High Score Your Way Into Heaven

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LeftBehind.jpgHave you heard the gospel of gaming? Essentially the most awesome thing to happen to Christianity since Kirk Cameron left Growing Pains, the makers of the Left Behind brand of evangelical entertainment have announced their latest soul-saving scheme: the official “End Times” video game! For all the wayward souls who would find their way to the Lord if they weren’t so busy playing PS2 all the time, there is now a fun and wholesome way to do both! Who needs to sit through a boring church service when you could spend Sunday morning navigating through level after apocalyptic level, using a variety of weapons to convert homosexuals and other heathen types to Christianity whilst doing battle with the Bible’s very own Bowser – the Anti-Christ Himself! Just beware the Mark of the Beast and sinful temptation!

This one’s really gonna give Grand Theft Auto a run for it’s money. And the best part is, if it sells well, we might even get the chance to experience Jesus’ crucifixion first-hand when Mel Gibson finally gets around to releasing “The Passion of the Christ: the Game“!

While You Were Wondering Who Was Listening To Your Phone Calls

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  • Lindsay Lohan used an ass double for her Coinslot skit on SNL. Her actual ass was way too wasted to make it to the set.
  • A popular pornstar says Tommy Lee is great in bed. No, not Pamela Anderson. A different one this time.
  • A New York hip-hop DJ was fired for taunting a rival radio personality by saying that he was going to “R. Kelly” the man’s young daughter. The station has a policy that nobody should be threatened with Trapped In The Closet under any circumstance.
  • Chris Tucker will earn $25 million to appear in Rush Hour 3, making him the highest paid actor in Hollywood. And rightfully so, I loved his last movie… Rush Hour 2.
  • Pete Doherty upset fans by failing to show up for a gig in Germany. The fans who actually expected Pete to show up were said to be higher than he was.

RANT: Are Celebs On Strike This Week?

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snoringguy1.jpgHas anyone else noticed that this has been a particularly slow celebrity news week? With the possible exception of Lindsay Lohan’s coked-up publicity tour, there has been an alarming draught of idiotic hijinx, juicy gossip and other assorted insanity for us to make fun of. Sure, Britney’s pregnant again, but that was totally unsurprising and mostly just sad. You celebs really need to stop sleeping on the job – Tom Cruise, as awesomely crazy as he may be, can’t keep carrying you people week after week. Even old stand-bys like Paris Hilton, Brangelina and Jessica Simpson have been quieter than Suri Cruise’s birth, keeping their absurd antics to a frightening minimum. For god’s sake, things are getting so bad that we’re resorting to round the clock coverage of a non-magician and his half-baked quest for attention. Now’s the time for all you fame-whore wannabes to step up to the plate and make something happen! I’m looking at you, Jessica Alba – why don’t you try doing something other than just being hot?

Please, we’re dying over here – and garden variety marriage/divorce/pregnancy rumors just aren’t gonna cut it. K-Fed’s album is “dropping” for weeks yet, so we’d really appreciate you celebs getting off your lazy asses and giving us something to ridicule in the meantime.

SIZZLER: Denise Richards Dumped?

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According to the new issue of In Touch, Richie Sambora has dumped spring fling Denise Richards after their public displays of balcony affection.

The magazine states: After upsetting his estranged wife, Heather Locklear, by hooking up with her ex-best friend, Denise Richards, Richie Sambora has ended his romance with Denise.

This means Sambora can patch up the ugly riff between him and his estranged wife, Locklear. It also means he can finally buy Charlie Sheen’s kid’s clothing designs, guilt-free!

PROPPED: Fergie and Mr. T

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Bless you cdotchen for dropping this vintage video of Mr. T coaching a very young Fergie on how to hit a baseball in an early episode of The Mr. T show. Between this pre-teen video of Fergie, this more recent video of a teenage Fergie on Kids Incorperated and this current video which features a middle-aged Fergie, we can see how the singer’s jowls have matured.

Got more videos to share? Drop it here or Prop up the ones you like!

SIZZLER: Nicole Dishes About Paris Feud

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nicole richie 2.jpgNicole Richie has finally revealed why she and Paris Hilton are no longer friends–

-Is it because of the alleged screening of One Night in Paris?
-Is it because of contract disputes on the set of The Simple Life?
-Is it because Paris called Nicole’s oversized red sunglasses “f**king stupid looking”?

Nope. According to a Vanity Fair interview, Nicole says, “When I got out of rehab, I had to figure out what path to go down, and part of that included taking certain people out of my life. I just decided I didn’t want to be her (Hilton’s) friend anymore. We’re just two completely different people; we don’t have that much in common.”

And then she totally screened One Night In Paris with all their friends. Yeah. That’s better.

Duck Hunt 2006: Better Graphics, Still Boring?

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duckhunt_200605.jpgCheck out this preview for the updated Duck Hunt, created for Nintendo’s hotshot new video game console, “Wii”. Maybe the bajillion-bit flashy graphics will somehow make shooting ducks over and over for hours on end somehow less boring! Also, what happened to the dog that laughs at you every time you miss?

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Music (For Robots) tries to hurry up and post a Sufjan Stevens song before the dude writes like 87 more.
  • Our friend Scotty Stereogum drops off the latest whining-with-power-chords offering from Muse, but isn’t really sure what to make of it.
  • Sample these goods from up-and-comers Cloud Cult – the most rocking thing to come out of Minnesota since Kirby Puckett!
  • Kentucky Fried Awesome has a few of the new Zero 7 songs, which also happen to feature the talented Jose Gonzalez.
  • Aquarium Drunkard stumbled on some promising tracks from relatively unkown newcomer Ben Weaver.

PROPPED: Google Idol

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google-idol.jpgWe know there are only three contestants left on American Idol. But don’t forget that there are loads more left on Google Idol. They may be less famous, less talented and less familiar with Elvis songs, but these lip-syncers have made some formidable home-made music videos. Vote for your favorite and show your support for performers with real talent time on their hands. Props to jackh01e for dropping off the link to one our favorite work diversions and reminding us that our vote still counts (on things that don’t matter).

Be a BWE idol and Drop off your own story, video or link or and Prop up some one else’s.

It’s May 11th; What’s up?

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tv set1.jpgGah! What to watch tonight? There’s a 7-minute X-Men preview on FOX, a new True Life on MTV, a That 70′s Show retrospective, and most importantly a handful of season finales including Smallville and My Name Is Earl. And of course, the finale of my favorite comedy on TV. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you which one it is. It’s been one of the biggest success stories of the year. People are calling it the funniest show on television. Its star has even branched out from TV to movies. The show that I’m talking about is, of course, Eve. On tonight’s season finale Shelly’s (played by Eve) mother Beverly finally reveals to Yusef that she is pregnant with his child. Meanwhile, Janie discovers that Rita is secretly throwing Botox parties at the store! Oh that Rita! She’s incorrigible! Be sure to tune into the UPN tonight for the season finale that everybody will be talking about tomorrow!

Oh, and the season finale of The Office airs tonight as well. What are YOU watching? Vote now!