1. Even without bringing back neon pastel suits, rolled up sleeves, Don Johnson or anything else remotely awesome about the original, Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx barely manage to eek past Pirates, which must have been difficult since the swashbuckling juggernaut has been out for, oh, about a month now – $25.2 million
2. I hope the enormous box office success of this sea-faring blockbuster means one day that Hollywood might just have Johnny Depp start playing every role in all of his movies. Then I’d finally get to see him do Fear and Loathing on a Carnival Cruise Line: Captain Jack Meets Dr. Gonzo – $20.5 million
3. John Moviegoer Must Not Care, but it is nice to see the Hollywood Writer’s Guild giving equal opportunities to the mentally handicapped, even if that does mean hacky Christian Slater-less rip-offs of Heathers – $14.1 million
4. I don’t really know much about this movie, but the truth is it doesn’t matter because I already know everything I need to about monsters: Wolfman does indeed “got nards” – $11.5 million
5. After A Bug’s Life, Antz, The Ant Bully and Just My Luck, it would seem that Hollywood has a huge obsession with making kids movies about repulsive pests – $8.1 million
I’ve never been to Fire Island, but from what I hear it’s a fun place loaded with attractive people in their mid-twenties who hang out on the beach every day and get wasted and hook up with each other every night. Sounds like a perfect set-up for a reality show, right? One Ocean View premieres tonight on ABC, and I’m hoping it fills the Laguna Beach void in my life. (Casting the MySpace pin-up/ Playboy model to the left definitely helps, by the way.)
Tonight NBC drops the cleverly titled StarTomorrow (get it??) on us, and TNT has new episodes of The Closer and Saved. And oh yeah, it’s SHARK WEEK on the Discovery Channel. So what are YOU watching? Vote now!
Stephen Colbert. Comedian. Newsman. Vessel of Truthiness. Superhero? According to Marvel Comics, the answer is yes. Editor-in-chief of Marvel Joe Quesada presented Colbert with this comic book mock-up on his show Thursday night, with Colbert killing what he believes to be the biggest threat to our freedom as Americans… a big bear. You know, they should really give all Daily Show contributors their own comic books. Who doesn’t want to see Jon Stewart kick some political ass while in a head-to-toe body stocking? (Click thumbnail to enlarge… your heart.)
Friday night at 11pm Best Week Ever will air its 100th episode. For the past two and a half years we’ve said a lot of intentionally hilarious things about a lot of unintentionally hilarious celebrities. In honor of reaching this milestone, all this week we’re going to countdown our five favorite celebrities and remind you in 100 seconds why we love making fun of them. Today, we celebrate #5– Paris Hilton.
Who’s #4? Make sure you come back tomorrow to find out.
Listen up, it’s official: Singer James Blunt is the fourth most annoying thing ever, according to a British survey published today. Blunt’s #1 hit “You’re Beautiful” has already been banned from a number of British radio stations, following an unfortunate trend of bile shooting out of people’s earholes. According to the survey, Blunt is more annoying than “stepping in dog poo”, “heat rash” and “diahorrea”. While Blunt may be annoying, it’s fair to say that when faced with the quandry of listening to his lady-like vocals or having a horrible, sweat-inducing bout of the rhea, we’d choose Jamesy any day.
Check out the whole list after the jump, and note the quirky British slang of such items as “Somebody nicking your parking spot” (#34), and “Running out of loo roll” (#39). Also note #1. What are the odds that’s the only answer given by 90 percent of those surveyed before slamming the phone down?
It’s Best Night Ever for Sunday, July 30th! Pete and Brian are here to walk you through the best of Sunday night tv, including The Dog Whisper, Mind of Mencia, and Dirty Jobs!
The trusty dirt-diggers over at TMZ have just released an exclusive report claiming that Mel Gibson was arrested last night in LA on suspicion of Driving Under the Influence. While details are still sketchy, a spokesman for the Sherriff’s Department reported that Gibson was released this morning, but the investigation is still ongoing. It’s hard to dispute an official booking report, but a holy man such as Gibson surely can’t be guilty of the crimes of which he’s been accused. Sure, he might have been having a late-night communion at a nearby tavern, but he had no choice other than to continuously cleanse himself with the blood of christ to be absolved of his sinful lust for the cocktail waitress in the low-cut blouse. No matter what Johnny Law says, Catholicism is not a crime, and the LAPD shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this blatant religious persecution. After all, what would Jesus do? I think He’d turn the other cheek or, in this case, toss Mel his car keys and a bottle of scotch.