…Of The Day

by

    ashton kutcher.jpg
  • AT LEAST THEY’RE STILL WORKING: The Gin Blossoms are rockin’ out cafeterias on the East Coast (Deadspin)
  • MANBEARPIG: Ashton Kutcher and his brand new beard (Celebutaint)
  • MUSIC VIDEO: Guster’s “One Man Wrecking Machine.” Best video since Blur’s Milk Carton Guy. (Screenhead)
  • A TIRADE MADE FOR A QUEEN: Elton John calls a rude individual a “f**kwit.” (The Velvet Hot Tub)
  • GUESS WHAT ENDED UP IN RYAN SEACREST’S ASS TODAY: Glass. This time. (Defamer)

ICYMI: Lindsay Lohan, Verne Troyer Get in Cars

by

verne.jpgTMZ has some pretty Lindsay Lohan leaving club Shag, post-firecrotch assualt. Sure she was a victim of a malicious attack. But shortly after her car pulls out of the driveway, the paparazzi also catches Mini-Me emerging from the same club on some dude’s shoulders as if he was a kid at a parade. Watching the lil guy struggle to get in the drivers seat of his car (yes he drives!) really puts the whole firecrotch-thing in perspective. Or it just serves as a freakish diversion untill there’s more gossip about Lindsay’s woman parts.

See the paparazzi footage of Lohan and Troyer here.

Don’t Blame Brad & Angelina For Baby’s Stupid Name

by

brangelina1.jpgWith so many damn celebrities giving their children stupid names, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided to take the easy way out– they’re letting somebody else do their dirty work.

The closest person to the couple since their arrival in Namibia, governor Samuel Nuuyoma has revealed that the two celebrities have given him the honour to name the baby when it arrives, “anytime soon”.

“When she goes to the hospital, as the father of the region, I will be informed and I will go there. I will announce the good news and I will name the baby,” Nuuyoma stated with excitement.

The governor hasn’t dropped any clues as to what he’s going to name the child, but he promises it won’t be nearly as ridiculous as Bluebell Madonna.

Guess the Coinslot!

by

In Hollywood, coinslots are the latest must-have accessory for any self-reflecting starlet. They’re so important that there is a cream made especially for coinslot moisturizing and Lindsay Lohan has even been known to employ the services of a coinslot double. Now it’s time for you to practice your coinslot identification skills by telling us which starlet the following coinslot belongs to. We’ll post the answer in the comments later.
mysteryslot.jpg

CELEBRITY TRANSLATOR: Vinnifer Vaughn On Leno

by

Last night Vince Vaughn appeared on The Tonight Show to promote his new film The Break-Up, in which he co-stars with girlfriend Jennifer Aniston. Vaughn somehow managed to talk for twenty minutes without really saying anything, so luckily we were able to use our patented Celebrity Tranlsator to decode the real meaning behind his incessant rambling.

ICYMI: I Love You, Johnny Cakes

by

gayvito.jpgAnyone who’s been watching The Sopranos this season knows that the best part of the show is the forbidden love story between Vito and his moustachioed fireman friend, Johnny Cakes. In tribute to their moving tale of star-crossed love, I give you this hilarious trailer imagining a Sopranos spin-off we’d all love to see.

(via College Humor)

Pete Wentz’s Product Placement

by

pete11.jpg Remember those nudie pictures taken off of Fall Out Boy Pete Wentz’s sidekick? While Wentz was betrayed by the invasion of privacy, he did get a lot of attention.

In these new photos, reportedly sent out by the musician himself, Pete has finally recognized what valuable ad space his humdinger really is. Check out how he uses it to sell new the new CD of a band on his record label, The Hush Sound, after the jump (Beware: NSFW)
Read more…

While You Were Having Your Prison Blues Pressed

by

halle-berry-nude-010.jpg

  • Halle Berry says she still experiences discrimination on a regular basis. It’s true – people who have a blind, ignorant hatred of attractiveness can be very cruel.
  • Kevin Bacon showed up at the opening of Manhattan’s newest Apple Store in hopes of scoring some free stuff. A surly employee at the Genius Bar denied his request, but said he’d throw Bacon some free earphones if he’d go behind the pull-down screen and do the Footloose dance in silhouette like the iPod commercials.
  • Brad Pitt sent an e-mail to the Cannes Film Festival, apologizing for his absence due the “imminent arrival” of his baby. Festival organizers were unimpressed, noting that Tom Cruise not only would have been there, but would have skydived onto the red carpet from an F-16 Fighter Jet, proudly holding his newborn child in fresh swaddling.
  • Jennifer Aniston says her man Vince Vaughn is the “cream of the crop“. And by “cream of the crop” she means “A far cry from Brad Pitt, but has both a pulse and a vague interest”.
  • Jon Favreau, director of the upcoming film adaptation of the Iron Man comic book series, is taking suggestions for the film from fans on MySpace. I think I remember something about Orson Welles taking advice from his “pen pal fan club” via pony express during the filming of Citizen Kane.

ICYMI: Kelly Ripa Smells Like Fish

by

Usually Kelly Ripa is strictly G-rated, but on today’s Live with Regis and Kelly, after tasting one too many Cabernets, she dropped a bomb–and let me tell you, it stinks. This may just be the most inappropriate comment ever made on a morning show, and the best. For your consideration…