Jaleel White: Still Alive Looking For Work

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steve urkel.jpgLOS ANGELES, California (AP) — Jaleel White, who played ‘nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel on “Family Matters” was found dead Monday. He was 29 years old.White was pronounced dead on arrival after admission to an LA hospital early Monday morning.

Calm down. Calm down. According to Black Entertianment, Jaleel White is not dead. An e-mail hoax has been circulating around the Internet that claims the actor, best known for his role as Steve Urkel on “Family Matters,” was found dead Monday of an apparent suicide.

I’m glad Urkel’s ok. Though I am upset that I’ll no longer be able to wear the “Did I Do That? 1976-2006″ T-shirt I made when I heard the news.

So to sum it all up: Jaleel White’s alive… and hungry. Seriously. And he’s got time to kill to, so if you have any work for him he’d appreciate it. (Read the full fake email by clicking below)
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SIZZLER: Daughtry Breaks Fuel’s Heart

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daughtry1.jpgRemember last month when Chris Daughtry, the American Idol cast-off, was asked to join the band Fuel? Everyone thought he’d heartily accept the offer to be the band’s frontman, but Daughtry said he’d have think about it. (Which is the rock equivalent of responding to an ‘I Love You’ with a ‘Thanks’).

Well, after a month of deliberating the pros and cons of joining a one hit wonder 90′s band, Daughtry has an answer for Fuel: hell no. “I’m going to be doing my own thing,” Chris explained sympathetically to Fuel via the press. He “expects to announce his next career move in a few months, probably after the ‘American Idol concert tour ends this summer,” and hopefully after the band’s broken heart has mended. Meanwhile, Fuel is back to looking for a new lead singer. If they’re searching for more unchartered TV talent, we recommend they check out America’s Most Talented Kids on PAX. Those kids are a little more in Fuel’s league.

It’s June 5th; What’s up?

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tv set1.jpgRemember when The Apprentice season finale was insane? It was like a 7-hour live episode with special guest stars and tons of speculation about which young, good-looking up-and-coming businessman would take the grand prize and go down in history as one of Donald Trump’s valued apprentices. Ahh, the good old days. Tonight marks the end of another season of the (popular?) reality show, and NBC is celebrating with a *special* 90-minute episode. Um. Yay?

Other shows to check out tonight: Falcon Beach on ABC Family (b/c you miss The OC), The 2006 Alma Awards (b/c you miss Eva Longoria), and the Everwood series finale… just because.

Finally, one other Monday night highlight: Celine Dion will be dropping by the season finale of Deal or No Deal. Deal with it. What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

SIZZLER: TomKat Battle over Baby Toys

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party_001.jpg Tom Cruise is currently training Suri to be a superbaby. According to reports, “Tom Cruise has purchased all of the Baby Einstein DVDs and books to begin baby Suri’s “enhanced learning” program.” He also purchased so-called ‘genius toys’ and flashcards, and tossed aside the two month-old’s regular infant toys. While Katie Holmes is reportedly upset about Tom’s rigid schooling, we think he just wants to give his daughter every opportunity out there. You know the Scientology Center doesn’t accept just anyone.

What Will Make Your Monday Better? Paris’ New Song!

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parisonthemic.jpgI know how hard Monday mornings can be. Still feeling the fun you had last weekend, depressed over the eternity seperating you from the next one, buried under the weight of all the work that’s piled up. Well, your friends here at BWE, with the help of our buddy Stereogum, are happy to bring you the one thing that is guaranteed to cheer you up and turn your Monday melancholy into the kind of joy known only to lottery winners, Jessica Alba’s boyfriend and ecstasy addicts. I give you … “Stars Go Blind”, the first song from Paris Hilton’s new album!

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: You Had Break-Up Sex, Didn’t You?

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janiston.jpg1. So the experiment worked. Blend Vince Vaughn’s smart-alecky frat guy humor with Jennifer Aniston’s generic feminine appeal, add a heaping spoonful of manufactured tabloid gossip, and you have a great recipe for tricking enough people into the theater to put an otherwise forgettable romantic comedy on top of the box office chart – $38.1 million

2. Just because this movie made less than a quarter of what it did last weekend, doesn’t mean director Brett Ratner will be any less over-rated, or any less determined to continue making his masterpieces of mediocrity – $34.4 million

3. Over the top CGI movies about talking animals who sound conspicuously like movie stars are like ATM machines for movie studios – $20.6 million

4. I think the public has finally cracked the code and discovered the truth about how much this movie sucks – $19.3 million

5. After this weekend’s huge numbers, the movie is now only about 2 million dollars short of reaching it’s goal to gross as much as the studio spent promoting it. Helicopters and sports cars ain’t cheap, people – $4.7 million

Study: Two out of Three Hansons Marry

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hanson.jpgThis past weekend, Zachary, the youngest member of the mmm-boppping boy-band Hanson married his long time girlfriend Kate Tucker in Atlanta. Zac, who is 20, followed in the footsteps of his older brother Taylor who wed his longtime girlfriend in 2002 when he was just 18. Now Tay-tay’s even got a four year old kid. Meanwhile 25 year-old Issac, the oldest brother-member of the band is still unwed. In the eyes of the uber-religious Hanson clan that makes Issac an old maid and potentially still a virgin. But if you want a Hanson who’s past his expiration date (but still fresh as a daisy), call up the Hanson Hotline, it was updated last week and we’re almost positive Isaac will pick up.

Breaking News: Smoking is HOT!

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elisha 4.jpgSummer’s here, and Elisha Cuthbert (star of The Girl Next Door and everybody’s second-favorite Paris Hilton movie, House of Wax) was spotted at Hyde night in Hollywood over the weekend sporting the coolest new celebrity accessory.

It’s called a cigarette, and just check out how cool she looks with it dangling out of her mouth as she stops to sign an autograph for a (hopefully young and impressionable) fan. Smokin’! Damn she looks good! Watch your back James Dean!

Now all somebody has to do is inform her that you’re supposed to light it.

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10 Movie & TV Duos That Were Probably Gay

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miyagi.jpgMaverick & Iceman? Gay. Cliff & Norm? Totally gay. Rocky & Apollo? Even my gay friends were uncomfortable during their awkward beach hug.

Cracked has a list of the 10 Movie & TV Duos that were probably gay. Noticeably missing: Zack & Slater, Bart & Milhouse, and Tony Almeida and Jack Bauer on 24. Yeah, that’s right, I called Jack Bauer gay. How else do you think he stays so intense for 24 hours straight? You need somebody riding your ass.

Who else do you think they missed? (link via Gorillamask)