Don’t let the title of this game fool you– it has very little to do with dancing and a lot to do with beating the ever-loving s**t out of Kevin Federline in front of his pregnant baby-holding wife and douchey onlookers. Now doesn’t that sound like a whole lot more fun?
As the bouncer of the new and popular night spot Club Douche, your mission is to keep your eyes peeled for Mr. Federline – as he’s guaranteed to stop by and start trouble.
You can play by clicking here. Or you can just hunt down K-Fed and play in person. Whichever you’d prefer.
I have 3 questions about tonight’s Tuesday night lineup: (1) After Fear Factor: Reality Stars finishes up, where does Trishelle go next? She’s officially run out of shows! Is she going to just start showing up in studio audiences to get on camera? I can’t wait to find out. (2) Is Denis Leary forcing himself on his ex-wife in Rescue Me a better or worse career decision than starring in The Ref? And (3) Has everybody given up on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency? That show has about as much buzz as Pepper Dennis… which is also on tonight! What are the odds?
Well, I know what I’m watching tonight: My Super Sweet 16 on MTV (because it never disappoints) and Last Comic Standing. What about you? What are YOU watching? Vote now!
If you didn’t catch this morning’s two minutes of faux affection and genuine awkwardness as Star Jones formally announced her long forseen departure from The View, here’s the clip so that you can more closely examine the nuances of her co-hosts’ Oscar-worthy portrayals of supportive friendship, and then lament the fact that you’ll never get to see Star and future host Rosie O’Donnell angrily try to eat each other to death.
If you like the Editors and you like free stuff, today’s your lucky day. We here at BWE are going to give away a bunch of Editors merchandise, including a copy of their album The Back Room on CD and vinyl, a rarities CD, and a 7-inch single. You want it? Come and get it.
All you have to do to enter is send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Make sure you include your name and address so we know where to send your swag. We’ll pick a winner at random by the end of the day. Winner chosen! Thanks for entering.
After you submit your entry, you can watch their video for “Munich” right here. Good luck!
Just because Axl Rose’s abilities as a performer aren’t anywhere near what they were 15 years ago doesn’t mean his childish off-stage hijinx aren’t right back to their prime. First he got into a slap-fight with an aging, effeminate fashion designer during some movie star’s birthday party. Pretty hardcore. Now the cornrowed rocker has gotten himself arrested in Sweden after starting a fight with a woman that resulted in a drunken bar brawl, then biting the leg of the security guard who tried to break the whole thing up. It may not be the 80s, it may not be setting the Sunset Strip on fire, and Axl may no longer be musically or culturally relevant, but you’ve at least got give the guy a B for effort.
Supermodel Naomi Campbell, who is appearing in court today to face charges of physically abusing a maid who lost a pair of her blue jeans, has been accused of yet another abuse incident, by another maid, over another pair of misplaced jeans. Are you listening, Home Cleaning Professionals? For your own well-being, please pay extremely close attention to the following advisory warning, because one day it could save your life:
Never, EVER, under any circumstances, misplace a pair of Naomi Campbell’s jeans.
Also, you must understand that this violent behavior is not Naomi’s fault – she has an abuse abuse problem. We all know that celebrity and addiction go hand in hand – Pete Doherty to drugs, Charlie Sheen to sex, Britney Spears to misery – and Naomi is no different: she wants to stop beating the help, but first she needs to get help for her problem (then not beat them).
You think Kevin Federline is annoying? Imagine living with him. According to Life & Style magazine:
Insiders says heâ€™s driving wife Britney Spears crazy with his nonstop rapÂping around the house â€” especially when sheâ€™s trying to have a serious conversation with him. â€œShe says itâ€™s way beyond a joke now,â€ says a Spears family friend. â€œSheâ€™ll be talking to him, and then heâ€™ll burst into some rap rhymes without warning or apparent reason.
Just try to imagine that– K-Fed following you around the house, rapping without warning. No way to shut him up. No escape. No wonder Britney looked like such a mess during her Matt Lauer interview. How could she be expected to keep it together when she has PopaZao rapping in her face all day?
We’re sorry for being so hard on you Britney. We never fully understood the daily trauma you’re forced to endure.
What kind of Messiah would Brangelina’s baby Shiloh be if her blessed life were not worshipped and honored in song? Admit it, while slightly repulsed, you’re not altogether surprised that someone has finally taken the initiative to write the inevitable “Shiloh Nouvel” song. The divinely-inspired musicians are none other than The Fresh, an LA-based musical comedy duo. Go to their MySpace page, turn up the volume, and give your most reverent attention to the beatific sounds of this most holy choir.
In what is turning out to be the greatest – and grossest – trading card collection since Garbage Pail Kids, Gallery of the Absurd’s Celebrity Trading Cards combine artistic talent with inane celeb gossip and produce hilariously creative results. There are only two cards so far (the first depicted Jessica Simpson’s creepy dad), but I can’t wait to see what sort of besteverness those kids come up with next.
Tom Cruise conspiracy theories are fun. Tom picked Katie Holmes to be his gf off a list of available actresses; Katie signed a multimillion dollar 5-year girlfriend contract; She was never pregnant; Suri doesn’t exist; War of The Worlds wasn’t a terrible movie; Tom likes women; etc, etc, etc. Well, now there’s a new one to add to the list:
Tom Cruise was never actually married to Nicole Kidman.
The BBC is reporting that Kidman’s 10-year union to Cruise wasn’t recognized by the Catholic Church of Australia. The service was seen only as a legal ceremony and not a spiritual one. In other words, according to the Catholic Church anyway, it never happened. [continue reading]
Okay, okay, so the full story is actually Tom Cruise was never actually married to Nicole Kidman in the eyes of the Catholic church. But come on. Where’s the fun in that?