PROOF THAT TV VIEWERS ARE SHREWD NEGOTIATORS: Due to sliding ratings, NBC is now offering $10,000 to people who watch The Apprentice. I think we should hold out for $12,000. (Reality Blurred)
OUT OF TOUCH MOM TERMINOLOGY: British Tabloid calls former pop star George Michael a "stoned waster" (The Mirror)
PROOF WE’RE ONE SIMPSON TOO MANY: Ashlee Simpson’s new song L.O.V.E was just released on her website. (AshleeSimpsonMusic)
VOICE-MAIL: Faye Dunaway’s angry voice messages left throughout the day on the phone of a producer making a TV movie of her life. While she wants to forget Mommy Dearest, it’s clear why she’ll never outlive the role. (Wow Report)
Springtime means a lot of things: nicer weather, less clothing, longer afternoons – and bro’in out to a jammin’ live show from The Dave Matthews Band with your bro’s, bro. So get yourself in the "jammy" mood with this sweet footage of DMB Live! (Yes, it’s a slow day.)
R. Kelly returned to New York this week for the first time since 2004. Well, on behalf of all New York, allow me to say that he was missed. During last night’s sold out Radio City Music Hall show, R previewed an unreleased song titled "The Zoo" that contained the following lyrics:
"It’s like Jurassic Park, but I’m your Sexasaurus" and "You and me hopping like two kangaroos… you got me locked in your cage of ecstasy and I don’t want to be free… I’m your Tarzan and you’re my Jane." Wow. Just. Wow.
I for one think it’s about time Sexasauruses got their due. I’ve seen all three Jurassic Park movies, and not once did they talk about the Sexasaurus. Kudos to R. Kelly for stepping up and bringing this extinct-but-not-forgotten dinosaur to the attention of the American Public for the first time… ever. Oh, and for the record, accused pedophile R. Kelly has titled his next album Making Babies. Thankfully he does not go into specifics as to what he’s making them do, exactly. But you can imagine. [Read the MTV News article here ]
Q Magazine published it’s list of the 50 worst albums ever made. I can’t believe Naomi Campbell’s techno-diva album Babywoman and Bruce Willis’s bluesy The Return of Bruno made the list. Those are classics of the humiliating celebrity side project genre.
But the number #1 worst album ever made according to the magazine? Duran Duran’s Thank You, an album in which the 80′s rockers cover songs by legends like Bob Dylan, Lou Reed and Grandmaster Flash. I guess it was just their little way of saying thank you for not having to write new music.
View the entire list of the 50 worst albums ever after the jump. Then tell us which albums you think should have made the list…
This week Howard Stern returned from vacation and revealed he’s turned his opinion around and has become one of Rosie’s biggest supporters!
I don’t know how I missed it, but The Scorned,the first horror film starring only reality stars debuted on DVD last week. The directors cut/unrated version explains all the mysteries and artistic intentions of the film a.k.a gratuitous reality boobies. Enjoy the varied acting styles of Bob "The goofy Bachelor" Guiney, Jenna Lewis, Ethan Zohn, Johnny Fairplay, Trishelle Cantella Durtiz and other reality stars who made the poor career choice to star in this movie. Watch the trailer for The Scorned. I guarantee you it’s not half as scary as E’s Kill Reality, the reality show based on the making of this movie.
Since it’s impossible to avoid Tom & Katie today, I’m just going to accept it and post this ridiculous game to keep myself occupied. It’s called Keep Katie Quiet, and here’s the description:
Catch Tom’s Crazy pills to keep Katie Quiet during Pregnancy or Xenu
will come and take her away! Will Katie be completely Silent during
birth in accordance with Scientology”s completely rational beliefs?
Its up to you to protect her from the evil alien overlord Xenu.
Good luck! Thanks to PopSugar for helping me waste the day away. Click here to play.
Did somebody lay an egg? TONY!
After months of speculation, anticipation and no small amount of skepticism, the day has finally come and gone: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have brought a new life into the world. But now that the pregnancy circus is pulling out of gossip town, what’s next for the world’s Hollyweirdest couple?
First of all, Tom has indefinitely cancelled all press appearances for his upcoming summer blockbuster/career killer, Mission:Impossible 3, which is news I know at least one person is going to take pretty hard. Next, as the cruel hand of fate would have it, Tom Cruise and his natal arch-nemesis Brooke Shields had their new children ON THE SAME DAY, forever entwining the destinies of their offspring. This will also give the whole world a very public opportunity to observe the post-partum challenges and behavior of one woman who doesn’t believe in psychiatric medication, and one woman who isn’t crazy.
So just because the baby is finally born and you’re not going to get to see anymore pictures of Katie Holmes out shopping with a basketball stuffed under shirt, there’s still plenty more juice left in this fruit basket of absurdity.