AD WIZARDS: The iDont Campaign

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idont-poster.jpgAs one of millions of people who choose to use an iPod for my portable music playing needs, I am apparently a sheep, a chimp and a puppet of the “oppressive forces of cultural conformity”. According to the angry revolutionaries behind the “iDont Campaign“, those who elect to utilize the iPod’s streamlined, user-friendly music-playing apparatus are hindering “freedom, choice and self-expression”. You might have noticed the “gritty” series of fake-graffiti posters around your city, depicting chimps, donkeys and sheep with the iPod’s trademark white earphones, angrily declaring “there is now an alternative”.

So what is that alternative? And what kind of philanthropic non-profit organization could be responsible for getting this important message of hope to the masses? Why the SanDisk Sansa e200, of course! Resembling the old iPod almost exactly, and available for approximately the same price, the Sansa e200 allows you to suffer inferior music-playing capabilities and frustrating incompatibility without the worries of feeling like a “follower”. Because nothing is cooler or more “indie” than arbitrarily rejecting quality just because it’s “mainstream”!

LISTEN UP: BWE’s Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • We keep on linking MOKB because they keep on delivering. Today they have a bunch of artists covering The Beach Boys’ “God Only Knows.” David Bowie, Phantom Planet, Giant Drag; they’re all great, but don’t overlook the Mandy Moore/ Michael Stipe version. You think I’m kidding.
  • A Hundred Miles Off by The Walkmen finally comes out tomorrow. The Camera As Pen has two tracks to tide you over until then.
  • There’s some high quality live Bloc Party over at …Good Weather for Air Strikes. Download their whole Coachella set now.
  • Cody ChesnuTT is best known as the guy who wrote the song The Roots sampled for “The Seed 2.0.” Head over to FPSA to grab the original demo, as well as two other songs by this completely underrated artist.
  • Kanye’s “Keep The Receipt” featuring Dirt McGirt is making me miss Big Baby Jesus more than ever. Head over to Lemon-Red you’ll understand why.

SIZZLER: TomKat Wedding Postponed

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tomkat.JPGTom Cruise is so ready to get married to Kate, in fact he wants it more than anything in the world, but it’s Kate who’s just not ready.

Apparently, her Scientology re-programming is not yet complete. So Tom has reportedly pushed back the wedding until Kate has fully been converted been drained of her hormones. In the coming months Katie will reportedly undergo intensive training on “how to spot and avoid anyone critical of Scientology.” She will also have a filtered exposure to the outside world while she trains to be the best wife ever. But if this is what it takes to have a happy marriage it’s worth it. And they’re already half-way there with Tom being so in love and Kate’s internal hard-drive being programmed to read BE_TOMWIFE2.ftp

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: Ellen’s Big Day

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The Pussycat Dolls dropped by Ellen today, and I don’t know what Ellen was more excited about: the fact that she was surrounded by a bevy of scantily clad women or the fact that she had another excuse to dance. Either way, she looked happier than a pig in s**t lesbian in a sea of Pussycat Dolls. For your consideration…

SIZZLER: Paris Hilton Is ‘Crazy’

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gnarlsbarkley.jpgThe latest development in Paris Hilton’s un-awaited, completely futile attempt at a music career is that the album is being “put on hold” because Paris would like to record a cover of Gnarls Barkley’s hotter-than-firecrotch anthem “Crazy“. Yeah, there’s nothing the universally adored hip-hop duo needs more than having their massive hit single associated with the only album this year that has a chance of being more comically horrible than Kevin Federline’s. Hell, I doubt even Charles Barkley would allow her to sample a song from his long-unreleased 1992 hip-hop masterpiece, Slammin’.

UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE: Nostalgia Theater

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rocky 6.jpgBlame The Fugitive. Or blame The Brady Bunch. Or blame Sylvester Stallone– for years Hollywood has been playing off of our love of nostalgia more than I Love The 80′s and YouTube combined. Every summer we’re subjected to another remake or sequel or “re-imagination” of a couple of our favorite movies or TV shows from our childhood, and throughout the year we’re forced to read about even more of our old favorites being dug up and repackaged for a new generation of fans. Sometimes we’re excited about these franchises coming back– it’s like meeting up with an old friend that you haven’t seen in years: Upgrade! Other times we wish the studios would just let them Die Hard and not return with a Vengence: Downgrade!

Which upcoming and/or rumored to be upcoming films are you excited about? Vote now!

PROPPED: Samuel L. Jackson Action

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There’s a reason Samuel L. Jackson is the only man who could possibly handle the terrifying and highly unlikely scenario in which deadly snakes ended up loose on an airplane: the guy can do anything. Reader cdotchen dropped us several examples of why – from football to physics to hockey – nobody is more motivational than Sam “the motherf*cking renaissance man” Jackson. Watch them all and drop us off some more of the hilarity!

SIZZLER: Prince’s Trust Grows

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charles tongue.jpg At most royal functions it is customary to greet the Prince with heavy tongue. Natasha Hamilton, one of those pop singers that was only really big in England until today, greeted Prince William at the Prince’s Trust concert with more than just a peck. But Natasha’s flack writes on her website: “The picture was a real fluke, Tash’s tongue is not protruding it’s actually the inside of her cheek and the shadow is cast by the Prince.” That’s awful pink for a shadow, Tash.

SIZZLER: Cruise’s Kids’ Forced to Read

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cruise-airport3.jpgTom Cruise reportedly bans his two kids, Isabella, 13, and Connor, 11, from watching TV or playing video games. He tells Ireland’s Evening Echo, “The kids have no computer games. And absolutely no television. None. They can listen to music and read just about any book they want, and they can choose the movies they want to see on the weekends, within reason.” But according to Katie Holmes that’s nothing– at least they’re allowed to talk.