only people possibly whiter than he is, and wishes to purchase land in Ireland… and open a Leprechaun Theme Park. Excuse me for a minute. Sorry about that.
That seriously sounds like SUCH. A. BLAST. Tiny little men helping you on and off the rides, springing up behind you while taking a leak on the “Pot O’ Gold.” Losing the grip of your child’s hand, then scrambling to locate your little one in a sea of small crying children and 48-year old dwarves in green hats… We’d almost rather take an eternal spin on the Insane Clown Posse Gravitron.
We were all saddened to hear the news that Lindsay Lohan fell down and broke her wrist last weekend, resulting in a mandatory arm cast for her latest fashion accessory. But if there’s one thing Hollywood stars are known for, it’s taking care of their own and rallying behind each other in times of trouble. So the least Lindsay’s pals could do is sign her cast with words of encouragement. Some of their sentiments will help her get well soon (UPGRADE), while others will only make her feel sick (DOWNGRADE).
Check out her autograph collection and tell us which ones are best. Vote now!
NOTE: If you have trouble registering (or simply don’t want to), but would like to see the cast signatures anyway, click here.
Lindsay, Tara, Mischa, McConaughey– take note: somebody has finally figured out a way to avoid unwanted nip-slips.
It’s called a “bra”, and here you can see Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas (and more recently, from Fergie) sporting one on the hip, cool show that all the kids love, TRL. Notice how the “bra” is conveniently placed over the breast and covers the nipple. This allows Fergie to wear clothing purchased from Kids ‘R’ Us on a nationally televised basic cable show without the fear of a body part popping out. Experts are already calling it “revolutionary”, and many believe that the “bra” could lead to the end of the modern day nipple slip.
Of course, since many celebrities rely on the occasional nip-slip to remain newsworthy, it’s unlikely that the “bra” look will catch on around Hollywood. But if it does, young up & coming starlets may have to find a new way to grab our attention.
We’re just going to have to hope that nobody tells them about underwear.
Remember sitting through Spaceballs for the 1,257th time — that morning when it aired on PAX — and while you quietly laughed at the adorkable Rick Moranis, and remembered when Bill Pullman had the qualities of a leading man before all that “they’re reading out thoughts” business in Independence Day, you thought “Gee, it’s too bad that there isn’t more Spaceballs material out there in the universe…”, well Mel Brooks has a message: Fooled you! That’s because Spaceballs is returning to the small screen, in the form of an animated series on the G4 Network. Mel Brooks will be providing some of the voices, and longtime collaborator Thomas Meehan will oversee writing (so we can pray it will actually be funny.)
You’ll have to wait until 2007 though, so until then, get on your Barfolemew outfit and try to rally up a Spaceballs convention. We’ll be styling our hair with a 400-pound blow dryer in anticipation.
Good Morning America’s multi-part Clay Aiken Confessional Booth series continued this morning with Diane Sawyer randomly pulling an “Are you gay?” question out of nowhere, utterly shocking him into giving a rambling 300-word response that essentially says, “Yep”. We admire Clay’s courage, and Diane’s subtle “probing” and “in the closet” puns.
Sick and tired of walking around with little pets like chihauhaus and kinkajous, Paris Hilton finally splurged a bit yesterday and bought her very own homeless person.
Paris (pictured purchasing the gentleman for $100, right) posed for photographs before rushing her newest acquisition to the salon to bathe him and make him lose that “new homeless man smell”. When asked why she chose this particular man, Paris spoke about his cute salt & pepper beard and his “I could snap at any second” eyes, which she dubbed as “hot”.
Paris, who in the past has named her chihuahua Tinkerbell and her kinkajou Baby Luv has yet to name the homeless man. Friends assume she’ll go with something adorable, like Stinky Butt or Marmaduke.
It’s Best Night Ever for Wednesday, September 20th! Pete and Brian are here to walk you through the best of Wednesday night tv, including The Biggest Loser, Jericho, and Top Model!
BWE’s Christian Finnegan has been blogging like a madman lately, tackling everything from his dad to weight loss to Willie Nelson. Check it out.
Listen, I have something to say to all of the kids out there: don’t do drugs. No matter what you’re friends tell you, getting involved with drugs will absolutely not make you look cool.
Unless you’re a 73 year old musical legend! Try and tell me that Willie Nelson is not the greatest human being on the face of the earth. Nope, you can’t do it. What’s more lovable than the image of a bunch of elderly dudes tooling around the country in a tour bus fueled by french fry grease, sitting around jamming and getting baked? I’ll tell you what: those same elderly dudes on that same tour bus, blitzed out of their minds on ‘shrooms.
[Keep reading Christian’s Tower of Hubris here]