SIZZLER: RCA No Clay-mate

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According to Jossip and lots of achin’ Aiken fan sites, the American Idol winner has been dissed by RCA Records as a result of some nasty rumors that won’t go away. This past weekend, the company posted information on Clay Aiken’s upcoming album listing a June 20th release date. But today, the website has removed all mention of the album release.  One can only speculate that RCA is losing faith in the singer. Perhaps it has something to do with all that probing gossip about Aiken’s preference in extra-curricular activities. But why is it any of our business whether or not Clay loves…roller-coasters?

Worth 1000: Celebrity Sideshow

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Leo
The subhead of this Worth 1000 photoshop contest is "what if celebrities were sideshow freaks?" What if? I guess that means Janice Dickinson was out of the running. Zing!

Anyway, check out these cool photoshops of freaky celebrities. My favorite? This Kiefer Sutherland one. And the Two Headed Paris Hilton, because it begs the question: how much dumber would Paris Hilton be if she actually had to share a brain. I can’t even imagine.

Check out all of the entries here. Which one is your favorite?

Parental Control: TV Is Dirty

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Did you know that According to Jim is filled with references to masturbation? That Freddie featured a conversation about pubic hair? That a character in Girlfriends spent most of his time searching for a setting in which he could provide sperm to impregnate his lesbian sister’s girlfriend? You would if you visited the Parents Television Council’s website. In addition to letting you know which shows are appropriate for children (and which companies sponsor objectionable programs), the site gives you advice about how to get the Disney channel but not MTV and how to avoid the "worst cable content of the week."  Want to know what your night would look like if you followed their recommendations? Here it is:

  • 7 PM: The Most Extreme  (Animal Planet) Some animals deceive their prey.
  • 7:30 PM: Unwrapped (Food Network) Take a look at some refreshing snacks.
  • 8 PM: The Luck of the Irish (Disney Channel) When a young teen begins to turn into a leprechaun he must find a gold charm that will protect his family.
  • 9 PM: The Planet’s Funniest Animals (Animal Planet) Animals doing humorous things are caught on tape.

And then it’s straight to bed! See their entire list of "red light" shows after the jump…

Read more…

SIZZLER: Naomi Campbell Arrested!

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As of 12:20PM today,  Naomi Campbell was locked in a cage. The dangerously hot-tempered supermodel is currently behind bars at the Midtown North Precinct in Manhattan after being arrested for allegedly assualting her assistant.

This morning at around 8AM, Campbell reportedly threw a large object at the head of her 41 year old assistant. Her assistant was then taken to Lenox Hill Hospital and Naomi was taken to jail. This is the third time the model’s been accused of assaulting one of her assistants.

Reps for Campbell claim: "We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning. We are confident the courts will see it the same way." Huh?
It’s not bad enough she hits her assistants in the head with blunt objects, now she makes them clean her house too?  That’s worth 20 years in the slammer right there.

LISTEN UP: Your Daily Dose of the Best Music Ever

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  • Our boy Stereogum goes totally ape with the indie rock, posting 50 – yes, 50 – songs from all about the Internets.
  • MOKB has three of the new Liars tracks (though you’ll have to wipe off Pitchfork’s love juices yourselves).
  • Your Standard Life does it’s best to fight facism – with music!  Check out the Billy Bragg jangles.
  • Music Glob (get it, that’s ‘blog’ backwards!) plays some ball with the Sound Team.
  • The Rawking Refuses to Stop refuses to stop rawking the Guillemots.

Are Monkeys Having the Best Week Ever?

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If you were a monkey this week, you were sitting pretty. Just look at all the good stuff that happened with our primate relatives: Yesterday, the British phenomenon The Arctic Monkeys announced they’re almost done with their second album. Then the canceled CBS show, Love Monkey, is picked up by VH1. But wait there’s more: a Brooklyn anthropologist discovered a new species of monkeys. And fakebands.com debuts a book about the best fake bands of all time (featuring the Monkees)

And if that weren’t enough to make any monkey happy as a clam, today on youtube you can watch Karate Kid reenacted by three guys in monkeys suits.

For more movies artfully reenacted by monkeys go to clefpalate.com.

Questionable PR Move of The Week

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Why would anybody possibly go see Basic Instinct 2 this weekend?

1) They were dared to.
2) They’re into older women. Like much older women.
3) The wife won’t let them watch porn at home.
4) They remember seeing bits of pieces of the first one on HBO when they were a kid and want to see if it’s still enough to get them off.

I can’t think of anymore. Okay, so that leads to the questionable PR move of the weak. The deleted sex scenes from Basic Instinct 2 have been "leaked" onto the internet, begging the question: if these were the scenes that were cut out of the film, why would anybody possibly pay $10 to see a tamer, lamer version in theaters? The plot?? No way! It’d be like buying the Paris Hilton sex tape but only watching that annoying scene where she’s putting on makeup in the bathroom. Come on MGM, get it together. Why go buy the old, wrinkly cow when you can get the milk for free? [save yourself some money and watch the NSFW scenes here]

Lost Diagram Makes Us More Lost

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For all you Lost fans, last night’s episode was filled with hidden clues. The biggest came when John Locke was trapped under the door, and a diagram was revealed on the wall. While the producers of the show only wanted you to see the diagram for a second, thanks to modern technology we took a screen grab in order to decode its clues. Unfortunately, we still have no idea what it means. So we’re putting our faith in you diehard fans, click on the diagram and tell us what the F it means!

WHILE YOU WERE HAVING A PINT WITH MORTIMER MARTIN

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Justin

  • The New York Daily News has a list of the 20 most unnecessary sequels, inspired by the upcoming Basic Instinct 2. The question is, what exactly is a necessary sequel?
  • Gwyneth Paltrow was spotted having a Guinness, even though she’s pregnant (which is actually fine as long as she doesn’t do it too often). Well, that explains the names.
  • Justin Timberlake thinks Kevin Federline is gross. No comment necessary.
  • Is Katie Holmes so stressed that she will give birth without Tom Cruise there? Most people really just want to know if he was there at the conception.
  • Worried about lawsuits from deafened customers, Apple has added a feature that allows you to set the top volume wherever you like. For those of you who are already deaf from iPods, APPLE HAS ADDED A FEATURE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO SET THE TOP VOLUME WHEREVER YOU LIKE!
  • George Lopez has been given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Are you going to take this, Weird Al fans?