It’s May 23rd; What’s up?

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tv set4.jpgWe can pretend that tonight isn’t only about American Idol. We can pretend that you’re genuinely interested in how 10.5: Apocalypse wraps up, or that you care about the season finale of Pepper Dennis. But who are we kidding? The only thing that matters tonight is Taylor and Katherine. The Soul Patrol dude and the (alleged) Scientologist chick. On tonight’s final performance episode they’re both going to sing a bunch of songs and millions and millions of Americans will vote. Hell, I might. Are you? Come on, admit it. You’re thinking about it, aren’t you? Yeah you are.

Well, besides American Idol, what else are you watching tonight? Vote now!

SIZZLER: Dr. 90210 A Hero!

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REY.jpgDr. Robert Rey , the Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and star of E’s reality show Dr. 90210, is a true hero. Not only does make really rich women look younger but he used his black belt in karate to prevent a hostile takeover on a plane bound for LA. Apparently, the plastic surgeon was sitting in first class when a big, brawny deranged man * on his flight charged for the pilot’s cabin. Luckily Rey is a practiced martial arts master, and used his prowess to tackle the offender before he could attack the pilot. Nobody was hurt in the incident. **

*According to police reports the offender was actually an 80 year old Vietnamese man who was simply suffering from a case claustrophobia.
**Rey may have broken a nail in the incident.

Angelina Update: Still Holding in Baby

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brad-pitt-oyster-bar.jpg I used to really like Angelina Jolie, but I’m starting to think she’s just a tease. These pictures via Just Jared show that on Saturday night, when Angelina was supposed to be in labor, she was actually having dinner with Brad, the kids, her brother and her bodyguard at a restaurant called The Oyster Bar in Namibia. OH MY GOD, why won’t this women give birth already? She got us so hot for this baby, and made us think we’d actually be writing about it, but now she’s just giving us a bad case of blue blog.

(Click on the thumbnail for larger picture)

While You Were Rinsing Out Your Morning Breath

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  • Lindsay Lohan seeks revenge by bedding Paris ex Stavros Niachros. Never underestimate the vengeance of firecrotch.
  • Michelle Williams’ dad locked in an in Australian jail for tax evasion. There’s got to be a Brokeback joke in here.
  • Jessica Simpson orders bodyguards to close off public toilet. Only MTV cameramen are allowed to hear her pee
  • Ryan Seacrest gets probed by NY Times. Seacrest reveals anal side.
  • New reasons for Axl and Tommy Hilfiger fight. Alcohol mysteriously still not taking any blame.
  • Britney dumped Kaballah because they kept asking for money. And Kevin already fills that void.

Best Night Ever: Monday, May 22nd

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It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, May 22nd! Danielle is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Deal or No Deal, 24, and the final Alias!

…Of The Day

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  • REAL LIFE NIGHTMARE: A street entertainer on Hollywood Boulevard dressed like Freddy Krueger stabbed a man with his knife fingernails. (CBS2)
  • KIEFER DRUNKERLAND RETROSPECTIVE: Just in time for 24 season finale… (Cityrag)
  • MUSIC WEBSITES: Entertainment Weekly made a list, and Stereogum earned the #7 spot. But you know what– F**k Stereogum! (Stereogum)
  • THE NEW ‘BIG IN GERMANY’: Being big in Iraq. Like the one, the only, Lionel Richie. (NPR)
  • PHOTOGRAPH OF GREY’S ANATOMY: Okay, not Meredith Grey’s, but Izzy’s. Even better if you ask me. (The Bastardly)

SIZZLER: Michelle Rodriguez Going Back to Jail!

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Michelle-Rodriguez-Mug-Shot1.jpgIt’s a good thing Michelle Rodriguez had such a good time during her sixty-hour stay in jail – because, after violating her probation, she’s going back to Los Angeles County lock-up for 60 DAYS, where she will likely continue violating and probing the unluckly fish who has to share a cell with her. It’s a relatively common phenomenon for ex-cons to return to prison shortly after being released, often preferring the comfort (and tolerant attitude towards homosexuality) of prison life to the challenges and difficulties presented by the outside world (such as pretending to be straight).

While You Were Browsing Our Product Shop

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We’re Cheap!

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nicklechemodel.jpgThanks to your shrewd bargaining skills we’ve lowered the prices of our BWE T-shirts to just $9.99. That’s a savings of 50%! But that’s our final offer. We don’t want to haggle.

And why should we when we’ve got such awesome products like this original Nick La-Che t-shirt, hand-designed to accentuate the pop singer’s likeness to the Cuban revolutionary.

And that’s just the beginning, stop by our product shop to see all kinds of funny apparel, drinkware and stickers. And remember when you wear our products, people are laughing with you, not at you.

PROPPED: Dakota Fanning’s Japanese Fan Club

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cubachic dropped off this bizarre footage of Dakota Fanning being interviewed by her Japanese Fan Club. Watch as the uncomfortably mature 11 year-old braves a language barrier and hysterical laughter to answer questions like “What do you look for in a man?” (for the record, she likes ‘em Japanese)

Got a story or scoop to share with us? Drop it here.