While You Were Pressing Snooze

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  • Howard Stern and Rosie O’Donnell plot to take over the world. Step one, obliterate Star Jones’.
  • Brian Grazer is a hoot at a party. Hide your lampshade, or it’s so going on his head!
  • Madonna’s not wearing her wedding ring. Not wearing her cone bra either–and that really meant something.
  • ABC has high hopes for new comedy lineup. But they’ll never match the chemistry of According to Jim .
  • Paris Hilton attacked in pop song. How will she ever bounce back from this one.
  • Denise Richard and Charlie Sheen makes a divorce truce. Well, their lawyers go out for a martini.

Best Night Ever: Monday, May 15th

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It’s Best Night Ever for Monday, May 15th! Bob Castrone is here to walk you through the best of Monday night tv, including Prison Break, 24, and Grey’s Anatomy!

…Of The Day

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  • PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS: No, not the one that airs tonight. This one.
  • T-SHIRT TO WEAR WHILE YOU WONDER WHO MAKES THE DECISIONS IN THIS COUNTRY: I’m The Decider
  • SHOT GLASS TO DRINK FROM AFTER BUSH IS DONE TALKING: Nice Shot
  • GOOD DAVID BLAINE NEWS: He’s going to run away and live in a jungle! Finally! (ContactMusic)
  • CONTEST: BWE’s Remix Contest, naturally (click here to play)
  • MASHUP: Forget mashing up two songs– mashing up Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria is where it’s at. (Double Viking via Gorillamask)

Mother’s Day with the Gyllenhaals

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jake4.jpgjake2.jpg Jake Gyllenhaal spent a nice quiet mother’s day walking on the beach in Malibu with his mom, his dad and his dog. While the family credits openess, love and patience for their closeness, their biggest inspiration is the Banana Republic catalog. (pics via ONTD)

SIZZLER: Paris and the Case of Mom’s Missing Gift

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paris_theft_0515_365x250.jpgNow, on the surface of this story it would seem as if Paris Hilton was the unwitting victim in some ruffian’s ploy to pilfer the expensive wares she’d previously purchased as a mother’s day gift for Hilton matriarch, Kathy. However, anyone who has ever been to college knows that “I swear I got you a present, but someone stole it off the porch” sounds like just the kind of thing a hungover twenty-five year-old sorority girl might use for an excuse when she’s too busy getting wasted and boning some meathead jock to remember to buy her mom a Mother’s Day gift.

Lohan’s Man’s Band on MySpace

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burke.jpgLindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend Jamie Burke, is the lead singer of the New York-based band Carte Blanche. Last month, their fanbase consisted mainly of Brooklyn hipsters. But ever since this picture surfaced last week, 14 year old girls are starting to take note of Carte Blanche. And no one can turn bands into certified rock stars faster than 14 year old girls.

Check out the comments section on their MySpace page. Last month it was littered with private jokes from friends, but this month, their commenters are getting younger and younger and just plain young. While the band still has two gigs scheduled for July at a divey strip club in NYC, thanks to Lohan (who may be the subject of their song “Mystery Girl”) Carte Blanche will be on TRL in no time. And if you want to ride their coattails they’re looking for a drummer.

ICYMI: Skittles Dosed With LSD?

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Not really sure what’s going on with this Skittles commercial, but I really feel like that people who make candy should lay off the hallucinogenics a little bit, as this sorta feels like that scary boat ride from the original Willy Wonka movie.

(There’s another weird one here.)

BWE: Remix Contest!

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christian bwe.jpgOk, so here it is guys: Your chance to create your very own Best Week Ever segment! How, you ask? Well, it’s easy. We give you clips of your favorite BWE panelists. You do whatever you want with them and post it to our site, BWE.tv‘s users vote the best ones to the top, and the winners get prizes. Sounds pretty cool, right?

Click below to see some examples and read the guidelines. Then with the help of Christian Finnegan, Sherrod Small, Frangela, Paul F. Tompkins, Melissa Rauch, and Paul Scheer, get cracking! Best of luck everybody!

Click here to start Remixing Now!