UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: Nearly Nudes

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christina 1.jpgIt’s a time honored tradition– take off your clothes in a major magazine, people will pay attention. It’s proven to work time and time again: Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Condoleezza Rice– by taking off their clothes and posing provocatively in popular magazines, it’s made us listen to what they have to say. It’s amazing what some cleavage and airbrushing can do (no offense, Condi.)

From Oscar nominated actresses to Singled Out sidekicks, celebrities keep on dropping trow in magazines. Sometimes you’re excited to see them bare it all– Upgrade! Other times you wish their publicists knew the meaning of the word “No”– Downgrade! Vote now!

SIZZLER: Sambora Confirms He and Richards Are Over

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denise_richie.jpgRichie Sambora has confirmed he’s broken it off with Denise Richards , according to In Touch Weekly. The Bon Jovi rocker has reportedly stopped calling or emailing her abruptly. He even made an announcement at a recent concert in Dusseldorf, Germany: “Tell my female fans not to worry. They won’t have to fight Denise to get to me. I am single and ready to party.” Of course if any of his females fans would like to mud-wrestle Denise, that’s absolutely fine.

SIZZLER: Pete’s in Drag!

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At a recent show in Germany with band Babyshambles, Pete Doherty, dressed from head to toe as a women and performed an entire concert in drag. On the way to the concert, the singer was spotted smoking from a crack pipe, which according to tabloids explains his gender-bending performance. Smoking hormones makes the boobies grow faster.

Check out more pictures here
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LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Who needs English? Head over to Golfo. This Modern Blog! to download tracks by Wolfmother and the human beatbox Rahzel. It’s muy bien.
  • Shoes Are For Work has three Birthday-themed tracks today, including Michael Jackson and Bart Simpson’s “Happy Birthday Lisa.”
  • Awesome Until Proven Guilty posted remixes of tracks by Bloc Party, Wolfmother, and DFA 1979. Awesome indeed.
  • A demo from The Strokes? Check. My favorite Bright Eyes song? Check. The DIY Rockstar’s morning music? Worth checking out.
  • The Big Ticket posted an mp3 from the new band that you have to tell people you’ve liked “forever,” the Cold War Kids. Go get it now! I’m serious. Quick. Before your friend gets it first.

ICYMI: Hilariously Depressing SNL Sketch

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Vice President Al Gore made a really funny cameo on SNL last weekend, imagining what life might have been like in a parallel universe where the Supreme Court hadn’t decided they liked George W. Bush better back in 2000. Check it out now, then think about it again later tonight in this universe, as George W. Bush is explaining why he hates Mexicans!

It’s May 15; What’s up?

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tv set2.jpgSomebody has to talk to our president. It’s the middle of May, sweeps are in full effect, the conclusion of Grey’s Anatomy airs tonight, Oprah has a big primetime special scheduled… and what does he do? He arranges to address the nation at 8pm, thereby pushing all of our favorite shows back and inevitably screwing up our DVR’s beyond repair. NO WONDER his approval rating is at an all time low. I’m all for the President bettering the nation by addressing the public via the boob tube… but you know. Wait until June or something.

So what are YOU watching tonight? Are you going to watch Bush talk about aliens (the illegal ones, not the fun ones)? How I Met Your Mother? 24? The season finale of Prison Break? Vote now!

Aniston Makes a Difference (at Home)

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anistonTo compete with humanitarian and husband snatcher Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston is revealing herself as a humanitarian in her own right. While the actress doesn’t necessarily save babies, she has told press she does some of her own household chores. The actress told the British magazine HotDog: “I make my bed every day and I clean my kitchen. I have a housekeeper. But I still do that. I know that may shock you!” After all these years, anonymously cleaning, it’s time she get a little credit. Those hospital corners don’t just tuck by themselves, you know.

CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: Lohan Goes Down

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justluck.jpgSummer Blockbuster season has begun, during which time Hollywood rolls out the biggest and best goods they’ve got. Here’s what they came up with:

1. Ethan Hunt is desperately clinging to the cliff of success, suspended above the chasm of inevitable irrelevancy by his straining fingertips and sheer determination to brainwash the world – $24.5 million

2. Near…far…whereeeeeeeever you are…you probably didn’t go see this. Oh well, at least Celine Dion didn’t write any more f*cking songs – $20.3 million

3. Remember when Robin Williams was even remotely funny or entertaining? Me either – $9.5 million

4. People are always asking, “Why is Lindsay Lohan so famous? Like, what has she done to deserve the attention regularly showered upon her?” Well, smartypants, have YOU ever opened a poorly-reviewed movie in 4th place that grossed less than what you were paid to “star” in it? Wink wink – $5.5 million

5. Will there EVER be a week without at least one generic “horror” movie in the top 5? Who goes to these, and what could they possibly find scarier than the ridiculous plotting and hacky over-wrought dialogue? – $3.7 million

David Blaine’s Next Challenge

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blainebeastAfter failing to break the world record for holding his breath, David Blaine has devised a stunt more challenging, more death-defying and more unbelievable than anything he’s ever tried (and failed) before. He plans to live among wild beasts! Blaine told the New York Post, “I’m planning to live harmoniously among wild beasts,” he told The Post. “And I’d like to do it alone in the jungle.” Nobody ever has attempted something so dangerous, except several Las Vegas magicians.