BWE: Ask the Messiah

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Brangelina… the world owes you.

Now that the Messiah has arrived, I’m sure a lot of people have questions. Well, Shiloh is here to answer them. Ask the baby Messiah a yes/no question now, and be blown away by her infinite wisdom. The meaning of life, our purpose on Earth, what’s really going on with Lost… she knows all. So ask away, people. Ask away.

ICYMI: Anna Nicole Confirms Her Pregnancy

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annanicole.jpgAnna Nicole Smith confirmed the rumors that she’s pregnant via video posted on her very own website today. According to the video, she’s very pregnant, very happy and very uncomfortable with the English language. In this brief but unforgettable video, two dogs prophetically have their barks ignored in the background, while the former Playboy model floats on a raft in her pool and addresses a camera which we assume is strapped to the head of a 4 pound Labradoodle.

Watch the video here.

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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    CopyRight has a song by my new favorite band on the planet– and though I have yet to listen to them, I know they’re amazing because of their name. So head on over there to download “Africa” by the B.A. Baracus Band now.
  • Okay, now Obscure Sound has 3 tracks by a band I actually have heard and like: Sound Team. Check them out.
  • Macktronic has posted an ode to J-named women including Jolene (The White Stripes), Jenny (Stellastarr*), Jacqueline (Franz Ferdinand), and Jessica (Adam Green).
  • <a href="http://comfortabledummy.blogspot.com/2006/06/move-your-feet.html" Comfortably Dumb has a handful of tracks to make you move your feet by Junior Senior, Beck, LCD Soundsystem and more. Download them all, then dance, dance, dance.
  • And finally, Motel de Moka has a Nelly Furtado track from before she was Promiscuous. You know, back when she was a big old boring prude.

Celebrities Discover Internet, Destroy It

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domain-name-registration.jpgIt’s good to see celebrities are finally catching on to the internet. But now that they’ve made their discovery, as expected they want to take complete control over it, like they do everything else. On Saturday, after cutting the cord on their little messiah and maybe a quick sponge bath, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie immediately bought the rights to the domain name shilohnouveljoliepitt.com–which means Shilohnouveljoliepitt Plumbing Supplies will have to go with .biz.

But that’s not the only domain name getting celebrity lovin’. This past week, Tom Cruise released his dogs lawyers across the www in hopes to win back every domain addressassociated with his own name in order to curb the online Cruise-related mockery that brings us so much joy. He’s already taken back Tom Cruise.com from cybersquatters and now he’s going after Tom Cruise.net and Tom Cruise.org but unfortunately www.crazygayalien.net has already been purchased.

Nick Lachey: Breast Man

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boobs boobs boobs.JPGIt’s no secret that Nick Lachey is a big fan of big boobs. Playa’s handled more D-Cups than a Victoria’s Secret stockboy. With his latest conquest, Kim Kardashian, Nick has added another impressive pair to his resume. Just check out that picture above– Jessica, Miss Kentucky, Kristin Cavallari, Jessica’s old assistant, plus Kim… Nick is attracted to big boobs the way Paris Hilton is attracted to… big boobs.

So the question is this: Who’s next? Anna Nicole? Jenna Jameson? Dolly Parton? Hurley from Lost?At this point, nothing can shock me. Who do you think it’ll be?

PROPPED: Speaking Vince Vaughnese

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vincecrashers.jpgCourtesy of The Jay:

From “You’re so money” to “Earmuffs” to “Lock it Up!”, Vince Vaughn’s movie quotes have changed the way we converse, the way we think and the way we speak. It’s almost as if he’s created a new language, one that is defined by witty quips and cutting rejoinders. And he’s the only actor whose quotes can be used in all spectrums of speech, and are widely recognized as some of the most funniest, smartest and coolest in movie history. [Keep Reading]

I never thought I’d see so many Vince Vaughn quotes in one place. Sadly, judging by early reviews of The Break-up, it seems unlikely that this list will be amended anytime soon. Thanks to The Jay for Dropping this. Got something of your own that you want to submit? Drop it now!

SIZZLER: Taylor Hicks Lands Record Deal

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taylor_hicks11.jpgIn the biggest shocker of the year, American Idol winner Taylor Hicks has landed a record deal!! Hicks has been contracted to record an album debuting later this year and will release his two singles “Do I Make You Proud?” and “Takin’ It to the Streets” on June 13, 2006. But here’s the really big surprise, after mulling over his options and researching the industry, he’s decided sign a deal with 19 Recordings Unlimited, the label managed by Idol creator Simon Fuller! What a coincidence, wasn’t he on that show created by Simon Fuller and didn’t he win the grand prize of a record contract with Simon Fuller? What a funny and strange twist of events.

It’s June 1st; What’s up?

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tv set.jpgHow do you spell Fun? Well, if you’re into watching little kids break out mad spelling skills it’s as easy as ABC (whoa. Did I just accidentally write a National Spelling Bee commercial? I think I did.) If watching middle schoolers spell words that you don’t even know the meaning of doesn’t do it for you, don’t worry, you have other options. NBC has an Office marathon running tonight, while CBS is airing another episode of Ricki Lake’s Gameshow Challenge. On top of that there’s So You Think You Can Dance?, Throwdown with Bobby Flay on the Food Nework, and various other repeats, TV movies and specials up and down the dial. So the question is this: what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

CELEBRITY TRANSLATOR: 30 Seconds to Barf

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Tuesday night Jimmy Kimmel Live hosted a very special musical guest – actor Jared Leto’s band, 30 Seconds to Mars. As the heartthrob’s gothic pop-metal lyrics were often mumbled and just silly, we fired up the old Celebrity Translator to figure out just what the hell he was singing about. Grab some earplugs, watch the video and see for yourselves!