Now that we’ve established that Mel Gibson has long had an interest in Judaism and is capable of enlightening us with previously unknown facts such as “the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world”, we thought we’d see what else he knows about God’s chosen people, which is how we discovered the following list of Random Facts About Jews (According to Mel Gibson).
- Jews have secretly been trying to make candy and ice cream illegal.
- Jews don’t worship Jesus even though He’s God and they’re supposed to.
- Jews made that dude cut off Braveheart’s wang at the end of the movie.
- Jews made Lance Bass gay.
- Jews created Arrested Development just so they could piss us off by cancelling it.
OK — Don’t get nervous. We won’t be spoiling anything for you until after the jump. Before we try to crack the case, let’s talk shopping. Moichandising, moichandising! For those of you who don’t suffer from a debilitating addiction to online shopping, might I clue you in to the Project Runway store, which sells items such as the uncannily dissimilar Tim Gunn bobblehead doll, not to mention an adorably emasculating doggy raincoats. The site also auctions off the actual clothes that came down the runway in each episode, allowing you to own a piece of basic cable reality show history! (Note to the ladies: The outfits are “tailored to fit the model, sized 0 to 2 and anywhere from 5’10″ to 6’2″”, so get those trigger fingers oiled and ready.)
But more importantly, the site sells t-shirts which were designed by the contestants. Blogger Bex Schwartz discovered something veeeery interesting on the site, and believes she’s cracked the case and figured out the final four. Possible spoilers after the jump — you’ve been warned!
As always, South Park was ahead of the curve; they knew Mel Gibson was crazy years ago. This video should give you a little insight as to how he acted during his arrest on Friday (minus the anti-Semitism, sadly.) See for yourself.
Once again blurring the line between reality and fiction, Entourage creator Doug Ellin has slipped the folks at EW Johnny Drama’s resume. Now, this isn’t as crazy as the 2-page Aquaman advertisement in Variety, but it’s still cool that HBO wants us to think of Vinnie Chase and his boys as real people.
So what was Johnny Drama doing before his little brother hit it big? Well, he was Stoned Surfer #5 in Point Break, Tori’s stalker on 90210, and how could anybody forget his role as the Bulimic Pedophile on The Commish?
Check out his entire resume here. Hey, I’d hire the guy. Wouldn’t you?
As reported on July 20, Heath Ledger has now officially signed on to be the Joker in Christopher Nolan‘s upcoming Batman sequel, The Dark Night. (Click the thumbnail on the left for our imagining of Heath in the part.) Ledger will join the “Hottest Actor with Rosacea” Christian Bale, who will reprise his role as the gravel-voiced crusader, but rumors still abound about the other villains in the film. The latest word is that Ryan Phillipe is up for consideration to play Two Face, and it is safe to say that at least one of those faces will be very, very pretty. Meanwhile, Oscar-winner Philip Seymour Hoffman has been suggested to fill Danny DeVito‘s tiny, tiny patent leather shoes in the role of the Penguin, although we’ll always keep a tiny golden shoe for DeVito in our hearts.
What’s your take? Have any better ideas, or do you think these actors would do the Batman series justice? And any ideas as to what Ryan Phillipe’s other face would look like?
It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, July 31st! Brian Faas is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Star Tomorrow, Hell’s Kitchen, and One Ocean View!
Thanks to reader urbanoms for dropping this hilariously disturbing video (language slightly NSFW) about the practical dangers of mistreating your lady. After watching the jilted girlfriend’s rampage on her ex-lover’s belongings and feeling thankful for the well-being of your own laptop, it might be a good time to pick up the phone and tell your sweetheart just how much you love her. It would also be a good idea to drop us some more of these sweet links lest we start feeling like you don’t love us anymore, either. We know where you live.
UPDATE: The video is apparently a part of some elaborite viral marketing campaign, into whose hand we so easily played. It’s still amusing I guess, but whatever happened to the good old days when ads were all just clever slogans and celebrities pimping crappy products? How did we ever go from ‘Mikey Likes It’ to smashing a perfectly good laptop in the middle of a crowded street? And if we can’t trust the authenticity of things we find on the Internet, just what can we trust?
After an otherwise slow week in celebrity scandal, Friday afternoon’s one-two punch combo of Lindsay Lohan’s “intervention” letter from a studio exec and Mel Gibson’s arrest for driving after drinking too much water-turned-wine confronted us with two seperate alcohol-related Hollywood bombshells only moments before we were to embark upon a weekend of our own booze-fueled debauchery. Left scrambling to ensure you were informed of these developments before we were too wasted to write, we had little time to fully ponder all the implications of these incidents, including how they relate to one another. Mel and Lindsay couldn’t seem more different, but when it comes to boozehounds hitting rock bottom, everyone is equal, leaving us with one very important question: which of these two lushes could out-drink the other? Mel’s got experience, physical size and faith in the power of Jesus on his side. But Lohan has youth, a naive sense of invulnerability and faith in the power of cocaine on hers. It’d be cool if we could film and televise a reality competition in which your favorite famous alcoholics square off and binge-drink themselves into oblivion, but for now we’ll just have to settle for a poll. So tell us who you think could put away the most hooch before passing out, puking or punching a TMZ photographer: Braveheart or Blohan?