GAMES: Create Your Own Simpsons Character


simp2.JPGIn honor of The Simpsons kicking off their 37th season last night (ballpark estimate), you should head on over to The Simpsonmaker to create your very own Simpsons character. For two reasons:

You’ve always wondered what you’d look like if you lived in Springfield

  • 2. Judging by the premiere, this could very well be the most entertaining thing about The Simpsons this year. Have fun.
  • Stormy the Weatherdog Pleads for Your Help


    Stormy2.JPGWe thought animals and weatherman couldn’t get anymore adorable than last week’s “roach on leg” fiasco… and we were wrong. Because today we became acquianted with Stormy the Weatherdog, an animal whose face just screams “good times.” Stormy is part of the CBS 19 Newsteam in East Texas — seriously, he’s in their banner and everything — and accompanies the Chief Meteorologist in all of his reports. If the weather outside is rainy, Stormy arrives on set with a tiny brelly. If it’s cold, he’s in a sweater. And when the sun is shining, Stormy dons a visor and mats his fur down with sunscreen and bronzer in an effort to teach children about melanoma safety. Which makes us wonder: What will happen if Texas sees their own deadly hurricane? Will Stormy understand the severity of the situation, or will he just keep licking his sack as per yoozh?

    All jokes aside, Stormy seems like a fun addition to the newscast. But it would be nearly impossible for him to compete with our favorite canine weatherman, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

    LISTEN UP: Totally Krossed Out


    • I Am Fuel, You Are Friends remembers 9/11 by posting tracks from 2001’s America: Tribute To Heroes. So head on over there for Springsteen, Neil Young, U2 and more.
    • Meanwhile, Ear Farm is taunting ObL by posting tracks by bin Laden’s dream woman’s husband, Bobby Brown. Hey, at least it’s something.
    • Badminton Stamps posted Kriss Kross’ “I Missed The Bus” today, a song I haven’t heard in about 14 years. When are those guys gonna go on The Surreal Life?
    • Nerd Litter has a few Blackalicious tracks today, including the must-download “Alphabet Aerobics”.
    • Finally, head on over to Brooklyn Vegan for 14 live Ted Leo tracks.

    EXCLUSIVE: Ashlee Simpson Drops $11K, Looks Pretty, Acts Nice


    Ashlee.JPGFine, fine. Not the most sordid headline of all time. But for those of you wondering what the real fake-looking Ashlee Simpson is like, perhaps you’ll enjoy this peek into an evening with the young singer. Saturday evening, Ashlee and her mini-entourage stopped by Barney’s New York with only 20 minutes til closing, to peruse the merch and possibly purch. Our source, who was with Ashlee during her spree, describes the scene as such: Employees roped off four dressing rooms for Ashlee and her friends, which were stuffed to the gills with clothes — size ZERO, if you were wondering. She then somehow magically tried on everything in the four rooms in under 20 minutes, all the while “looking really beautiful”, with her bodyguard standing closeby. At the end of the fitting room frenzy, Ashlee ended up purchasing $11,000 worth of merchandise (again, while being in the store for under 30 minutes), including some items for her friends and her assistant.

    And the mark of “Wow, maybe she’s not a d-bag”? Lil’ Simpson refused to have her clothes wrapped and folded, telling the salesman to just shove her new purchases in the shopping bag. Way to keep it real, Ash! Real wrinkled. Hey-OH!

    Project Runway: Santino Roots for Jeff, Disses Klum


    santino.JPGIf you’ve been watching Project Runway this season, you are aware of who the editors have pegged as “the Villain”: Jeffrey Sebalia, he of the weak-chinned and windy neck tattoos. Throughout the season, people have compared Jeff to last year’s pseudo-villain Santino, who at least redeemed himself with a killer Tim Gunn impersonation. Both of them are misfits, and both prefer shredding a hem rather than stitching one. Which is why Santino’s following Myspace bulletin struck us as so funny. They’re friends!

    So Bravo’s Project Runway 3 is having a Fan favorite contest…..
    Winner get $10,000….
    Vote for my friend Jeffrey Sebelia,
    If you’ve been swayed by the editing of this complex man, DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!
    Jeff’s the real deal and I’m in 100% support of him.

    P.P.S. Jeffrey is Jeffrey, Santino is Santino. Jeffrey is not this season’s Santino. Or trying to be anything other than himself. McQueen is not trying to be Westwood…. In many ways Jeffrey and I couldn’t be more different. Comparing us, as Heidi did in the first episode, just shows her ignorance. (I often wonder if she knows what she’s looking at, ever?) Unfortunately, I received too many comments already that reitterate Heidi’s sentiments. Jeffrey is as passionate as I am about creating HIS idea of beauty. RESPECT IS MUTUAL.

    Defensive much? And I know he did not just call Mizz Heidi Klum ignorant. It seems pretty universal that lederhosen lingerie is so not the sexy.

    CAPTION THIS! Brad Goes Berserk


    brad pitt.jpg

    Instead of making one up, here’s what Brad had to say about this pic: “That’s the picture that’s going to end up when I have breakdown or something … if I get arrested for a DUI later on, make racial slurs or something.”

    Well, he set it up, now it’s time for you to knock it down. Leave your Captions in the Comments now.

    Ballpark Prank Proves to Be Both Meaty and Hilarious


    yankees1.JPGEver wonder what it feels like to be Derek Jeter on the field at Yankee Stadium? One easy way is to buy some high-waisted Z. Cavariccis and morph your face into a way handsome baby. But another cheaper, more plausible way is to follow in the footsteps of one prankster, Rob Lathan, who set up a brilliant chanting scenario at Yankee Stadium. It goes like this: Rob walked the aisles “looking” for his seat, while his friends kept yelling “Rob! Rob!” to get his attention. Soon, other strangers joined in with the Rob chanting, while Rob, seemingly deaf, aimlessly looked around for his seat. Some strangers got creative, changing the chant from “WHERE IS ROB? WHERE IS ROB?” to the more straightforward “ROB’S RE-TAR-DED (CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP CLAP).” Every time Rob made an appearance in a section, the crowd would go wild screaming his name. The result? By the end of the game, a Rob apperance would cause the entire stand to jump to their feet and shout his name. People wanted pictures, autographs, starlets threw themselves at him. For the rest of the night, Rob was Derek Jeter. We really hope he gets tested.

    Read about the prank and see fan photos here. Pure genius!

    SIZZLER: Kirsten Dunst A Bad Lay In Cars, Bathroom, By The Sea


    dunst.jpgHollywood couples come and go so quickly it’s easy to assume that celebrities don’t work as hard as the rest of when it comes to building solid relationships. We think they’re flighty. We think that once the initial infatuation starts to die down, the average movie star will cut and run, never to think of their ex-lover ever again. Well, in the case of Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal, we couldn’t be more wrong. Those kids gave it their all. Just look at what Kirsten had to say in a recent interview:

    “Jake and I couldn’t last. He’s a stay-at-home boy and I’m an out-on-the-town girl. We tried to spice things up – we had sex in cars, in the bathroom and even by the sea. The only place we didn’t have the guts to try was in a walkway in a hotel because we thought we might get kicked out if we were caught.”

    So there you have it; celebrities really are just like us. And to think, if only they were able to have sex in that walkway, maybe they would’ve lasted longer. Like, at least 6 or 7 minutes longer (depending on how tired Jake was).

    PROPPED: Crocodile Hunter Mario Spoof


    You don’t want to laugh at this. You really don’t. It’s too soon, you say. The acting is terrible, the effects are amateurish and the concept isn’t all that clever, you claim. But then you watch it. Twice. And that’s when you realize, dammit, that Super Mario Brothers music makes everything kinda funny. Even this.

    Thanks to tonygarcia for Dropping this (and once again insuring that we go directly to hell.) Got something you want us to see? Drop it now!

    Anna Nicole Smith’s Son Dies at 20


    AnnaNicole.JPGIf you were closet fans of the Anna Nicole Smith show on E!, as we were, you will surely remember her teenage son Daniel. It was the strangest thing — there was his Mom, former Playboy Playmate, bit of a loose cannon, tabloid fodder and butt of many jokes. Then there was her son, who against all odds seemed like a really nice, normal teenage boy. Well, we are saddened to report that Daniel Smith passed away yesterday while vacationing in the Bahamas. He was only 20 years old. Anna’s attorney Howard K. Stern reports that they do not believe drugs or alcohol played a part in the passing. This tragic news comes only a few days after Anna Nicole gave birth to a healthy baby girl. We are genuinely saddened by the news — because, let’s face it, deep down we all love Anna Nicole. We wish her our condolences and hope that, for once, the media will step back and allow this woman some privacy.