Every now and again, while sitting through some 12-hour Real World marathon involving performing oral sex while simultaneously puking up your breakfast, memories of the solid sitcoms of yesteryear will flood our memories, the solid laughs, enjoyable storylines, fictional characters more pious and successful than ourselves. When did reality shows all start blending into one another?
So what is it going to take to revamp the world of reality programming? Here are a few ideas that would renew our passion for reality tv.
What would the world ever do without dorks? We’d never know the wonders of the Internet, pornography or even Devo. And we certainly wouldn’t have this awesome video, droppped by destructoid.com, of a live-action recreation of 80′s arcade classic Space Invaders, which takes place in an auditorium. I don’t care how many of these live-action versions of video games I see, they never cease to amaze me. Keep dropping us all this amazing besteverness.
Don’t “Degauss” your screens: That is indeed Jack Nicholson’s bulge! No word yet from the Nicholson camp about the healthy bulge he’s sporting, but there’s no denying it: those shorts are letting his bulge shine through! Hopefully, it’s a genuine bulge, and not just some extra water-weight he’s carrying around in his crotchal area.
If there’s anything that says hip, edgy, finger-on-the-pulse of youth culture, it is, of course, Wal Mart. That’s why it comes as no surprise that the retail giant is launching The Hub, a totally rad new place for teens to “express their style” by “making their own page” and then “showing it to the world” and just maybe “winning some fab prizes”. I mean, who needs to hang out with those lame-o’s over at MySpace (ugh, SO last year!) when they could be partying with the popular kids and doing “school your way” right here at Wal Mart? And the best part is – no creepy pedophiles! Unless, of course, the door “greeters” manage to find their way online – but they’re poor and can’t afford computers, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
Still a little uncomfortable slipping into a bathing suit this summer? Then you probably don’t want to tune in to Bravo’s new show Work Out tonight. Instead of watching fat people (yay!) get in shape, this show focuses on hot, toned people getting even hotter and toned-er. Or is it tonier? More toned? I don’t even know.
What else is on tonight? Well, before Work Out you have a brand new episode of Project Runway, a show that’s already had more drama than the entire 5th season of The Sopranos… and the season just started!
So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!
It’s been awhile now since you first heard drunken Pat O’Brien’s filthy voicemail messages in which he tries to convince a co-worker to participate in a disgusting threesome with himself and a woman identified only as “Betsy”. Well just when you thought those scars had finally healed, our friend The Thighmaster has confronted us with the identity of Pat’s mystery sex partner by pointing out the personal blog of Betsy herself. Click on over so that you may gaze upon picture after picture of a bathrobed Pat basking in post-coital afterglow with his peroxidic love kitten. Carefully pore over every word Betsy uses to describe her international adventures in erotica with the man who once told his colleague that he, “wanted to do coke and be inside of her”. Pat won’t mind – in fact, he even recorded a personal greeting just for you!
Here’s a question to digest before lunchtime: When did model/actress Isabella Rossellini turn into a clean-shaven Zach Braff?
It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, July 18th! Michelle Collins is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including Rock Star: Supernova and Last Comic Standing!