While You Were Holding Your Breath for 10 Minutes

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  • Jake Gyllenhaal is dating an Olympic snowboarder. But he’ll always be a gay cowboy to us.
  • Tori Spelling may be pregnant. But she’ll always be a virgin to Aaron.
  • Katie Holmes’ parents meet Suri for the first time. Also introduced to ‘Kate.’
  • Hollywood’s hottest trend is having a baby before marriage. Making it the only trend to hit West Virginia first.
  • The View couch is not big enough for Rosie and Star. No seriously, is there another love seat or something?
  • The Dixie Chicks are some of the most influential people according to Time Magazine because of their political views. But Redbook would argue it’s all about their recipes.

Samaire Armstrong Is the New Jessica Alba

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samaire1.jpgNow that Jessica Alba has been crowned ‘most beautiful’ by every magazine ever (okay, just all the different versions of People), her inevitable downfall as America’s Beauty Queen is imminent, leaving the spot open for a new starlet we can worship until someone better comes along. I humbly suggest The OC’s Samaire Armstrong, who recently set Stuff Magazine on fire. She’s got that good-girl quality you want to bring home to mom and dad, but something tells me there’s a hellcat hiding behind that smile.
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Jack Bauer Bumpin’ Bea Arthur

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goldengirls1.jpgAfter noticing the music from House M.D. inexplicably playing during an episode of Prison Break, TVGasm asks the question “What would happen if TV shows accidentally played the theme songs from other TV shows in the middle of an episode?” The imagined mash-up answer is, in a word, hilarious.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: M:I3 and a Half

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When Tom Cruise attacked New York City last week, we here at BWE.tv went on a mission of our own– deliver Tom a stuffed TomKat for baby Suri. Our agent followed Tom from location to location via land, sea and air (okay, mostly land.) Will he deliver the goods? Watch the video now to see a real impossible mission!

Does Lohan’s Man Have Something in Common with JT Leroy?

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Call us crazy, but doesn’t Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend, James Burke, look a lot like J.T. Leroy–the fake writer who turned out to be portrayed by a girl?

We know Lindsay’s new man is a model, an Oxford student, a musician, a former prep school pot smoker and an ex-boytoy of Kate Moss

But mainly we know he wears the same accessories as a certain fake writer. Call us crazy, but when ever see a guy in a wig, a fedora and dark glasses, we assume they are hiding something, presumably a woman.

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Gorilla vs Bear gives us an all-new, soon-to-be everywhere song from those crazy boys in OutKast!
  • Said the Gramophone says that blog-buzz magnet Lily Allen is one of the best new artists of the year.
  • Red Blondehead serves as ambassador for the eclectic sounds of Sweden’s shoegazer pop group, Sambassador.
  • The Underrated Blog has a new song from Sia, who you might remember as the singer you rushed to download after last year’s Six Feet Under finale.
  • Brooklyn Vegan dishes up a few tracks from the hilarious joke-rock group Pleaseeasaur, who has just been picked up by Comedy Central’s record label.

CELEBRITY TRANSLATOR: Lohan In Translation

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lohandumb1.jpgDespite what those liars at Us Weekly might tell you, celebrities are in fact nothing like us. They’re more like cosmic beings with a mysterious language understandable only to their own kind, which is why your friends here at BWE will employ our patented Celebrity Translator Technology to enlighten you with the real meaning of the Words of the Stars. This week, Lindsay Lohan is doing her best publicity full-court press, giving interviews to anyone who’ll have her. The following translations come from this Q&A with the Coming Soon website – be sure to read all the translations after the jump!

LOHAN, regarding why she chose to join the cast of Prarie Home Companion: “Would you turn down a movie that Robert Altman was directing and Meryl Streep was playing your mother in? I wouldn’t recommend it if you wouldn’t say yes.”

TRANSLATION: “I didn’t know who those people were, but my agent recommended that I say yes.”
Read more…

ICYMI: Joan Rivers Gets Sloppy at the Logie Awards

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Sure she gets a little punchy on the E! red carpet, but why does she wait till she’s all the way in Australia to finally be hilarious. Check out this one of a kind footage of presenter Joan Rivers at The Logie in Awards in Melbourne. This may give a little insight as to why Rivers usually isn’t allowed to work inside most awards shows.
(link via Wow Report via Pop Sugar)

It’s May 9th; What’s up?

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tv set.jpgI need to ask– am I the only person who watches season finales for shows I’ve never seen before? I don’t know what it is, but whenever I hear a show is ending I’m suddenly interested enough to tune in. Case in point- Gilmore Girls tonight. Not only are they wrapping up their season, but Sonic Youth and Chloe from 24 are dropping by. That’s enough to make me want to watch. Other season finales tonight: Veronica Mars and MTV’s 8th & Ocean. If final episodes aren’t your thing, don’t worry- we got American Idol on Fox, Scrubs on NBC, a Kathy Griffin stand-up special on Bravo, and a TV movie that’s guaranteed to make you laugh uncontrollably about the bird flu- Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America. So what are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!