While You Were Aborting Your Labor Day Plans…



  • 50 Cent is looking to duet with Elton John. In a related story, 2 Live Crew is still sitting by the phone, waiting for Celine Dion to call back.
  • While you may never actually lay eyes on Suri Cruise, one artist is finally giving America a sculpture of what it really wants to see: Suri’s Bronzed Baby Poop. We poop you not.
  • Waaaaaay before Jennifer Aniston weddorced Brad Pitt, way before she was earning the GDP of Pakistan for each episode of Friends, way before her hairstyle was a point of national and international intrigue, Jennifer Aniston wore Mom Jeans.
  • Posh Spice claims she is just the girl next door. Assuming you live in a Prostitute Cul-de-Sac.
  • Today’s Award for Worst Pun Headline goes to The Sun, who reports that the lovely Ms. Paltrow has gone Gwyn-dow Shopping.

…Of The Day


  • FUN FACT: Over the course of their lifetime, British women spend 2 1/2 years on their hair. And 45 minutes on their teeth. (Daily Mail)
  • WELCOME TO THE PROS: Your pro-athlete career really begins when you start fathering kids out of wedlock. Shawn Kemp, watch your back– Paris’ ex-bf Matt Leinart has gotten off to a fast start. (Deadspin)
  • BABY MAMMA DRAMA: Nicole Kidman’s rep accused photo agencies of manipulating photos to make the actress look pregnant… yet somehow still uninteresting. (MSNBC)
  • POLITICAL STRATEGY: Simply put: Before he ran for govenor in 1980, Jerry Springer had sex with a prostitute. And he paid her with a check. And people found out about it. So he made a commercial. And not only did he admit to it, he tried to spin it. And here it is. And… wow. (Gorillamask)
  • NEW REASON TO HATE ENTOURAGE: Worse than firing Ari and worse than Kevin Connolly’s acting– K-Fed is joining the cast for 3 episodes. Lloyd!!!! (IDLYITW)



Tricia Brown 2.JPGTricia Brown 3.JPGKate Bryant.GIFJen.PNGGreg Walker.JPGClint McGuire.JPG
Guess what: Jessica Simpson lost her voice and has been reduced to carrying around a sign. Lucky for us, BWE.tv readers are here to help. Check out some of favorite entries so far, then make your own by clicking here. Email your entries to contests@bwe.tv. Have fun!

CELEBRITY MATH: Mugshot Edition


Take a look at today’s round of celebrity math. Which celebrity mugshot does the following equation equal?


(Mugshot courtesy of TMZ) (We would also like to add that “The Square Root of Nolte” would make for a great band name.)

ICYMI: iPod + Colbert = Awesome


When sudden Webgod Stephen Colbert threw down his “Green Screen Challenge”, encouraging viewers to manipulute footage of him pantomiming the famed “Star Wars Kid” viral video, I wonder if he thought he’d get anything as creative as the submission below, which we found over at TV Squad.

Get These MFing Snakes Out My MFing Garage!


SNAKESPLANE1.JPGMost people, including ourselves, turn to Ebay to find beloved goods that have virtually disappeared from store shelves: Fleece Laura Ashley tunics, nubuck Birkenstocks, tattered clown dolls. But one literaly genius has taken this summer’s internet phenomenon, Snakes on a Plane, and turned it into an interactive movie of sorts! In a fun and visually exciting Ebay listing, the seller (aka “proximityfx”) offers up “The Official Un-Official Snakes on a Fisher-Price Plane Little People Action Airport & Fun-Jet Set.” The set comes with a plastic plane, little plastic people (easily devoured by snakes or your family dog), and a bag of ginormous (replica) snakes. (Imagination sold separately. Am I right, America?)

Is more convincing needed? It’s a Fun-Jet Set folks! There’s even a little black, bald plastic Samuel L. Jackson! (Link via Goldenfiddle)

p.s. We just want to add one thing. Forget the hype: Snakes on a Plane was really the most movie fun we’ve had all summer. Try and see it before it’s relegated to TBS.

LISTEN UP: Hipsterrific!



  • Those indie rock snobs over at Pitchfork put down their pretenses long enough to post a new track from The Decemberists.
  • Stereogum says that Land of Talk is a band to watch, so if you’re eyes aren’t immediately glued to them, you’re clearly neither hip nor cool.
  • Without even listening to their music, I have a hunch that Margot and the Nuclear So So’s might be the coolest band ever – go to MOKB and see whether you agree.
  • Watch your back, Danny Elfman! The Rawking Refuses to Stop thinks that Hylozoists would compose some pretty amazing film scores.
  • Surviving the Golden Age has a bunch of just-released tracks, unironically putting a new Bob Dylan tune right next to one from Young Dro. Hey, it takes all kinds.

GAMETIME: Guess The Celebrity!



Who’s this beautiful tub of lard barrelling through St. Tropez, France? Is it:

a) a slimmed-down Rosie O’Donnell
b) a back-from-the-dead Chris Penn
c) a back-from-the-dead Steven Seagal
d) a neatly trimmed Adam Duritz

The answer is in the Comments. Good luck!