Angelina Update: Longest Labor Ever

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On Friday night, after posting reports that Angelina would be popping out a miracle baby any minute, we were sure we’d come back to work Monday with a brand new baby to blog about. But according to reports Angelina Jolie is still “about to give birth.” If tabloid reports are to be believed (and they should be unconditionally) she’s been in labor for over 72 hours. Making this her strongest argument for adoption yet.

Meanwhile, during Jolie’s relaxing weekend in a birthing tub having labor pains, a photojournalist who’s been shadowing her was detained by Namibian police and she and Brad reportedly fought over how to care for their sick baby Zahara. All in all, it was the best weekend ever for Jennifer Aniston.

While You Were Re-Proposing

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Best Night Ever: Sunday, May 21st

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It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, May 21st! Robin Hopkins is here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Simpsons, Family Guy, and Desperate Housewives!

Supergroup Is Straight Up Super

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Sorry VH1- but I’ve had it with Celebreality. Hogan Knows Best, Celebrity Fit Club, A Surreal Life with a transgendered Arquette brother/sister. I’ve had enough.

At least I thought I did. Until I saw these clips from Supergroup. Whoever decided to put Sebastian Bach, Evan Seinfeld, Ted Nugent and Scott Ian in a band together is a f’n genius. Check out this clip of Sebastian and Evan getting into one of those classic guy-wrestling-matches-that-suddenly-gets-serious. And click below to see another preview.

Watch another clip here! It’s gonna be great.

Shuffling Towards the Weekend: the Battle Continues!

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So last week you people overwhelmingly decided that Bob’s playlist was superior to mine, possibly due to the embarassing appearance of Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless America” on my list. ANYWAY, since Bob is the reigning champ, this week we pitted him against the musical powers of our own Paul Scheer, and filmed it to make sure nobody could cheat! Check out their shuffles, vote on a winner, and post your own results in the comments! Click here for a text version of the lists (first comment).

EXCLUSIVE Preview of Jack Osbourne’s Memoir

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jackosborne.jpgJack Osbourne announced yesterday that he has closed a deal with a publisher to release his memoir. Through our shadowy network of media operatives, BWE.tv was able to procure the ENTIRE text of the autobiography, which will be the shortest in history, considering he was only 20 years old when he wrote it. Here it is, unabridged, for you all to enjoy:

My dad’s weird so my family was on TV and I got wasted a lot until I had to stop partying so much then I went to rehab and lost weight. THE END

Riveting stuff – we might have a regular Hemingway on our hands here.

SIZZLER: Tommy Hilfiger ‘Gets In the Ring’ With Axl?

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axl1.jpgThere’s been so much celeb fighting this week, I thought I had finally reached a point where nothing would really surprise me. Then I read this story about clothing designer Tommy Hilfiger punching Axl Rose in the face before being escorted out of Rosario Dawson’s birthday party. After convincing myself that I wasn’t on mushrooms and had in fact just read that, I was left feeling kind of sorry for Axl. I mean, how can you get any less Rock & Roll than fighting with an aging fashion designer at some starlet’s private birthday party? With the exception of getting b*tch-slapped by Estelle Getty at a Build-a-Bear store in a suburban shopping mall, I don’t think it’s even possible.

While You Were Rocking out to Richie

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  • 98 degrees’ Jeff Timmons could face prison for DUI. And you know what they do to boy-banders in prison.
  • Nic Cage buys another island.Good place to hide out once reviews of 9/11 movie comes out.
  • Christina Aguilera does promos for Pepsi. Doesn’t compare to “Brown and Bubbly” campaign.
  • Fergie will star in the next Quentin Tarantino movie. As Mr. Tan
  • Halle Berry calls a British DJ racist. He still thinks she’s smoking hot.
  • Kevin wanted to profit off of Britney’s pregnancy news. But now all he’s got is another lousy baby.

All She Needs is this Keyboard, and This Tabla

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richie.JPGBreaking up is hard to do. Now that DJ AM and Lindsay Lohan, are spinning sweet music together, Nicole Richie is totally coming undone. These pictures taken yesterday outside of an Indian grocery store are baffling gossips who can’t figure out if she’s planning something for her reported album or for another season of The Simple Life. But we’ve seen this before, when Steve Martin hit rock bottom in The Jerk, only all he needed was a thermos and some matches, not a trunk full of world music instruments. (via ONTD)

UPDATE: Spin has a sample of Nicole Richie’s new song Dandelion, a cover of an LFO song. Based on this brief clip we can easily say she’s just as good a singer as she is a writer.