It’s May 24th; What’s up?

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tv set4.jpgWe’re in TV purgatory right now. The shows we’ve been following all year are over. The summer shows haven’t started up yet. And tonight, the networks are running scared thanks to the final episode of American Idol. So what else do we have to choose from? Not much. TV Land is airing a show about our favorite TV Cars (I’m voting for KITT), Dr. Phil has another prime time special on CBS titled Escaping Addiction II (I’m voting for Addiction), and Top Chef is finally picking a winner (I’m voting for avoiding it). So that’s it. That’s all that’s on tonight. Those shows, and Idol.

Oh yeah, and some show called Lost. What, you thought I forgot?

Two other things to pay attention to tonight: Jennifer Aniston on Letterman and Gnarls Barkley on Conan. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

Pat Robertson: Talks To God, Leg Presses 1-Ton

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Pat Robertson at a gym somewhere. Probably in Chelsea.During times of tragedy– be it 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, or 2004′s tsunami– one question people tend to ask themselves is “Where was God?” Well, now we have an answer: He was helping Pat Robertson work on his quads.

According to the Christian Broadcasting Network’s website, Pat has developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients, that allows his 76-year-old ass to leg-press 2000 pounds. Unbelievable! To give you a point of reference, Jesus only leg-pressed about 800 pounds. That’s a big difference.

Clay Travis over at CBS Sportsline has challenged Pat to prove that he’s not full of it. Robertson– who speaks with God regularly and recently announced that a tsunami will hit the US this year– will undoubtedly take him up on this challenge, because if there’s one thing Pat Robertson has it’s integrity.

You can view the ingredients of Pat’s magical shake by clicking below. Surprisingly “creatine” is listed, but “prayer” is not.
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Milonakis Fuels the Firecrotch

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firecrotchGIF.gifBrandon Davis seems to have started a firecrotch that just won’t go out. You HAVE to see this hilarious paparazzi video in which MTV2 funnyman Andy Milonakis imitates Davis’ infamous tirade on his way out of some Hollwood nightclub. I’m not always the biggest Milonakis fan, but this sh*t is pretty funny.

While You Were Mourning the Loss of True Love

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SIZZLER: Nicole and DJ AM Split Again

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nicole_richie_dj_am.jpgNicole Richie and DJ AM officialy called off their relationship for the bajillionth time but they promise this is the last. The couple first got engaged in February 2005, but then broke up that December, but then got back together in March 2006 and then got engaged again last week. And now here we are, in splitsville. We’re not sure what happened on their end, but we just stopped trusting them after the last break up. And if you want a long-lasting relationship with the press it’s got to be built on trust.

Best Night Ever: Tuesday, May 23rd!

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It’s Best Night Ever for Tuesday, May 23! Alex Blagg is here to walk you through the best of Tuesday night tv, including American Idol, Stephen King’s Desperation, and the Country Music Awards!

…Of The Day

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  • AT LEAST THEY’RE STILL WORKING: The Gin Blossoms are rockin’ out cafeterias on the East Coast (Deadspin)
  • MANBEARPIG: Ashton Kutcher and his brand new beard (Celebutaint)
  • MUSIC VIDEO: Guster’s “One Man Wrecking Machine.” Best video since Blur’s Milk Carton Guy. (Screenhead)
  • A TIRADE MADE FOR A QUEEN: Elton John calls a rude individual a “f**kwit.” (The Velvet Hot Tub)
  • GUESS WHAT ENDED UP IN RYAN SEACREST’S ASS TODAY: Glass. This time. (Defamer)

ICYMI: Lindsay Lohan, Verne Troyer Get in Cars

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verne.jpgTMZ has some pretty Lindsay Lohan leaving club Shag, post-firecrotch assualt. Sure she was a victim of a malicious attack. But shortly after her car pulls out of the driveway, the paparazzi also catches Mini-Me emerging from the same club on some dude’s shoulders as if he was a kid at a parade. Watching the lil guy struggle to get in the drivers seat of his car (yes he drives!) really puts the whole firecrotch-thing in perspective. Or it just serves as a freakish diversion untill there’s more gossip about Lindsay’s woman parts.

See the paparazzi footage of Lohan and Troyer here.

Don’t Blame Brad & Angelina For Baby’s Stupid Name

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brangelina1.jpgWith so many damn celebrities giving their children stupid names, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided to take the easy way out– they’re letting somebody else do their dirty work.

The closest person to the couple since their arrival in Namibia, governor Samuel Nuuyoma has revealed that the two celebrities have given him the honour to name the baby when it arrives, “anytime soon”.

“When she goes to the hospital, as the father of the region, I will be informed and I will go there. I will announce the good news and I will name the baby,” Nuuyoma stated with excitement.

The governor hasn’t dropped any clues as to what he’s going to name the child, but he promises it won’t be nearly as ridiculous as Bluebell Madonna.

Guess the Coinslot!

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In Hollywood, coinslots are the latest must-have accessory for any self-reflecting starlet. They’re so important that there is a cream made especially for coinslot moisturizing and Lindsay Lohan has even been known to employ the services of a coinslot double. Now it’s time for you to practice your coinslot identification skills by telling us which starlet the following coinslot belongs to. We’ll post the answer in the comments later.
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